Help?

[sage]

Before I met her, I was the epitome of a tramp. I dated a married guy for 6 years, typically would only sleep with people I would never want to see again, swore love didn't exist, I'd never wed... and now look at me!

Hi DC,

I can relate to this. I wasn't all that squeaky clean in my relationships before Z either. And I have often wondered if some kind of same-life karma isn't at work here.

I made a conscious decision when I left my marriage that I wanted to clean up my act, because giving less than my best to my relationship wasn't serving me very well.

I think there is a definite tie up between coming to that decision and the quality of love I have with Z. I would never give him anything less than my very best.

Perhaps the love you feel for your wife is giving you the opportunity to clean up your act? I believe that our emotional heart is a muscle, just like our physical heart, and to be able to open up to more love it sometimes needs a really good work-out (which it seems yours is getting).

Keep at it.

 

[DazednConfused]

Well, so far today has been a work-out. I'm exhausted. I got to play Cyrano de Bergerac for her, to help her heal things with her bf due to the mess Saturday. Then I got the pleasure of contacting him to let him know it was my fault, and he and I have no issues.

Part of me feels relieved, like I'm behaving like a stronger, well-advised person, doing what I need to in order to help her find her happiness; yet another feels like a fool who is being taken advantage of. *gag* Gosh, I can't quite figure out which is worse, jealousy or pride. Both are vicious little buggers.