I know its just a garden variety affair, but...

I love this description, because I honestly felt like I was coming out of the closet. I had to tell Ned that I felt this way. I know it doesn`t match society`s norms, but it's how I feel.

Week one of being open and honest is kind of hurting Ned, because he is trying to accept it, but it's going so so so well. I feel like a part of me must have known he would accept this. This is why I want him as a life partner.
 
whatamIdoing said:
I understand where you are.

I love B with my heart and soul, but thankfully for us I could never lie to him. We were swingers before J came into our life. I was open and honest with B from day one about "wanting to do J." B always said go for it.

It was almost a joke, but then it started happening. J and I have developed a deep bond. We are friends. I have spent time alone with him with B's knowledge and consent. This is KILLING B. We have had discussion upon discussion about this, BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED LYING TO him.
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WhatamIdoing,

I want to direct your attention to your statement: "Bill always said go for it."

If Bill did not mean it, he should not have said it. Perhaps he needs to deal with the feelings and growth that comes with being poly.

I don't think you should waste energy feeling so bad for Bill, or let yourself be so manipulated by him with these guilt trips. Remember, he said, "GO FOR IT." So if I were in your position, I would take the advice, and go for it, and stop letting Bill manipulate the situation.

I apologize for getting off topic.
 
unwitty said:
I love this description because I honestly feel like I was coming out of the closet. I had to tell my fiance that I feel this way and I know it doesn`t match society`s norms, but its how I feel.

Week one of being open and honest is kind of hurting my fiance because he is trying to accept it, but its going so so so well. I feel like a part must of have known he would accept this and this is why I want him as a life partner.
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unwitty,

I am glad to hear you have chosen to be honest with Ned. I am wondering how well has Tom been informed about the polyamory situation going on. Are you being honest with both of them?
 
Olderwoman said:
WhatamIdoing,

I want to direct your attention to your statement: "Bill always said go for it.."

If he did not MEAN it, B should not have said it. Perhaps he needs to deal with the feelings and growth that comes with being poly.
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WhatamIdoing has a thread that explains Bill was fine with her swinging and she should go for it. PolyAMORY was not a part of their original agreement.
 
Tonberry said:
I disagree. In my opinion, a polyamorous relationship is consensual non-monogamy, yes. However, an individual being polyamorous just mean they have the ability to love more than one person at the same time. So cheating doesn't mean you are not polyamorous.
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You're dead-on with that critique. It's a view I share myself, being both single and poly. I was a little agitated when I wrote that. Thanks for the redirection.
 
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