Thank you all for your kind replies. I read your messages and looked at the data on your profiles showing the various people in your life.
I would love to be part of a group relationship. I would also like to be open about it. I think being open and honest to society about who I am is as important as the relationship itself. Only one of my closest friends knows about my swinging life, and I only told him during a drunken night out.
Anyway, below is a quick life story of mine. I wrote it a week or so ago.
If I’m not going to bore people, I’ll write a little about my story, and fast forward over some parts where nothing of any consequence happened.
I met my wife when we were both aged 18. She had been going out with a friend of mine a few months earlier. We started going out with each other, and fast forward a year or so, we were living together.
My job required me to regularly be away from home for a few weeks at a time. When I’d come home we’d go out to friend's parties, where it was obvious she’d been while I’d been away, not that I had a problem with this. But one lad in particular obviously fancied her and made no attempt to hide it.
He would sometimes come around our flat when I was there, and instead of sitting in a chair, he’d sit on the sofa with us, my then girlfriend in the middle. She’d flirt with us both, but nothing sexual ever happened, certainly not between the three of us anyway.
I remember having fantasies that she would be with him whilst I was away, and once I started a conversation to bring up the subject. BIG MISTAKE. She accused me of trying to push her into the arms of another man, and accused me of wanting to be with other women, neither of which were true.
Fast forward 10 years: we were married and had two young children. Life was normal, we were happy, and just a regular couple.
We were open minded compared to a lot of our friends. We would watch porn together and read Contact, a swingers magazine, although we never actually contacted anyone.
It was no secret to my wife that I wanted her to sleep with another man and have him as a regular boyfriend. She’d laugh it off, but sometimes tease me with it, if she wanted to turn me on.
Fast forward another 10 years, and our youngest child turned 18. I was working away from home again, and my wife called me and told me she would be open to a threesome with me and another man!!!! I thought all my Christmases and birthdays had come together.
Within a couple of weeks we’d had a 3some with a friend of a friend. He told us about a swinging website, which we joined. I encouraged my wife to have sex with this man again while I was away, which she did. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn into an emotional relationship between them and it petered out.
Within a couple of months of joining the swinger website we met a couple, T female, and D male. I suppose this was my first taste of a relationship with more than one female. The agreement was that as two couples we’d be exclusive to each other, no sex outside of the four of us.
My job still required me to work away a lot. I rented a flat where I’d live during the week and go home at weekends. Between us we organised that my wife and D would spend the night together, which they did. Then T came to my flat during the week and we spent time together.
All was good until D got jealous of T being alone with me. He was fine when we had a 4some but not when I was alone with his wife. (A point to note, my wife and T were both Bisexual, so also had a relationship).
Over the following months we’d message each other, meet up, chat, have sex and generally have a great time. I felt for the first time that I was fulfilled and living life.
That lasted until my wife felt that D was not giving her as much attention as I was giving to T. I felt immense pressure to curb my relationship with T, who started to ask questions about why I was being cold towards her. Both T and I would have happily carried on, but my wife and D seemed to grow apart.
It eventually ended with a big argument. It wasn’t pretty.
However, I did then get to become a ‘real swinger’ and we attended many parties and clubs. Our friendship group changed and a normal night out down the pub became very boring. We just wanted to spend time with our new sexy friends.
Fast forward a year, and we had become involved in the BDSM scene. We met many lovely people. We learned all about D/s relationships, and also encountered many poly relationships, which seemed quite normal. There was definitely more acceptance of poly relationships in the BDSM scene, far more than the swinging scene.
We ended up as a D/s couple, me being Dom and my wife sub. It wasn’t 24/7, but we really enjoyed learning new skills and having sex with lots of people at the same time.
Fast forward 5 years, swinging had ground to a halt as had our BDSM life. We kept our profiles on the websites, but never went to any parties, even though we still had a few swinger and kinkster friends. I accepted that my wife had tired of the scenes and tried to be ‘vanilla’ for a few years.
However, my old urges came back, stronger than ever, and I knew I couldn’t live a 'normal' life. Following deep soul searching and many tears I decided to leave my wife. Not because I don’t love her, but because I really really do love my wife. Weird as it sounds, I made the decision to separate so I wouldn’t ruin what we’d had for so long. I wanted to protect it and also protect my wife.
I needed to have other people in my life, other partners. I didn’t want to be my wife's exclusive. I didn’t want to be totally reliant on her for my happiness, nor did I want to be her only crutch. I wanted us to have multiple people in our lives for emotional and physical needs.
I lived on my own the whole of 2019, without dating or having sex with anyone. I wanted to be on my own, to find myself and maybe to realise I’d made a massive mistake. I did however re-engage with my swinger and kinkster mates purely for messaging and a catch up.
2020 came and I decided it was time to move on and satisfy my sexual needs. I set up a single profile on a swingers site and have had a couple of 3somes. I have also been on a couple of social dates and chatted to females that have been in poly relationships in the past.
I advertise myself as actively looking for a poly relationship on the swinger site. Although I think I’m more likely to meet poly people on the BDSM scene, which I’m also involved with.
My wife met another man in 2020, and I’m very happy for them. I would honestly be back like a shot if she invited me to move in with them. I love her, I want her, but not as an exclusive.