H'ok So.....

Hi, Breathe. This may be totally off base but I thought I'd share anyway (in case it applies at all to Peach & Sudo.) When my long-term marriage was failing and it was obvious we were heading for a separation and later, a divorce, we both just needed some time to process and grieve before we made huge decisions like division of property and finances. Even once we'd separated and then decided to divorce, it was a few months before I filed (we'd agreed I'd be the one to file.) Yes, finances are important but imho, emotional health and well-being trumps financial. Sometimes we just need time to let our hearts catch up to our heads, kwim? In my experience, making major financial decisions from an emotional place rarely ends well. Much better to get through the hardest of the emotional processing so that you're thinking clearly when you get to the financial. So, while from the outside, it looks like nothings being accomplished, really, work is being done.... just not the type of work you see. I think this is especially true for amicable splits.

(That said, I have a close friend who is divorcing. It isn't amicable, it's more like OJ Simpson stalker-style split and it feels painfully and scarily slow from my perspective, so I totally get where you're coming from.)
 
Thanks PinkPig. And realistically, I completely get that. This is HUGE thing for them and will definitely take some processing. I guess I'm just struggling with some of the stuff where even if it's not splitting finances, stuff like "what if we just do a better job of who is spending what" still seems like it's smart. And it's easy. It takes 10 minutes to apply for a credit card.

Of course, that's all just brain logic. I'm sure from an emotional stance part of it is.... once you take that first step, things are in motion, and suddenly it's real and it's not just talk. This is why I know that this issue with their pace is my thing to deal with, and it's why I felt bad even really venting at Sudo. I just kinda hit that point where it was just... thought/frustration spewing. I figure I will go back to just backing off, being supportive, etc. and I need to make a better effort to keep my trap shut. sigh.
 
Just a voice of sympathy on the "separating is painfully slow" issue...

When my best friend D decided to leave her husband, I kicked into gear, all ready to do whatever she needed me to do. And... Nothing happened. It was over a year of her sleeping in the guest room and mostly ignoring the soon-to-be-ex before she FINALLY started looking for a job and a house. Drove me insane. Especially being over there every day and making small talk with her husband :rolleyes:

I think facing the reality of a split and the practical aspects of it is just overwhelming in a lot of cases. And sometimes making the decision to split is so completely exhausting that there isn't energy for that stuff right away. But I hear you on how frustrating it is to watch.

I hope everything works out well for Peach and Sudo (and you, of course!) even if it takes a while :)
 
Things have been good since my last post (well, minus attending a funeral for my er, grand-uncle? grandmother's brother. I used to see him about twice a year at family reunions but he always brought his banjo and would sit around and play and that generation would sing, etc. Apparently he was battling cancer but that leg of the family are fairly private and didn't tell much of the rest of the family). So yeah, anyway, we had a nice celebration of life service and then I spent the rest of the weekend with Sudo. Well, he spent it with me since we had the weekend at my place finally rather that me going to his place (doggies stayed at the sitter). First we went to dinner with RCT and his daughter before heading back into the city to my place on Fri night. But then Sat we grocery shopped and just had a lazy day around the house. It was soooo needed by both of us. Yesterday, Sudo had to go into the office for the morning to move servers from their current building to a new building (the company is moving offices down the street) and what was supposed to take a few hours took the full day and he wasn't home until dinner time. I spent the entire day gloriously naked and wore nothing except my cute apron, which I was wearing when he came home as I had started cooking a big batch of chili for during the week. He was wiped from a long day and frustrated with some work stuff, so I got started on our actual dinner (steaks and corn on the cob) while he called his dad for Father's Day. I had spent 1.5 hours on the phone with my own dad a bit earlier.

