Hi everybody!

S

Sofi

New member
Hey everyone! I'm Sofia and I'm a bisexual poly female in a long distance triad relationship with a married couple. I'm 29, and I've been with Finn (32, male, straight) for eleven months, and Lore (33, female, bisexual) for nine months. Finn and Lore have been together for 12 years, married for four years, and have a two year old daughter. They live in Amsterdam, and I live in California, but I am moving to be with them in Amsterdam next month! This is my first poly relationship, but I grew up in a Mormon polygyny community so poly living is by no means new to me, though this I know will be completely different.

The truth is that though I am obviously very excited about moving to live with them, I'm also extremely nervous. Though I very sure it will work out with the three adults, I am scared their little girl won't like me. Lore and Finn have been in a triad before, but long before their little girl was born, and I'm not sure how she will react to having another adult woman in her family life.

I'm also going to be changing career when I move; currently I'm an elementary school teacher, but I'm going back to being an engineer when I move. So it's all happening here!
 
Greetings Sofia,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Wow, you have some big changes on the road ahead in your life. I can imagine it must be scary and exciting. As far as Lore and Finn's daughter is concerned, if she's only two I don't think I'd worry too much that she'll pass judgments on you. Kids that age tend to be focused on their own needs and not too worried about the backdrop. If anything I think she'd enjoy the extra attention from an extra adult. Though it's possible she'll need some time to get used to you.

You're moving to Amsterdam; are you moving in with Lore and Finn right way? All three of you will be living under one roof? If so that's likely to be your biggest challenge, not saying it can't be done but it will be quite an adjustment.

I'm intrigued that you grew up in a Mormon polygyny community; I myself grew up a Mormon nestled between Salt Lake and Provo, so you and I have a little cultural background in common.

It's great to have you with us; I look forward to hearing more of your story as it unfolds.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

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Welcome aboard!
 
Wow, that is a big move! Do you have a job there all set to go? Have you guys done "extended vacation," and talked about all the "move in" and "relationship stuff?" (finances, relationship model, being "out," any rules about what you can and can't do within the house and with each partner, what happens in case of a break up of one of the couples (there are actually 4 relationships in every triad), etc.?

I wish you the best of luck on your move. If it were me, I'd live on my own first, and make sure we all got along when living closely; but, if you are comfortable and have covered all the bases, then hopefully you'll have a great new chapter!
 
Thanks everyone for welcoming me! :)

I'm actually going to be living in the same area as Finn and Lore for the first few months at least, though they don't live together full time anyway. The idea is that when we are ready to live together, I'll move into Finn's flat, and Lore will continue to go between that flat and her own.
I have a job that I'll be starting two weeks after I move but it's only a six month contact.
I've only visited Finn and Lore four times, and only for two weeks maximum, but we have discussed everything; the most important thing to us was to acknowledge that a lot of things we will have to tackle as they arise, because this is new to a all of us.

I grew up in Salt Lake City itself, though I don't have any contact with my family and haven't had for about 10 years, so I have no idea if they are still there or not.
 
Wow, I take it you and your family had some kind of falling out. That sucks. :(

I think it is smart that you're not immediately moving in with Finn. You'll already have culture shock to deal with during those first few months.

Keep us posted on how things are going.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
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