Hi I'm Bobby


New member
I'm 47 and relatively uninitiated in Poly though my wife and I opened our marriage 4 years ago while I was doing travel nursing and was barely ever at home gone for weeks at a time, it also wasn't my idea. My wife and I are kink friendly and while spending time with some one who was topping her she stepped out. before telling me this she brought up polyamory and how it would be healthy for us, I had a feeling I knew why and went with it, then she confessed having already stepped out. I went poly to save my message.


Well-known member

Sounds like you were open for kink only scenes, but not open for poly.

I'm sorry your wife cheated on previous agreements. Then tried to sell you on polyamory and how great it is. And then confessed that actually, she'd already cheated.

If you had a feeling when she was trying to sell you on how great poly is... I wonder why you just decided to "go with it" rather than asking her up front what was going on?

What work has been done to heal and rebuild trust?

What are you saving the marriage from by doing poly? Cuz one could cheat on their poly agreements too. It's not like they are magic or something.

Are you trying to save yourself from something? What?

Not trying to be mean. Just trying to understand your situation better.



Official Greeter
Staff member
Greetings Bobby,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I looked at your other thread, and responded there briefly. Basically, my advice is to do more of befriending people platonically in person, and less of searching for love on dating sites. Not that the latter never works, but it is a lot more frustrating.

You are having a rough go of it. I hope your luck improves.
Kevin T., "official greeter"


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