Of course, Sudo made himself a nice strong drink (a rather strong rum and coke in a full size water glass. lol) while he was sending out a work email after that.... but didn't think about the fact that he hadn't eaten all day, so by the time he drank almost all of that and then we ate dinner, he was adorably drunk. He basically made a bunch of cute faces and noises, folded over on the couch and passed out. So I laid down with him for a bit and just snuggled him, and eventually got up later to clear up all the dinner mess. By that time it was late enough to be my bed-time, but pretty early for him. I shuffled him off to bed anyway since I knew he needed it. Poor guy had so little sleep while he was on his work trip! We managed some lazy but still good sexy times, and as he always does when he's drunk, he mumbled lots of sickeningly adorable things like "I love you so much" and "I want to marry you" and "you can't go anywhere" etc. I, of course, told him that I was gonna keep him :)

I do find it a little saddening that it becomes pretty clear to me when he's in this state that he DOES worry that someday I'll leave him, or that he's not satisfying me, etc. But I think that he mostly realizes that those are just insecurities with no real basis. I would imagine the way things have been going with Peach might only emphasize those worries, but I've never been happier in a relationship than I've been with him. I know the longer we're together the more he'll see that... but at least I don't think they're dominating his thoughts. Just one of those things that creeps into his mind sometimes and he suddenly can't hold in to himself when I've gotten him all liquored up!

Anyway, busy week coming up. I'm seeing my friend Pi for dinner tonight, and then on Wed and Sat visiting with my old BFF, Ranger, from high school who's in town for the week visiting family. Mix in there my time with Sudo and I have a packed week! Oh, and then Friday, I'm off, so I'm hoping RCT move all of his larger furniture from his condo to storage and then other big items from Sudo and Peach's place to storage as well. I'm gonna need a vacation soon after this week I think!
 
Such a great week or so!

I was so happy to see my friend from high school! We did end up going sailing on Sat with his sister. It was just a small 17 foot sailboat that he actually built, so it has a sail and oars for rowing, but no on board motor. The stupid wind wasn't cooperating and wouldn't be consistent, and the chop and tide weren't in our favor, so after a few hours of sailing we really hadn't gone all that far and couldn't make it to the lighthouse that we were hoping to circle. But it was still fun to be out on the water talking, and we saw a few stingrays. I stripped down to my swimsuit pretty early on so that I could work on my tan, yay!

Later that day (early evening) and then again the next day I went with Sudo and Peach to their neighborhood pool and managed to add a little sunburn to my back, though it wasn't too bad. I stayed in the shade by the pool on Sunday so I wouldn't make it worse. But basically I had a fantastically relaxing weekend.

This week and upcoming weekend are going to be pretty easy/lazy. I'm hoping to take tomorrow or Thurs off work so I can spend a day with my brother before he leaves this weekend to start his hike of the Appalachian Trail, and then this weekend Sudo and I are going camping at a clothing optional campground for 4 days. It's so easy to pack when you don't have to pack any clothes! This place has both an outdoor and indoor pool and 2 hot tubs, plus a big cook-out type area and then the camping area. Plus, Peach is taking their dogs with her down to Joe's that weekend, so we don't even have to take the dogs camping with us and worry about keeping them tied up/penned or walking them all the time, etc. Yay! The only thing I'm a bit worried about is getting too much sun exposure on my recent surgical scars, since that can darken them. So I'm not sure yet if I'll actually lay out nekkid or if I'll keep a swim suit on. If I do, I'll certainly be the only one, which will feel really weird.

As the cherry on top, I'll be seeing Mr. Hyde this Thurs night before the camping trip, so I can get used and abused (consensually, of course) and then go relax for 4 days. Woo hoo!!
 
Why do I have to be back at work today?!?!

Seriously though, I really wish Sudo had told me he was taking today off and I'd have taken off as well so that he wouldn't just be hanging out at my place all day by himself! Apparently, he thought he told me.... Ah well. A work friend made vegan chocolate cupcakes as a test batch for a work event on Thurs where her group are all bringing in chocolate related things. It was soooo good! Just tasted like any other super moist, yummy, chocolate cupcake.

