Hello!

[Lea]

Hello all!

I joined because I am a person who does better when I have a place to talk about my feelings and sort through things, making friends and relating to others who share similar views and experiences.

I am 37, polyamorous and bisexual (or probably pansexual honestly). I've been with my spouse for nearly 17 years, 12 of those married and we have three kids. I also am part of a trio, with a boyfriend and girlfriend, who are both long distance right now. I came out to my husband as poly about two years ago, which was very difficult for him. In the beginning I said I would keep it online and we agreed to that, but love doesn't really work that way and after I met my girlfriend, I really wanted to move into it fully.

It's been a journey, but I've been with my boyfriend now for a year and my girlfriend for eight months.

I'm here to continue learning more about how I can successfully grow all my relationships as well.

Thanks!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Lea,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you have done some work and journeying in figuring out what you want, and negotiating with your husband. I hope Polyamory.com serves you well in helping you continue to sort through feelings, and seeding new friendships for you. As you continue to read and post here, I believe it will.

Glad you could join us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Spork]

Hey! I like that about this site, too, as written mediums give me a better ability to chew on ideas and feelings and sort through things.

I would make two suggestions...

1. Start a blog in the "Life Stories and Blogs" section if you haven't yet. It's a great thing to have that space to really pick apart your stuff.

2. Be cautious about inviting people from your real life (particularly relationship partners) to read it. I thought this was a good idea because I wanted my partners to know what was going on with me. Even though I am no longer seeing 3 out of 4 of the people I was involved with, all of whom I invited to read the blog...I don't regret it because they still can read it. I'm fine with that. But sometimes (hell...recently...) I have wanted to dissect some heavy duty personal triggers and some rather mucky brain-tar...and I find myself feeling kind of bad for subjecting my boyfriend to all of that baggage, knowing after the fact that he has read it. I've repeatedly reassured him that it is ME STUFF that I'm working through, and not any judgment against him or based on him doing anything I see as wrong. But I still feel afraid he'll back away when he sees some of the darker stuff going on in my mind, my insecurities and all.

And more than one of these people has expressed to me that they actually find it somewhat uncomfortable reading it, because it feels like they are reading my diary.

Just some food for thought. Welcome!

 

[Lea]

Greetings Lea,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you have done some work and journeying in figuring out what you want, and negotiating with your husband. I hope Polyamory.com serves you well in helping you continue to sort through feelings, and seeding new friendships for you. As you continue to read and post here, I believe it will.

Glad you could join us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Welcome aboard!

Thank you! My trio is reading "More than Two" together and discussing it (we intended a chapter a week but with life/holidays/etc it doesn't happen that fast), but it's definitely a fantastic book and matches how I feel about poly as well. Very good for learning.

1. Start a blog in the "Life Stories and Blogs" section if you haven't yet. It's a great thing to have that space to really pick apart your stuff.

I do have one on another site. I can c/p some of it over here to get started

2. Be cautious about inviting people from your real life (particularly relationship partners) to read it. I thought this was a good idea because I wanted my partners to know what was going on with me. Even though I am no longer seeing 3 out of 4 of the people I was involved with, all of whom I invited to read the blog...I don't regret it because they still can read it. I'm fine with that. But sometimes (hell...recently...) I have wanted to dissect some heavy duty personal triggers and some rather mucky brain-tar...and I find myself feeling kind of bad for subjecting my boyfriend to all of that baggage, knowing after the fact that he has read it. I've repeatedly reassured him that it is ME STUFF that I'm working through, and not any judgment against him or based on him doing anything I see as wrong. But I still feel afraid he'll back away when he sees some of the darker stuff going on in my mind, my insecurities and all.

My current blog is only known by people whom I know online, my trio, and my sister and that's all I'm comfortable sharing with it right now. I didn't tell anyone I joined this site because I like to have some places I can go and have that outside perspective. My own 'spaces'. I think everyone needs their own spaces and that sometimes people don't value personal privacy as much as they should.

Anyway! Thanks for the welcome!