I just need a safe place to say .... (random)

Random thing to share:

I can't link because it's to fetlife and ya'll have to have a profile there, which I know some of you do...but not all. So I'll just paraphrase the gist of the thing. A writing came up from one of the well known fet writers. It was about something called "Mexican Dinner Consent."

(EDIT: If you ARE a member and want to see the original writing, I'm sure you can use the search feature and find it easily.)

I love this concept.

So he says that he is not a huge fan of Mexican food. He might crave it maybe once a year. But his partner really likes it. So sometimes, she will be like, "honey I really really want Mexican dinner, can we go to the restaurant?" and he won't be thrilled, but he'll go along.

The idea applied to stuff in general, and sex in long term relationships in particular, is anything that fits the following criteria:

-Something you're not particularly OPPOSED to for any reason at that time.
-Something you're not wild about, like maybe you kinda had other plans for your evening.
-Something that you think you might be more enthusiastic about once you're actually there doing the thing.

Could be anything. She wants Mexican dinner, you want to go see a movie she's not wild about and don't want to go alone, or one of you is raring to go for sex and the other is kind of "meh" that night, but goes along and winds up enjoying things. The point of the article was to illustrate that in SOME situations, such as long term partnerships...if you wait until both of you have ENTHUSIASTIC "Hell to the Yes!" consent, then you're probably not going to have sex that often. And that is true, from my experience.

Sometimes it's just Mexican Dinner Consent, and sometimes that's alright.

Just sharing because I really like the term.
 
That's an awesome explanation!! Thank you for sharing!!

Spork said:
Random thing to share:

I can't link because it's to fetlife and ya'll have to have a profile there, which I know some of you do...but not all. So I'll just paraphrase the gist of the thing. A writing came up from one of the well known fet writers. It was about something called "Mexican Dinner Consent."

(EDIT: If you ARE a member and want to see the original writing, I'm sure you can use the search feature and find it easily.)

I love this concept.

So he says that he is not a huge fan of Mexican food. He might crave it maybe once a year. But his partner really likes it. So sometimes, she will be like, "honey I really really want Mexican dinner, can we go to the restaurant?" and he won't be thrilled, but he'll go along.

The idea applied to stuff in general, and sex in long term relationships in particular, is anything that fits the following criteria:

-Something you're not particularly OPPOSED to for any reason at that time.
-Something you're not wild about, like maybe you kinda had other plans for your evening.
-Something that you think you might be more enthusiastic about once you're actually there doing the thing.

Could be anything. She wants Mexican dinner, you want to go see a movie she's not wild about and don't want to go alone, or one of you is raring to go for sex and the other is kind of "meh" that night, but goes along and winds up enjoying things. The point of the article was to illustrate that in SOME situations, such as long term partnerships...if you wait until both of you have ENTHUSIASTIC "Hell to the Yes!" consent, then you're probably not going to have sex that often. And that is true, from my experience.

Sometimes it's just Mexican Dinner Consent, and sometimes that's alright.

Just sharing because I really like the term.
Click to expand...
 
I agree that "Mexican Dinner Consent" is not such a bad thing.
 
Spork said:
Random thing to share:

I can't link because it's to fetlife and ya'll have to have a profile there, which I know some of you do...but not all. So I'll just paraphrase the gist of the thing. A writing came up from one of the well known fet writers. It was about something called "Mexican Dinner Consent."

(EDIT: If you ARE a member and want to see the original writing, I'm sure you can use the search feature and find it easily.)

I love this concept.

So he says that he is not a huge fan of Mexican food. He might crave it maybe once a year. But his partner really likes it. So sometimes, she will be like, "honey I really really want Mexican dinner, can we go to the restaurant?" and he won't be thrilled, but he'll go along.

The idea applied to stuff in general, and sex in long term relationships in particular, is anything that fits the following criteria:

-Something you're not particularly OPPOSED to for any reason at that time.
-Something you're not wild about, like maybe you kinda had other plans for your evening.
-Something that you think you might be more enthusiastic about once you're actually there doing the thing.

Could be anything. She wants Mexican dinner, you want to go see a movie she's not wild about and don't want to go alone, or one of you is raring to go for sex and the other is kind of "meh" that night, but goes along and winds up enjoying things. The point of the article was to illustrate that in SOME situations, such as long term partnerships...if you wait until both of you have ENTHUSIASTIC "Hell to the Yes!" consent, then you're probably not going to have sex that often. And that is true, from my experience.

Sometimes it's just Mexican Dinner Consent, and sometimes that's alright.

Just sharing because I really like the term.
Click to expand...


MrS and I have discussed a similar concept - we used a 5 point Enthusiasm scale.

1.) I REALLY don't want to go - please don't make me.
2.) I don't want to go - but will if you REALLY want me to.
3.) Meh - don't care, don't have anything better to do.
4.) I want to go, but won't make you - I may or may not go without you.
5.) I REALLY want you to go with me - but I am going regardless.

But really, the only time it comes into play is when one of us is a 2 and the other is a 4. We already have an contingency for 1 and 5 - we can each "make" the other attend 3 events/year if we NEED them to (generally things like weddings/funerals/corporate events).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top