Anyway, not sure that I have anything too crazy to report. I took wed off last week and spent it with my brother just hanging out at his place. We did go grocery shopping to get his hiking food for the first 8 day leg of his Appalachian trail hike. 3,000 calories a day is already a lot, but when you have to carry your food in a pack it means that hikers try to make sure that on average they're getting over 100 calories per ounce of food to keep the weight down in their packs. Do you know what sorts of food pack 100+ calories in an ounce? Ramen, candy (chocolate), hunny buns, weird homemade breakfast shakes that use oats, carnation instant breakfast mix, etc., some trail mix, Cheese and crackers. Basically, JUNK! But I guess when you have to eat 3,000 calories a day, and probably more like 4,000 once he really gets into his hike, you really do need all those carbs! So he drove up to Maine with his wife, our mom, and my SIL's dad. They all camped Sat night, then my bro and SIL hiked the summit of Mt. Katahdin where the trail starts and then hiked back down, camped for the night, and the my brother started off on the next leg on his own while the rest of them drove back down. I'll be excited to hear how this first stretch goes. It will be 6-10 days before he gets to another town/civilization. He's planning for 7 but packed food for 8. So this will be the test to see if he loves it and wants to press on with the rest of the hike, or if he hates it and the through-hike is off! I really hope that it ends up being everything he wanted it to be, since it's been a dream of his for about 2 years. And if he does stick it out, I'm glad I got to spend a day with him before he left for his trip!

After our hang-out day on Wed, I went home on Thursday (worked from home) and had date night with Mr. Hyde. I was worried that it might be cancelled at first since he apparently was having an off day. I think he and his wife are still working through things on the poly front in that occasionally each of them will have something trigger a pretty strong reaction. But I think a huge part of that has to do with the D/s dynamic of their relationship. It leads to a lot more possessiveness when the relationship already has an embedded feeling of consensual "ownership" in a sense. Anyway, I was really happy that his thoughts on the matter were that he shouldn't cancel his date and should try as best he could to proceed as normal in an attempt to not reinforce any of his negative feelings and just let them work themselves out. So yay for people taking a reasonable stance on how to handle negative feels! I read way too many stories about one person having a negative reaction and instead of owning and managing their feelings, they just react in a extreme way with stupid stuff like veto, etc. Otherwise, we had our usual fantastic sexy times and also went out for a drink in between sexy time sessions before it got late enough for him to head home.

Recent discussions have pretty much made it clear that I don't really see overnights happening right now, and seeing each other 2-3 times a month is the expectation. So I guess this is what everyone talks about when they're in non-escalator relationships! It kinda feels weird to know that it might not go any further. I mean, I kinda wish it could, though not much further. The occasional overnight would be nice. But I get the obligation with young kids and that sort of thing. I'm still having fun and just enjoying our time and dynamic, so I'm happy to have what it is anyway. I think the only reason I'd like just a little more is the convenience factor of having longer dates so we can do more things together.

After that, the rest of the weekend was spent with Sudo at a clothing optional campground that we both enjoy. It's not some crazy kink thing since it's family friendly. More like going to a nudist town! But in addition to the camp grounds they have a few short trails, an indoor and an outdoor pool and 2 large hot tubs, tennis courts, a barn for evening dances, etc. So I guess it's sorta like glamping. I managed to get too much sun on all my bits and parts that don't normally see the sun, so I'm sporting a rather tender pink butt and boobs at the moment, but my tan lines are gone, sooooo I guess it's about all I can expect. I burn sooooo easily, even with sun screen, it was kinda inevitable. Hi skin cancer! :eek: But all in all, it was a really nice and relaxing weekend and I just wish it wasn't over!

Bonus is that Peach is at Joe's until Wed and has the dogs with her, so Sudo was able to stay at my place last night and again tonight. *spoiled*
 
Oh my. Mr. Hyde was in the mood to push me a bit more during our get together last night, and now I have a sore butt from all the impact play! Butt (see what I did there?!), he did once again demonstrate how amazing he is at just reading my body language and knowing how far he can push me since he backed down right as I was contemplating needing to throw out a yellow or red call (or whatever weird noises one can muster when gagged that he would know meant I needed a break. lol).

