Hi all! =)

[Nikkera]

Hi I’m Nicole, and I’m from Eastern Canada.

I’m currently in a long distance, open relationship… and it’s more for my boyfriend’s benefit than mine. I’m still new to this, so there is lots to learn! I look forward to reading everyone’s posts, and being a part of a like-minded community… if y’all don’t mind me learning as I go.

Have a fantastic day!

 

[Evie]

Hi Nicole

I'm recently (since april) in a long distance relationship too, but it's quite a different dynamic from previous ones from years ago, because now there's skype.

Do you have any concrete plans to be living in the same city/house again?

Learning is part and parcel of living outside societal norms and evolving one's habitus. To learn about oneself is, I believe, central to the human experience. To learn about another can be a joyous experience - it's how we make friends, and lovers.

You probably know this by now, but polyamory isn't (for the majority of those who live it) about having multiple sexual partners at one time. It's about connection. Just like any relationship is.

best wishes
Evie

 

[Nikkera]

Hi Nicole

I'm recently (since april) in a long distance relationship too, but it's quite a different dynamic from previous ones from years ago, because now there's skype.

Do you have any concrete plans to be living in the same city/house again?

Learning is part and parcel of living outside societal norms and evolving one's habitus. To learn about oneself is, I believe, central to the human experience. To learn about another can be a joyous experience - it's how we make friends, and lovers.

You probably know this by now, but polyamory isn't (for the majority of those who live it) about having multiple sexual partners at one time. It's about connection. Just like any relationship is.

best wishes
Evie

Evie, Skype is definitely a great thing to have! As well as glide, and texting, haha.

when I have enough saved, I plan to move to the US and find a job in the field I want. Right now, I’m not content with my savings, and want a bigger safety net. In October, he leaves the US to go to London, England for school for 2 years... so there's time

Lots of visits planned (well, 2x a year), but we don’t have details worked out for after he finishes school. I’m hoping by the time he finishes school, I’ll either be working in the US already or finalizing work visa paperwork to move there.

Boyfriend or not, most of my friends are in the US anyways, and it’s more accessible to me as a deaf person!

A big part of the open relationship for him and I is because he mentioned he cheated on every girlfriend he’s had. He told me I’m everything he’d want in a woman, but it would kill him to cheat on me… then I told him I’d be okay with considering an open relationship, where it would be okay to have sex with others.

So I know NOW that it is not only about having sexual partners at one time, however, it is how I originally became interested in open relationships and polyamory dynamics.

How about you? Long distance can be extremely tiring, do you have any plans to be together in the same area again?

 

[Evie]

Evie, Skype is definitely a great thing to have! As well as glide, and texting, haha.

when I have enough saved, I plan to move to the US and find a job in the field I want. Right now, I’m not content with my savings, and want a bigger safety net. In October, he leaves the US to go to London, England for school for 2 years... so there's time

Lots of visits planned (well, 2x a year), but we don’t have details worked out for after he finishes school. I’m hoping by the time he finishes school, I’ll either be working in the US already or finalizing work visa paperwork to move there.

Boyfriend or not, most of my friends are in the US anyways, and it’s more accessible to me as a deaf person!

I completely understand about wanting the bigger safety net of savings, I feel like I've been in that position most of my life, sigh.

A big part of the open relationship for him and I is because he mentioned he cheated on every girlfriend he’s had. He told me I’m everything he’d want in a woman, but it would kill him to cheat on me… then I told him I’d be okay with considering an open relationship, where it would be okay to have sex with others.

So I know NOW that it is not only about having sexual partners at one time, however, it is how I originally became interested in open relationships and polyamory dynamics.

How about you? Long distance can be extremely tiring, do you have any plans to be together in the same area again?

The LDR was originally just going to be for the winter (southern hemisphere) so I didn't have to live in the cold climate that made me sick repeatedly last year, but now I don't want to go back at all, because I hate our (rental) house, and the weather won't get that much better during summer anyway. So I'm looking for work. If I get something then we'll investigate options for him moving to be with me and studying long distance. If not, then I guess I'll have to go back with the daffodils like I originally planned. So I have until the end of August to find a job!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Nicole,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Your love and loyalty for your boyfriend is admirable; it isn't easy to contemplate open relationships in today's world. I hope Polyamory.com is a good resource to you for learning as much as you can about polyamory. There's a lot to learn.

Glad to have you with us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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