Friends...
I am over the moon right now!
I just want to share a little story here.
--
My hubs and I have been poly for about 2 years, but we never really get luck in landing people. To be clear, we are each looking for separate V's... I am looking for a gf for me. He is looking for a gf for him.
We get close, we talk to girls and we sometimes get as far enough as telling them our poly situation, sometimes we dont.. Either way, it never really... goes.
We've been more active lately in this pursuit and I told a girl i used to have a crush on that I liked her and started a flirtation with her -- told her everything about how i am poly, etc. Only to have her really kind of just stringing me along, not really being clear if she wants to pursue anything or not... Shes essentially being nice but shutting me down, so here we go, dead end again.
BUT
I finally got tired of it.
Baring my soul to girls, being very upfront, TRYING, not even knowing if they may or may not be open to a poly relationship in the first place.
My hubs kept having the issue of this: girls dont believe him. There have been many times where he barely tries to initiate convos with women and they shut him down completely because hes married. Or, he might get as far as initial getting-to-know-yous, will tell them we are poly, they will not believe it.. Or if they do, they get cold feet. Regardless, despite me even having conversations with a couple of them to confirm that HE IS NOT LYING AND TRYING TO CHEAT ON ME, WE ARE INDEED POLY!
So. I was done. And heres what i did:
I'm friends with just about everybody i know on facebook. My friends, his, co-workers, family, etc.
I wrote a long post, an "outting" of sorts that WE ARE POLY!
I explained what it was, briefly. i explained everything, down to the fact that we are looking for separate V's (each a gf, etc.). Explained that we have open communication, explained that we tell each other pretty much everything and it is OKAY to flirt or talk with either of us.... Just the whole 9-yards. Of course, my hub and i talked about this extensively before i posted it, and he reviewed it as well before i did. TEAMWORK! (high-fives).
And what happened?
We got a SEA of support!
Almost everybody congratulated us, said super nice things. We didnt meet one negative reaction at all. I did however hide it from view of some of our more closed-minded family members -- we know it will get around to them, but we don't mind.
And whats better?
People have come out from under the wood-works.
I had a few simply message me to thank me for being so open and standing up for polyamory and tell me that they are also on similar journeys.
But me, and my husband alike, have gotten women message us individually with intentions to flirt with us and see how far it will go!
A particular girl, mutual friend of ours that i only met myself a couple of times, is in my DMs now and she has confessed that she has always wanted to talk to me and wondered about me and only asked about me around because she was too shy, but now that she saw me post what i did, she wanted to give it a shot and approach me after being so scared to do it for so long.
And its been amazing, my friends. This woman would have never talked to me if I hadn't just put it all out there, i would have never known how she felt, she would have never tried. And honestly, i havent talked to a girl that ive connected with like her in almost 12 years. We have had an instant spark and have been talking endlessly in the matter of just a day, and we never run out of things to say, we have SO MUCH IN COMMON. Her energy is just so beautiful, and I cant believe she was right there this whole time, while im over here trying with girls that can barely send me a one-word response every few hours.
THE DIFFERENCE.
I guess I am just excited and wanted to share, but ultimately I also wanted to say -- do NOT be afraid of BEING WHO YOU ARE! Embrace yourself! Embrace poly! Don't let anybody stop you from finding your light <3
I am over the moon right now!
I just want to share a little story here.
--
My hubs and I have been poly for about 2 years, but we never really get luck in landing people. To be clear, we are each looking for separate V's... I am looking for a gf for me. He is looking for a gf for him.
We get close, we talk to girls and we sometimes get as far enough as telling them our poly situation, sometimes we dont.. Either way, it never really... goes.
We've been more active lately in this pursuit and I told a girl i used to have a crush on that I liked her and started a flirtation with her -- told her everything about how i am poly, etc. Only to have her really kind of just stringing me along, not really being clear if she wants to pursue anything or not... Shes essentially being nice but shutting me down, so here we go, dead end again.
BUT
I finally got tired of it.
Baring my soul to girls, being very upfront, TRYING, not even knowing if they may or may not be open to a poly relationship in the first place.
My hubs kept having the issue of this: girls dont believe him. There have been many times where he barely tries to initiate convos with women and they shut him down completely because hes married. Or, he might get as far as initial getting-to-know-yous, will tell them we are poly, they will not believe it.. Or if they do, they get cold feet. Regardless, despite me even having conversations with a couple of them to confirm that HE IS NOT LYING AND TRYING TO CHEAT ON ME, WE ARE INDEED POLY!
So. I was done. And heres what i did:
I'm friends with just about everybody i know on facebook. My friends, his, co-workers, family, etc.
I wrote a long post, an "outting" of sorts that WE ARE POLY!
I explained what it was, briefly. i explained everything, down to the fact that we are looking for separate V's (each a gf, etc.). Explained that we have open communication, explained that we tell each other pretty much everything and it is OKAY to flirt or talk with either of us.... Just the whole 9-yards. Of course, my hub and i talked about this extensively before i posted it, and he reviewed it as well before i did. TEAMWORK! (high-fives).
And what happened?
We got a SEA of support!
Almost everybody congratulated us, said super nice things. We didnt meet one negative reaction at all. I did however hide it from view of some of our more closed-minded family members -- we know it will get around to them, but we don't mind.
And whats better?
People have come out from under the wood-works.
I had a few simply message me to thank me for being so open and standing up for polyamory and tell me that they are also on similar journeys.
But me, and my husband alike, have gotten women message us individually with intentions to flirt with us and see how far it will go!
A particular girl, mutual friend of ours that i only met myself a couple of times, is in my DMs now and she has confessed that she has always wanted to talk to me and wondered about me and only asked about me around because she was too shy, but now that she saw me post what i did, she wanted to give it a shot and approach me after being so scared to do it for so long.
And its been amazing, my friends. This woman would have never talked to me if I hadn't just put it all out there, i would have never known how she felt, she would have never tried. And honestly, i havent talked to a girl that ive connected with like her in almost 12 years. We have had an instant spark and have been talking endlessly in the matter of just a day, and we never run out of things to say, we have SO MUCH IN COMMON. Her energy is just so beautiful, and I cant believe she was right there this whole time, while im over here trying with girls that can barely send me a one-word response every few hours.
THE DIFFERENCE.
I guess I am just excited and wanted to share, but ultimately I also wanted to say -- do NOT be afraid of BEING WHO YOU ARE! Embrace yourself! Embrace poly! Don't let anybody stop you from finding your light <3