Really though, the nicest thing about the whole evening was that for once we finally were able to get together earlier in the evening, so we even went out to dinner and then ended the night a bit earlier so that we weren't both up way past our bedtimes on a work night! Other than the first date that we went on, which was dinner and drinks and a super hot grope/kiss to end the night, our schedules have just been that we're just getting together for a few hours around 9pm, so it's mostly just a long play session. Or sometimes we take a break and walk to a nearby bar for a drink and to chat. So I'm definitely glad that we were able to do something a bit more date-like. Realistically I know that our relationship is more one of D/s play partners and not a traditional b/f and g/f type deal, but I still care about more than just sex. I know that he does too, but at the same time, I also know that he and his wife at this point are only really comfortable with having partners that they go out on play-dates with a few times a month. Given the crazy schedules and kid commitments, and on top of that over a decade of a pretty serious D/s dynamic that also probably lends itself to a certain amount of possessiveness on both sides, I can't say I blame them. But I'm still pleased about the dinner date! We're gonna have to re-talk schedules though since the rest of the summer is wonky with us both having various trips planned, and then once the semester starts he's on a different teaching schedule so we'll have to pick a new night that isn't Thursdays. I'm thinking now it might be Wednesdays, but I'll know more later. Though if it's Wed I really do hope that we stick to something just a tad earlier since I'll never be able to line that up with my every other Friday off at work to make a late night easier!

In other news, Sudo told me that Peach is finally slowly coming to grips with the fact that she needs to reign in her spending. Apparently she's going to go back to her natural hair color since she recognizes that she spends a crap ton of money getting her hair dyed and cut on a regular basis. She's also been better about trying not to spend a bunch of money on clothes, or if she does need something, to find a decent deal, etc. It's gonna take more than that... but it's a start. He was also going to set up credit card alerts to try and keep her better informed throughout the month of spending, etc. So we'll see. It certainly made me happy to hear that there's at least a nominal amount of progress happening.

Peach is spending the weekend at Joe's since this is his last weekend for a while without Bug, and I think also his last weekend for a while where he's off the whole weekend. So since we'll finally have a bit more privacy at the house, I'm going to make a better effort for us to get our kink on! Especially since I think that insecure part of his brain has maybe been making him worry that our lack of exploring and doing more of the kink that we used to was some sort of indication that I was becoming less interested, or something like that. I have no idea if that's the case or not, but I do know that we recently talked about some stuff and he mentioned that we haven't done that much recently (though it was also in the context of our schedules being busy as well).

The reason this came up is because I asked him about what is feelings were when he messages me "I miss you." That probably sound stupid, but I asked because he says it often enough when we're not together that without being able to read any tone into a message, my read on it is that is sounds very sad, like he's actually really hurting (what can I say, my guy's a sensitive giant!). But maybe he was just saying it casually and lightly and I was reading more into it than I needed? I dunno, I was just kinda feeling bad because of course he misses me during the times where we might actually have a few days in a row where we don't see each other. I miss him too then! But sometimes I get an "I miss you" even the morning after when I just left his place the night before. And that's not to say that I don't love spending as much time with Sudo as I can, but knowing that things are so different between him and Peach, I dunno if maybe going from being all cuddly and lovey with me, to then being home either by himself or with Peach where they cohabitate, but are basically just roomies but have a history of knowing what used to be.... maybe that just makes some of those feelings more acute? Ugh, I dunno. Sudo is shit at talking about his feelings. He never seems to be able to put them into words and trying to get a handle on how he feels many times is like pulling teeth, so I'm totally guessing here! And really, there's not much I can do about it no matter which way he's feeling when he says "I miss you" but I was at least hoping to get a better sense of how he feels so that I can better respond and know if I can send back something light or a simple heart emoji, or if he's hurting and I can respond with a bit more support. Sigh. Men. haha!

