I'm posting here as a sort of last-ditch effort kind of thing, so any and all advice is welcome!
My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, and I've fallen for her hard. It's a naïve thought since neither of us have even graduated yet, but whenever I think of her as a person, I believe that she's the kind of girl that I would want to marry in the future.
In October she came out to me as polyamorous - or, at least searching. She says that she's not completely sure of it yet, but she has done quite a bit of research on it and has even immersed herself in some poly-friendly podcasts. She says that the only way that she'll know if she's poly for sure, is if she tries it out for herself. Assuming that the tile did its job well to be self-explanatory, that's where the major nick in our relationship lies. I'm monogamous, though I've never had any personal qualms with polyamory or those who identify with it. Since she's shared her thoughts with me, I've spent my fair share of late nights doing some soul-searching and researching about polyamory, what it is, what relationships are like. I have seriously thought about what it would be like if I did agree to open our relationship up to someone else, but my personal conclusion is that it would be extremely detrimental to me emotionally-wise. The only thing that I've gained from these nights is a fragmented image of her surrounded by the partners whom she adores, and who adore her in return. She's a wonderful person and deserves to be loved the way that she wants to be, I believe that with all of my heart, it's just the really painful thing is that I cannot provide her all of that as a single person.
I know the solution is fairly obvious: break-up. What makes it so complicated is that neither of us are quite ready to let each other go. The sheer thought of leaving her brings me an incredible amount of heartache that I didn't know I was capable of feeling.
We discussed our relationship openly recently, and when I asked her if she still wanted what we have to continue, her lack of response was muddled with tears. At the end of the night we agreed to, at the very least, hold onto our relationship until graduation. It feels like a ticking time bomb.
I'm sorry if this comes off the wrong way, or if the intention of this post is unclear, but some wisdom, harsh remarks, or gentle ones would be very helpful. How should this situation be handled? I feel at a complete loss of what to do, and some guidance is very much welcomed.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, and I've fallen for her hard. It's a naïve thought since neither of us have even graduated yet, but whenever I think of her as a person, I believe that she's the kind of girl that I would want to marry in the future.
In October she came out to me as polyamorous - or, at least searching. She says that she's not completely sure of it yet, but she has done quite a bit of research on it and has even immersed herself in some poly-friendly podcasts. She says that the only way that she'll know if she's poly for sure, is if she tries it out for herself. Assuming that the tile did its job well to be self-explanatory, that's where the major nick in our relationship lies. I'm monogamous, though I've never had any personal qualms with polyamory or those who identify with it. Since she's shared her thoughts with me, I've spent my fair share of late nights doing some soul-searching and researching about polyamory, what it is, what relationships are like. I have seriously thought about what it would be like if I did agree to open our relationship up to someone else, but my personal conclusion is that it would be extremely detrimental to me emotionally-wise. The only thing that I've gained from these nights is a fragmented image of her surrounded by the partners whom she adores, and who adore her in return. She's a wonderful person and deserves to be loved the way that she wants to be, I believe that with all of my heart, it's just the really painful thing is that I cannot provide her all of that as a single person.
I know the solution is fairly obvious: break-up. What makes it so complicated is that neither of us are quite ready to let each other go. The sheer thought of leaving her brings me an incredible amount of heartache that I didn't know I was capable of feeling.
We discussed our relationship openly recently, and when I asked her if she still wanted what we have to continue, her lack of response was muddled with tears. At the end of the night we agreed to, at the very least, hold onto our relationship until graduation. It feels like a ticking time bomb.
I'm sorry if this comes off the wrong way, or if the intention of this post is unclear, but some wisdom, harsh remarks, or gentle ones would be very helpful. How should this situation be handled? I feel at a complete loss of what to do, and some guidance is very much welcomed.
