Hello!

[ThatPolyGuyUK]

Hey there, I’m new to this and I’m having conflicting feelings within myself and I’m looking to see if anyone on here shares similar thoughts on relationships to me. However, due to this being a Polyamory website I think that’s already the case.

I’m a 25 year old male, married and I have a child. I know how to do relationships and I’ve had plenty of them. However, the same cycle always repeats itself. I get into a relationship because I need the comfort of having somebody, but problems constantly persist because the thought of being with others, sexually, exhilarates me.

So, the same cycle repeats where my relationships break down because I can’t stop thinking of other people in a sexual manner, despite actually being really happy with my current partner.

It has been getting me down, like is there something wrong with me? Why am I always like this? It’s been like this for as long as I can remember and in all honesty I thought I would grow out of it, like it was a childish phase. In all reality, these feelings are getting stronger and stronger as I grow older.

So fast forward to now and this might sound trivial, but TikTok has really helped me to find myself. I keep seeing videos of poly people on my feed and it’s led to me to research it further.

I think I’m polyamorous and that realisation has really allowed to me understand myself further and in fact there’s nothing wrong with me. I just need to be able to communicate that to others and understand what it means.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, hello. I think I’m new to poly community and I’m just trying to find out who I am.

P.S. I’m British and live in Scotland.

 

[Evie]

Hi Kroddors
Welcome, and nope, nothing is wrong with you
There's two ways to think about polyamory... as something you are, or as something you do. You might be absolutely capable of having the physical, mental and emotional capacity to have multiple romantic (and sexual) partnerships, and still choose not to. Or you might choose to only participate in relationships wherein ethical non-monogamy is agreed to by all the people involved. Some of those people might be poly themselves, some might be happily to be with a poly person but prefer just one partner themselves. There really are so many different configurations to how poly relationships can be structured (the shape of the polycule) that there's no one size fits all. There's also a lot of terminology so I won't try to use it all here in one post, but have a search for the glossary and if you need anything clarified, asking specific questions is good.
All the best for getting to know this part of yourself!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Kroddors,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You will find many like-minded individuals, just have a look around and see what calls to you, post questions, etc.

There is a book that may be of interest to you, it is, "Sex at Dawn: how we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships," by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.

Here's the site glossary: https://polyamory.com/threads/glossary-and-definitions.1720

If you need any other help, just let me know.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[FuzzyHedgepig]

Hi.

I'm a 25 year old enby and also in Scotland!

I used to really struggle with getting confused by having strong romantic feelings for multiple people and I knew I had to choose one but it was never that simple. And then I discovered polyamory and it's made my life so much better to just love who I love and not have to feel guilty about that. I do still frequently feel guilty and worry that there's something wrong with me/I'm hurting my partners. But if I wasn't constantly worried that I'm upsetting everyone around me and secretly A Monster what would my therapy sessions be about?