OMG, something else amazing... well, to me at least. OK, so Sudo is a furry giant. He has lots of light, kinda blondeish redish fur on his chest/belly (luckily, not really on his back and he has the smoothest cutest little butt!). Anyway, I'm always teasing him when he's trimming me, or if I'm trimming him that I'm going to take a swipe at his chest hair with the trimmer! I mean, I always have fun running my fingers through his fur when we're cuddling, but seriously, if I'm just having some fun kissing him all over, or engaging in some nipple play, getting a stray hair in the mouth is obnoxious! BUT, he never wanted to try just trimming it down because he didn't want to be all itchy and stuff. Well the other night when he came to my place he surprised me and he'd trimmed it! It wasn't so short that he didn't seem to be itchy, but given the curliness of his fur, it just made him look so much more... manscaped? I LOVED IT! haha. The whole thing just sounds kinda stupid, but this is the guy who is THE WORST at giving gifts, planning romantic things, celebrating important milestones, etc. So to me, for him to just do this on a whim as a surprise when it's something he knew I would just totally be excited about was awesome! Don't get me wrong, I shant get my hopes up that he's totally turned over a new leaf and this thing of surprise gestures will be a new trend, but I still just love him so much and was just happy happy happy that he surprised me. (It's the little things in life!) So, extra rewards this weekend. I think I'll refuse to allow him to wear a shirt all weekend. Or maybe any clothes at all ;)
 
Manscaping is awesome. Both my guys do it. An unmanscaped man is quite the shock to me these days. :D
 
Fortunately for me he's always manscaped the truly important bits!! It's just the chest hair that was always untouched. If he wasn't taming the jungle down below I definitely would have ended up having a more serious convo about it pretty early on in dating!

I'm a firm believer that it's your body, so groom it in whatever style you want, but if you want my mouth there I'm still going to have a strong opinion about it! Lol. But I'm also OK with just trimming, which is way faster and easier than actually shaving!
 
Why was I responding to a post comment at 2:30 in the morning last night? Because that's when I woke up in the middle of the night with really uncomfortable heartburn! What the heck?! I realize lots of people get heartburn but I've had it like maybe a handful of times in my whole life, and all I had had earlier in the evening was a baked chicken breast and a diet soda (soda was had way early in the evening when I first got home from work). Where did that even come from?! Anyway, I dug around my medicine stash and managed to magically find a very small roll of Tums and ate a few and then propped up some pillows so that I could go back to sleep on an incline to that I wouldn't have to feel like I was choking on stomach acid. On top of that, I tweaked my neck 3 night ago doing.... NOTHING! I guess I just slept on it wrong? But basically it's taking forever to go back to normal. Needless to say my body appears to be revolting. Is this what happens, you turn 30 and things just go to shit? LOL!

At least I can still kinda laugh about it. This morning I actually got dressed and put on a new skirt I'd just bought and while I was waiting for the metro to get to work, I discovered the skirt had pockets! So I made a FB post about how today was obviously going to be a good day. And then I promptly got on the wrong train and ended up having to backtrack a stop, then turn around and go back the other direction again to get to work. I'm thinking I jinxed myself! But the pockets are still there, so I'm still pleased. Plus, I'm the type to continually forget when a dress or skirt does have pockets, so half the time I end up re-discovering them the next several times I wear that piece of clothing, sooooo.... bonus? Haha. I think I've said it on here before, but it's nice to be able to get so happy over the little things in life. Actually, I'm not even so sure why I love pockets in dresses and skirts so much since I don't even really USE them. I just do!

Ok, that's enough weirdness for one day I think. Back to work!
 
Nothing too crazy to report. Sudo is off on a work trip until Friday and Peach has been on a family vacation with Joe (and his family) since last Thurs night and won't be back till Sunday. Sudo's flight was supposed to be Monday night but got delayed, so at least he got to spend an extra night with me!

