I am confused by your last post, Ravenscroft. I have the feeling that you are missing Dingedheart's point, for some reason. Your responses don't seem to be answering his questions, or maybe I am just not understanding what you've said here.
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I have a feeling he didn't miss point of that question at all. He didn't want to answer it. Just like he didn't answer you just quoting Jane in her V dynamic .
Jane : I forgot to tell you I was flattered to make your " to do " list
Ravencroft : Thanks you clearing that up for everyone.....clear as mud.
There's a slightly vast difference between "intention" & "assumption" -- bloody obvious, nicht wahr? IME, lots of people leap into poly assuming that because they WANT equality, then it's a done deal. Kinda like the widespread assumption that, because polyamory requires thoroughgoing communication in order to work, claiming to be poly means they're suddenly GREAT communicators.
[All the triads I've seen / had contact with have the stated goal of equality going in.
There's a slightly vast difference between "intention" & "assumption" -- bloody obvious, nicht wahr? IME, lots of people leap into poly assuming that because they WANT equality, then it's a done deal. Kinda like the widespread assumption that, because polyamory requires thoroughgoing communication in order to work, claiming to be poly means they're suddenly GREAT communicators.
Slightly vast......slightly means small ...vast large ....which do you mean ?
I agree there is a difference between intention and assumption. But that doesn't sound like that was the issue in your case ....unless you let him assume he'd be equal and you had no " intention " granting equality with out lots of blood sweat and tears. Every 3 yrs it can be brought up to the membership committee. I liked the slipping of the Germany phrase ...it really help make the point
. Nicht wahr
I'm confused as how you can make such an insulting/ disparaging remark about your poly brothers and sisters " leaping " into poly for whatever reasons and making a blanket statement about the greater poly community's communication skills. From what I know those triads work very hard on their collective intention of equality and the reality of their actions which I guess is the litmus test.
If I have a chance to talk with any of them I'll direct them to this thread and also ask if there assumptions of equality ...or lack of ...played a huge role in their day to day interactions.
" And it wasn't stated what earned equality actually means."
A few words back, you sorta said that you were capable of defining "equality," something that's been (inevitably) lacking in this discussion. And when equality is a goal (as you said), is it to be earned from shared experience, or does it just magically happen?
I wasn't defining equality I was throwing out questions or topics.
And here instead of answering the question how it was in your triad you ask the question ...." Is it to be earned form shared experience or does it just magically happen ?" I think you're hinting at some sort of of shared experience .....to be reviewed at the membership committee on the 3 Sunday of the 3rd month of the third yr. see what I did there
...( triade German spelling) ... I know it's kind of a let down.
Are you saying in triad fairness is relative ??
You just said that equality (whatever THAT is) is a very common stated goal. You should be the one to explain: if it's a goal, then how does anyone know when it's been achieved?
Really ....
Me ....someone who's never been in a triad should answer the question is fairness relative.
OK ....I guess from your response and janes and WH yes fairness is relative.....slightly vastly relative.
And equality is relative too.
