Hi friends, I'm Ty <3

[SweetSparkle_88]

Hey all!

I've been lurking about for the past few weeks, and wanted to wave a hand. My name's Ty, I'm a nonbinary transmasculine person, and my pronouns are they/them. I'm 33, and queer as all get-out. I'm married to another nonbinary transperson who I'll call N (pronouns=he/them). We've been together for about seven years, married for three, and monogamous throughout. However, I've been coming into a new understanding of my heart and how it works recently, and have been exploring the possibility that I might in fact be a poly person. I'm specifically interested in the idea of moving from monogamy towards a multi-partner relationship, and how to do so with love and care for all involved.

N and I have a really healthy relationship; we're both quite independent, have our own friends and hobbies and passions, and are rock-bottom committed to supporting each others' happiness/self-actualization/etc. To that end, N has encouraged me to adventure forth into this scary new province of my heart, and so here I am!

I say scary because until now, my own direct experience with polyamory had been extremely limited (like, two or three glancing attempts in previous relationships) and always ended in someone (usually myself) getting horrendously hurt. However, I'm fairly sure this was a symptom of (a) the codependence, poor emotional regulation skills and overall mental health struggles that characterized most of my twenties, (b) ignorance to the many different ways poly relationships can and do function, and (c) lack of community where I could process confusions and learn from others' experience and perspective. Since I've gotten (a) pretty well managed these days, I'm excited to remedy (b) and (c) here! As well as get to deepen my friendships and connections with poly folks I know IRL.

Thanks in advance for all the love! Hugs, Ty

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Ty,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I think communication is the most important factor in making the transition to polyamory. Always keep your feelings on the table, and hopefully N will do the same. I definitely recommend that you keep reading and posting here; you can get a lot of info and a lot of good advice. The Poly Relationships Corner is an especially good place to post and describe your situation, as it tends to get the most responses from the widest range of people. However, if you want to just keep posting in this intro thread, that will work well too. I'm glad you could join us, and hope you will enjoy your stay on the forum.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[locha]

Hi Ty!
Nice to meet you.

I think this forum will be insightful. A lot of us are new to these experiences, and they can certainly be scary. It's a journey, though. We will learn to navigate our feelings to then find lasting connections.

I'm cheering for you