It was maybe not the best time to bring it up since I think he doesn't like to have to think about more stressful stuff when he already has to be away from me for days at a time, but I did mention to him that I'd been chatting with a friend online about a MMF possibility. It's someone that I started talking to on OKC over a year ago and we've basically become online buddles but just never really got to the point of meeting up or dating. I helped him to be more comfortable with his kinks by just talking things out and helping him not think of himself as a freak, or at least embrace his freak flag, etc. which felt really cool! But he enjoys threesomes with other guys, so worth exploring to fulfill a fantasy bucket list item. Buuuuuuutttt, Sudo isn't exactly thrilled. Yet once again in the moment is unable to identify what bothers him. Frankly, I think he's just such a pleaser that he feels guilty that HE can't be the one to please me in this way, which probably makes him feel in adequate. Even though I stress to him that in no way do I find him inadequate. Anyway, I mentioned that we don't have to hash out the details now, but that I DO expect him to actually spend some time eventually really thinking about exactly WHAT about dating others and doing the MMF and stuff like that bothers him. Then if we know it's just insecurities, I'll provide whatever level of assurances and love that helps him but ultimately still do my thing and he will know he needs to handle his emotions. But if he can actually identify something freaking useful that CAN be changed, we'll discuss that too. And if he continues to just say "it bothers me but I don't really know why" then it will just go into that bucket where I say "I'm sorry that you're struggling with this, I love you and nothing will change that, but I'm making these plans." I already know that he'll be accepting of that even if he doesn't like it. And once the event has passed and he's able to reconnect with me, he'll be fine like he always is. Just.... sigh. Frustrating.

Anyway, still something that I consider to be a rather small bump in the road since I know that we both respect each other's ability to be poly and have other relationships and stuff. I'm thinking that maybe the state of things with him and Peach just makes it a bit harder for him. I can sympathize, but I also still want to be able to live my life.... something I would want him to do if the situation was reversed. I feel like this is something I've blogged about several times now and goes nowhere, so I'm kinda at the point where I'm asking if there's anything I can do to make things easier, but otherwise moving on and doing my thing (as long as we're all on board from the sexual health, use of protection, etc. stance).
 
Things have been good since my last post. I do feel like a hint of progress was made with Sudo in terms of his anxiety with me dating Mr. Hyde. Not that his anxiety got any better. Maybe even the opposite? He was gone on a work trip and got back Friday and was at my place when I got home. I had seen Mr. Hyde the night before. So when I got home, Sudo had been trying to nap to catch up on sleep and we cuddled and had sex, but at one point he just held me and said he'd missed me soooo much and actually got upset, like tears upset. He's a sensitive dude, but not a huge crier, so I was definitely caught off guard. But the "I missed you so much" statement was so closely followed by him saying that he doesn't understand why me being with Mr. Hyde bothers him so much and that he doesn't want it to just made it clear that yeah, he misses me any time he can't see me, but the pain of missing me seems to be magnified many times over when me seeing Mr. Hyde is added on top of that. Anyway, it led to a good conversation, since he didn't have these issues back when I dated Pi. It seems like my D/s dynamic with Mr. Hyde is definitely the culprit. I suggested that maybe he should consider one of the local poly discussion groups to be able to talk things out with other poly/kinky people and see if there are others who have been there/done that and get some perspective? I dunno if it will happen or not, but I just encouraged him that he can talk to me about this stuff and that I'm not mad at him for struggling with his feelings and that it's ok. The last thing I want is for him to feel incredibly guilty about even being upset and just adding to the stress. So I think it helped him to be able to talk about things a bit more. I need to get my shit in gear too and be taking the lead on us doing more D/s stuff as well, since I think that would actually help too. I think he's not really getting to do as much of that as he'd like, but then knows I'm getting to do all that stuff with Mr. Hyde so that probably also makes him sad.

Anyway, it sounds like a huge downer, but it was actually a really short period of time in our evening, and once we had a quick, loving conversation about it we moved on to talking about other things and the mood lightened way up and we were both happy again. We eventually crawled out of bed and went out for a late dinner.

