After many attempts at being monogamous ( with both males and females ) I am now dedicated to finding a couple who I could establish a loving relationship with. My search so far has been utterly fruitless as I cant seem to find any sites to find them on here in the UK!!!!...I have even tried swinging sites ( holy moly lol ) with no success...can anyone help me pleeeeeeease!!!!
Hello there..Unicorn here lol.
- Thread starter Tunefull
- Start date
Hi Tunefull,
Welcome to the forum. A lot depends on exactly where in the UK you are based, as there's a lot of variation in terms of how big (or nonexistent!) the poly community may be. Your best bet is to try to find out if there is a poly group that meets near you - they're not like swinger events, no one is going to excessively hit on you, but you will at least be able to meet and have conversations with people who are open to relationships with multiple people. OkCupid is one of the better dating sites as you can explicitly set filters to find people in non-monogamous relationships, and be up front in your own profile about what you want and why.
It sure seems like every other couple comes into this forum with the stated mission of finding a single bi female, so be assured that there are plenty of people looking for what you want. However, it's never easy (in fact, I would err on the side of pessimism and say it's impossible) to find two attractive people, who are already in a relationship, who both fancy you, who you connect with 'equally' well, and who are mature and open minded enough to truly allow you into their hearts and lives as fully as the original couple are to each other. As long as you don't go into things naively assuming that you will find a couple and all three of you fall in love at the same pace, and to the same degree, then you might well be content. But success stories are extremely thin on the ground. The best triads seem to be the ones which start out as a V (you dating one half) and then naturally morph into more of a triangle. A triad cannot be forced. There are literally hundreds of people's personal stories of how they've attempted to do just that and it end up imploding. Have a good flick through the threads and see for yourself. The ones that work out tend to be the 'accidental-I-wasn't-looking-for-a-triad-but-oops-I-found-one' kind.
Anyway, I hope you find a lot of information here to help you on your way. There is actually a place for you to look for potential partners (in the Dating and Events section) - although it's not really the primary purpose of the forum, so there's not really much activity on those threads compared to the main ones.
Welcome to the forum. A lot depends on exactly where in the UK you are based, as there's a lot of variation in terms of how big (or nonexistent!) the poly community may be. Your best bet is to try to find out if there is a poly group that meets near you - they're not like swinger events, no one is going to excessively hit on you, but you will at least be able to meet and have conversations with people who are open to relationships with multiple people. OkCupid is one of the better dating sites as you can explicitly set filters to find people in non-monogamous relationships, and be up front in your own profile about what you want and why.
It sure seems like every other couple comes into this forum with the stated mission of finding a single bi female, so be assured that there are plenty of people looking for what you want. However, it's never easy (in fact, I would err on the side of pessimism and say it's impossible) to find two attractive people, who are already in a relationship, who both fancy you, who you connect with 'equally' well, and who are mature and open minded enough to truly allow you into their hearts and lives as fully as the original couple are to each other. As long as you don't go into things naively assuming that you will find a couple and all three of you fall in love at the same pace, and to the same degree, then you might well be content. But success stories are extremely thin on the ground. The best triads seem to be the ones which start out as a V (you dating one half) and then naturally morph into more of a triangle. A triad cannot be forced. There are literally hundreds of people's personal stories of how they've attempted to do just that and it end up imploding. Have a good flick through the threads and see for yourself. The ones that work out tend to be the 'accidental-I-wasn't-looking-for-a-triad-but-oops-I-found-one' kind.
Anyway, I hope you find a lot of information here to help you on your way. There is actually a place for you to look for potential partners (in the Dating and Events section) - although it's not really the primary purpose of the forum, so there's not really much activity on those threads compared to the main ones.
Hi Tunefull,
Have you tried OKCupid yet? What about joining a local poly group in your area?
You could even post an ad right here on this forum, in Dating & Friendships (Europe).
Good luck in your search and let me know if I can help with more info.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Have you tried OKCupid yet? What about joining a local poly group in your area?
You could even post an ad right here on this forum, in Dating & Friendships (Europe).
Good luck in your search and let me know if I can help with more info.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
OK Cupid is quite poly friendly. In fact, even though I am in the US, I get messages from men in the UK quite a bit, who just want to chat (or I guess, have cybersex...)
I second the above opinions about couple-seeking. Having a 2 for one package might seem nice, but it's a fantasy for the reasons stated. It's complicated forming 2 different relationships at once, with an established couple. Make sure they know you may fall harder for one or the other. Jealousies and breakups abound when a unicorn fancies one partner in a couple over another. But that pretty much always happens!!!
I do have a friend in Holland who has been seeing a married couple for many years. In her case, she prefers the woman, and they get together one on one often, and then also have 3somes with the man sometimes. The ladies always outlast the man though!
I second the above opinions about couple-seeking. Having a 2 for one package might seem nice, but it's a fantasy for the reasons stated. It's complicated forming 2 different relationships at once, with an established couple. Make sure they know you may fall harder for one or the other. Jealousies and breakups abound when a unicorn fancies one partner in a couple over another. But that pretty much always happens!!!
I do have a friend in Holland who has been seeing a married couple for many years. In her case, she prefers the woman, and they get together one on one often, and then also have 3somes with the man sometimes. The ladies always outlast the man though!
I agree
Yes I agree that it is a hard thing to find two people that can all feel the same way about each other, however I have seen it work in real time so am adamant that I can have this for myself. jealousy will always arise but its about communicating it straight away so that it can be dealt with . x
Yes I agree that it is a hard thing to find two people that can all feel the same way about each other, however I have seen it work in real time so am adamant that I can have this for myself. jealousy will always arise but its about communicating it straight away so that it can be dealt with . x
Hi Tunefull,
Yes, you can post what you're looking for on the Dating & Friendships boards. That's what they're there for. And, if you haven't tried OKCupid yet, you should give it a try.
Polyamory.com isn't a dating site per se, but we do allow dating ads on the appropriate boards. Though OKCupid may get you more results.
Sometimes Fetlife can also help you find poly groups and people, if you're willing to register on that site. Anyway, that's a couple of ideas.
Regards,
Kevin T.
Yes, you can post what you're looking for on the Dating & Friendships boards. That's what they're there for. And, if you haven't tried OKCupid yet, you should give it a try.
Polyamory.com isn't a dating site per se, but we do allow dating ads on the appropriate boards. Though OKCupid may get you more results.
Sometimes Fetlife can also help you find poly groups and people, if you're willing to register on that site. Anyway, that's a couple of ideas.
Regards,
Kevin T.