husband feels he is poly, I am mono

What will you do if your husband practices poly against your wishes? Won't you have to divorce him in that case?
 
Yes, at that that point we would be divorcing. He has already broken trust in the past by emailing other women while we were dating and after we got married. This is essentially our last chance at working things out.
 
Is he sincere about wanting to turn over a new leaf? I hope he's not secretly thinking you'll "turn poly" if he strings you along long enough. :(
 
Well that's hopeful. I suppose we'll have to see what happens.
 
Thornedlove said:
We are trying to work through a marriage therapy workbook as we don't have time for counseling right now.
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I will call "bullshit" on not having time. He seems to think he will have time to date, he has time to go to couples counseling. You say you don't want a divorce (but don't want him exploring his poly tendencies and he has a history of cheating) so you need to MAKE the time for counseling. Saying you don't have the time is just and excuse not to go. Speaking as someone who's husband has repeatedly had online affairs and tried to stop, a workbook won't do it.
 
SNeacail said:
I will call "bullshit" on not having time. He seems to think he will have time to date, he has time to go to couples counseling. You say you don't want a divorce (but don't want him exploring his poly tendencies and he has a history of cheating) so you need to MAKE the time for counseling. Saying you don't have the time is just and excuse not to go. Speaking as someone who's husband has repeatedly had online affairs and tried to stop, a workbook won't do it.
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It's really hard to get into counseling when one has an infant... but I hope they can manage it!
 
nycindie said:
Yeah, but the point is, if he doesn't have to for therapy or counseling, how would he magically have time to date or fuck someone else?
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This. "I don't have time..." or "I don't have money for..." (Which I faced with my partner), is actually code for "I'm not willing to prioritise this".

Therapy is a LOT cheaper and less time consuming than an acrimonious divorce.
 
Magdlyn said:
It's really hard to get into counseling when one has an infant
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I missed the whole infant thing. So he has time to explore poly and dating with an infant in the house? WTF? Is he going for the shit ass partner and the absentee dad award?

PS. I'm a big supporter of poly and being true to one's self, when the existing relationship is in good working order. Its okay to admit/acknowledge a poly nature, but also realize that existing responsibilities take precedence.
 
SNeacail said:
I missed the whole infant thing. So he has time to explore poly and dating with an infant in the house? WTF? Is he going for the shit ass partner and the absentee dad award?

PS. I'm a big supporter of poly and being true to one's self, when the existing relationship is in good working order. Its okay to admit/acknowledge a poly nature, but also realize that existing responsibilities take precedence.
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Yes, the whole beginning of the thread was about the ethics of him starting to date others when his child is so young. The OP's second sentence is, "My husband and I have been married for about 5 years and have a 5 month old son."
 
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