elliekay83
New member
Note: Since I don't know how to start a blog, here. Maybe I am too new and not "trustworthy" LOL, I don't have access to those options so I will try to summarise my expectations/dreams here. I will entertain you with my nativity and dummy-ness (LOL)...Sorry for my bad English, too!
Enjoy!
"THE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS" LANE
I want to explore this so much!
Having someone, a male friend, with who you can explore your sensuality and find answers, while being close, but not 101% attached as romantic partners. Not "exclusive" for one another. Someone with who we can talk, watch movies, make him feel safe and comfy and he does the same for me. Someone who is not in a rush for sex, but allows it to happen gently the first time. Someone who is open-minded, and a bit wide eyes-opened about the world and the absurd that surrounds us, and limits us.
Someone to spend the day with, or the evening. The sleepover part that reads a lot is not on the table. At least not a few days, every week. Maybe two nights a month. With that schedule, he will be free to have a night out and have fun with others... which I prefer not to know about. Call me old-fashioned, cowardly or whatever, but I really prefer not to hear him saying "It was amazing, stunning, we related so deeply!". I prefer not to know, and believe me my imagination will run wild enough, so I don't need the details. It's his experience and I don't have any role in it or need to know, more than it's needed.
Such a relationship won't last long, I guess, but I will treasure the experience and the memories from it. Would be great if we stay friends.
THE HAPPY THREE-WAY HOUSE
The other poly-dream is about me living with two men, as a household. It's really daring and sounds really "bumpy" when you stop and think about it. That will never happen in this life... I guess. My husband won't feel comfortable, and he matters to me (of course). But imagine it is fun! Being with two men that you love in different ways, but with the same intensity, must be great. Also, like a little poly-commune, everyone contributes, and everyone loves to be part of it (dream on).
Not sure about the threesomes, but I would really appreciate having all the love and desire I need to get and give. All in one place. A happy polygamous family-like household...Mmm!
WHY PAN?
I want/need to meet a pansexual man, for many reasons. The main is - that if he is covering the "pansexual" definition's core meaning, he should be open-minded. I hope not to be addicted to beauty stereotypes. I am not a beauty. I have some annoying physical flaws, some of which can hide (in a funny way), some of which I can't. So, he must be open to non-traditionally looking partners.
I will say it! I will dare to say it: I really don't thrust straight men, a lot, even when they are experimenting. The curiosity ends when it's fed up with answers, for most people (especially straight). Sorry, if I sound biased, but this is my experience and observation. You can try to prove me wrong, but... I doubt that!
The answers that I need can only open the door for more questions and the need for further exploration...why not forever?
So, this is how I imagine it, roughly. I know it's too poly-utopian and naive, and that reality is way more harsh and horrible, but sometimes we need to escape it. Thank you for reading it! Don't be too harsh! (I am harsh towards myself enough LOL!)
Enjoy!
"THE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS" LANE
I want to explore this so much!
Having someone, a male friend, with who you can explore your sensuality and find answers, while being close, but not 101% attached as romantic partners. Not "exclusive" for one another. Someone with who we can talk, watch movies, make him feel safe and comfy and he does the same for me. Someone who is not in a rush for sex, but allows it to happen gently the first time. Someone who is open-minded, and a bit wide eyes-opened about the world and the absurd that surrounds us, and limits us.
Someone to spend the day with, or the evening. The sleepover part that reads a lot is not on the table. At least not a few days, every week. Maybe two nights a month. With that schedule, he will be free to have a night out and have fun with others... which I prefer not to know about. Call me old-fashioned, cowardly or whatever, but I really prefer not to hear him saying "It was amazing, stunning, we related so deeply!". I prefer not to know, and believe me my imagination will run wild enough, so I don't need the details. It's his experience and I don't have any role in it or need to know, more than it's needed.
Such a relationship won't last long, I guess, but I will treasure the experience and the memories from it. Would be great if we stay friends.
THE HAPPY THREE-WAY HOUSE
The other poly-dream is about me living with two men, as a household. It's really daring and sounds really "bumpy" when you stop and think about it. That will never happen in this life... I guess. My husband won't feel comfortable, and he matters to me (of course). But imagine it is fun! Being with two men that you love in different ways, but with the same intensity, must be great. Also, like a little poly-commune, everyone contributes, and everyone loves to be part of it (dream on).
Not sure about the threesomes, but I would really appreciate having all the love and desire I need to get and give. All in one place. A happy polygamous family-like household...Mmm!
WHY PAN?
I want/need to meet a pansexual man, for many reasons. The main is - that if he is covering the "pansexual" definition's core meaning, he should be open-minded. I hope not to be addicted to beauty stereotypes. I am not a beauty. I have some annoying physical flaws, some of which can hide (in a funny way), some of which I can't. So, he must be open to non-traditionally looking partners.
I will say it! I will dare to say it: I really don't thrust straight men, a lot, even when they are experimenting. The curiosity ends when it's fed up with answers, for most people (especially straight). Sorry, if I sound biased, but this is my experience and observation. You can try to prove me wrong, but... I doubt that!
The answers that I need can only open the door for more questions and the need for further exploration...why not forever?
So, this is how I imagine it, roughly. I know it's too poly-utopian and naive, and that reality is way more harsh and horrible, but sometimes we need to escape it. Thank you for reading it! Don't be too harsh! (I am harsh towards myself enough LOL!)