Saturday was my bi-annual family reunion. My mom's cousin has hosted for the past few summers since they have a great house near a river, and now this year they installed a big in-ground pool, complete with full outdoor bar and hot-tub. Sudo came along and met a whole bunch of family and then we swam and just had a fun time. I was storming on and off the whole day, but it managed to clear up enough during times to still just be a wonderful event. Afterwards, we dropped my electric piano off at my mom's since I never play anymore and she can use it to pick out tunes and chords when she's practicing choir music. It also cleared up space in my bedroom so now I'm strongly considering getting a snake again and putting a cage set-up in that space.

Sunday we then dropped off a few hundred books at a local used book store where I got a store credit (and cleared out enough books to hopefully get rid of one huge book shelf in my room.... more space and "stuff" being gotten rid of!). After that, we went to the pool with RCT and his daughter, Lizzy. Basically, another fun day!

Later in the evening Peach finally got home from her 9 day trip with Joe. We all caught up and she talked about progress her and Joe are making in terms of discussing living arrangements. She has tentatively set a date of moving in early Jan, right around my birthday. I have no idea how that's going to work since Dec is a crazy busy work month for her and Sudo and they have a huge work trip the first week in Jan, so she's wanting to move basically right after they return from that. We'll see! In the meantime Sudo, RCT, and I have started talking house stuff again. We actually saw a listing on Zillow yesterday that apparently JUST went on the market. We loved it and it's right up the street from where I am now. We were actually seriously debating whether it was worth trying to see it and figure out if we wanted to scramble to figure out if putting together an offer was possible in such a short amount of time, but I don't know if that's actually realistic. It would mean Peach moving with us to the new place until she eventually moves with Joe in Jan, and she probably really won't want to do that. Plus, it would just be a lot of scrambling in terms of everyone gathering funds, needing to meet with an accountant to figure out the best way to do all the legal paperwork for 3 owners, none of whom are married to each other, etc. On top of that, we all are hitting rather busy points with work and such. So while we probably could make it work if we *HAD* to, I'm not sure that it's worth the hassle. Dunno. Something to ponder.

Oh, and I didn't really talk about my thurs with Mr. Hyde, but obviously it was fantastic as always. He rocked my socks, and then that night and the next day we even had productive conversation about just checking in to see that we're both happy with where things are (and where we want to go, especially in terms of the D/s dynamic and how intense do we wanna get). And we also started a dialogue to try and clear up exactly what it means for me to be exclusive with him in terms of having a Dom. I've already agreed not to have another Dom, but wanted to clarify what that means if I ever wanted to play with someone else. Can I play with Dom but only have him top me and just not become "his" and would I have to ask permission? Can I just play with other tops but not play with other Doms at all? etc. We never really even discussed what it means exactly, and with me being poly, he doesn't want to place crazy restrictions on my ability to be with others. I don't mind some rules, or even asking permission about certain things, but I told him we just need to negotiate it. What he initially proposed was really tame, I think way tamer than what he would ask for if I wasn't poly, so I told him to go ahead and think about what he *really* wants, and feel free to propose his desired rules/restrictions if he didn't have to worry about anything else. I'm sure I won't agree with it all, but it will give us a starting point for negotiations so that we can then find a comfortable middle ground. I just didn't want him to settle for less than I was willing to give just because he didn't think he could/should ask for more! Of course, he already knows that no rules can impact my relationship with Sudo, so that's a given. This really has more to do with any additional play partners. And even then, I think he cares less about restricting what I can do (ouside of taking on another Dom) and more likes the idea of me having to ask permission and things like that. The control would definitely put a smile on his face :D
 
*Squee* Craziness all happening since yesterday!

