Hello from Northern Colorado

Morningman34

New member
Hello,

I'm Paul.
I live in Northern Colorado, am married to the love of my life and we have an open/poly marriage.

We have only been seeing other people for about a year, she has found a boyfriend and I have only had a few bad dates. We do swing together but we are really trying to play and date solo right now. We have gone through the range of emotions and feelings that anyone living poly has gone through or will go through and honestly we are a still learning.

I'm on this forum to meet new like minded people and learn more about my new life. Maybe I will find friends and maybe I will find a new partner.

Feel free to ask me anything. I'm an open book.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Greetings Paul,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are kind of transitioning from swing to poly, or perhaps you're in the process of adding poly to swing. Either way, you should be able to find like-minded friends here, we are a pretty friendly (but nutty) bunch. Can I ask, how long have you lived in Colorado? That's an awesome state. Good to have you with us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 

Morningman34

New member
I have live in Colorado off and on since 2004, moved around being in the military, but I have lived here permanently since 1016.
 

Evie

Active member
Hi Paul
Out of curiosity, if you're married to the love of [your] life" then do you actually perceive yourself being romantically interested in anyone else? Your marriage is open, sure, but is your heart and mind truly open to finding another loving partner, or will your dates always be bad because you're actually not emotionally available?
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Hi Paul, it makes sense that being in the military, you would move around a lot, but it sounds like you are able to stay in Colorado now. That's awesome.
 

Morningman34

New member
Hi Paul
Out of curiosity, if you're married to the love of [your] life" then do you actually perceive yourself being romantically interested in anyone else? Your marriage is open, sure, but is your heart and mind truly open to finding another loving partner, or will your dates always be bad because you're actually not emotionally available?

Yes, I feel that I can be romantically involved with another. My dates have not been bad due to anything that I have done or for a lack of romantic availability.

My last date decided to do drugs in the passenger seat of my car while I was driving, I am all for and support recreational use of drugs, but not in the front seat of my car on our first date. Nor will I date somebody who is doing any drugs more than say pot or MDMA, she was snorting coke. The other date that didnt go so well started when she lit up a cigarette before we went into the restaurant, again I dont care that you smoke, however, I don't and its a huge turn off to me. She had also stated several times that she didn't smoke when we were just chatting, so this made me wonder what else was she lying about. I got a feeling that her husband was not on board with her dating, and that she may not actually be in an ENM marriage.

So, I dont feel those things are my fault, the women were pleasant enough but there were some big red flags, for me at least.

Emotionally, yes, I have enough love to go around. I am simply not willing to compromise on my wants and desires. I want somebody I can trust, if you start off the first date on a lie then how can I truly trust you. I want somebody who is hard drug , I know some people will think that I am being a hypocrite if I am okay with them indulging in pot, but I am okay with that. And I have to be attracted to the person, in these cases, that was not the issue.
 

Evie

Active member
Oh god, they both sound like really terrible dates!
 

Morningman34

New member
Unfortunately they were. So I am still looking but not actively looking. I find that when you are too eager to find somebody you end up compromising on what you are really looking for.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Hi Paul, I agree with you, you need to be able to at least trust that your dates are telling the truth. You have had a couple of rounds of bad luck so far, hopefully you will have better luck in the future.
 
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