I'm not sure what other criteria I would attempt to measure this situation. Two total strangers meet, one of them says "I'm polyamorous", the other person who doesn't completely understand what that means asks a direct question.
In my world this is exactly the way positive communication works. I mean... it's best case scenario. Calling people names because they asked a direct question doesn't make any sense to me at all.
Am I missing context?
Others have weighed in, so now it is my turn. IMO, actions speak louder than words. So the individual taking umbrage with OP because she did not respond as quickly and in the manner of HIS choosing, not HERS, let's at least me know that the guy is no good. If s/he is like this at the very earliest of stages, then it will probably be in all likelihood to be a thousand times worse once the ball got rolling.
I learned a long time ago to believe people when they show me who they really are.