I was looking online on Craigslist last night at reptile cages and actually saw and ad for a custom built LARGE cage, but it even came with a very pretty corn snake, which is one of the types I was considering getting! The guy just doesn't give the snake the love and attention that it deserves anymore. I emailed him and got a response, and sent him back another response to ask a few more questions. Depending on price and timing, I might jump on this! Though I'm out of town this weekend, so it would be next weekend before I could do any sort of pick-up. Yay! Sudo just gives me looks since he doesn't understand the appeal of a pet snake, but he said "I know it makes you happy, so yay!" LOL. Hope he doesn't mind that I'll be keeping mice in the freezer.

The other major thing is that we're going to look at the house up the street TONIGHT! RCT sent a message yesterday morning and was like "so are we doing this or what?" and we decided that it can't hurt to at least look. So I went on redfin.com and contacted an agent and got a showing set up. If Sudo and I are blown away, we'll let RCT know and he can try to see it tomorrow, and then if he loves it we can talk about what we want to do and then talk to Peach. If we don't love it, then we drop it and will go back to assuming a longer timeline but probably still casually browse Zillow and such. But if nothing else I think we will sooner rather than later sit down to make a final decision regarding whether RCT will rent vs. own, etc.

Sadly, Sudo appears to be sick? His back was hurting last night, then this morning he woke up with everything feeling sore and just looking like shit and feeling bad (so Peach said). So he rode into the city with Peach to the office but just went straight to my place since he was going to be staying tonight and tomorrow night with me anyway. So hopefully he's sleeping it off now. We're making this house showing even if he's on his death bed :p I swear though, he gets over anything in a day or 2, so he should be fine. The question is, will I catch whatever it is and feel like death warmed over for 2-3 weeks....
 
Yay! Snakes are great. We have a green tree boa that is super cool. It only eats live mice though, so I like it a little bit less for that reason. :)
 
Pretty!

I used to have a California king snake. I got her when I was really young and didn't know as much about snake care, so I just assumed everyone did live feeding. I would buy several mice and breed them so that I had my own food supply. Years later, I got wiser and started feeding her pre-killed, which was safer, and better as she got older, but I wish I'd known from the start! Keeping a bunch of mice isn't the best smelling (we kept the cage in sort of a part outdoor breezeway at least).

If things go through with this new one I'll have to ask to make sure he feeds the snake pre-killed since that's what I want!
 
OMG, OMG, OMG! Deal reached! I should be picking Leonidas up one day after work next week! I wish I could get him sooner, but with me being gone all this weekend I didn't want to pick him up and then be gone in case there are any issues.
 
Yay!! Snakes are great!

Wishing you many happy nose-boops!

Actually I used to have two ball pythons I kept for a friend, for a few years. I explain to people who have never understood their appeal as pets, that I found them to be rather like pretty, fancy fish...only you can take them out and handle them. Snakes don't have quite the character of cats or dogs, in my opinion, but they are cool to have around.

I always wished I had the means to create a prettier enclosure than what I had for those two, they are beautiful and I wish they'd had more than just a fairly plain aquarium to live in. Mine ate frozen/thawed mice and rats, too. One of them got to be just over 5 feet long, which I'm told is fairly large for a ball python.
 
Yeah, the one we have is DEFINITELY not a handling sort of snake. We drop in the live mice and shut the aquarium in a hurry! It's just a really beautiful reptile. 🙂
 
Bluebird, what kind of snake do you guys have? Do you want it to be a kind of snake you can handle? I used to always put the mice in my snake's change but a friend who has a python actually puts her snake in a different container at feeding time. I've read this online now as well. I guess it helps the snake to not associate the lid of the cage opening with food, so less likely to bite? Just a thought if you ever want to ease the snake into being handled!
 
It's a green tree boa. It belongs to PunkRockAwesomesauce. He is a huge reptile buff. He used to own more, over the years. This is his last snake. We've talked about having more but DarkKnight is uh, not a fan. Lol Our tank has a front opening and Greentooth (a kid from our homeschool co-op named him) only eats once every couple of weeks. We open the tank other times - to spray him down, to refill his water bowl, to remove his droppings or his snakeskin.
 
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