I was a simp. Not proud of it. Any saving it?

I got to talking with someone on a dating app while I was manning my shop during business hours. We found out we lived very close together. Probably within a few miles, at most.

We both were on the same page of being focused on our careers, and casual dating was far as things planned for our foreseeable futures. so I invited her over for a movie, snacks. She said she was all for it and to let her know when I closed and would be available

Well, I send the information as requested around 5pm and she went totally cold and dark until 9pm which was followed by, “sorry something about a work emergency and she just got home,” but nothing about let’s plan for another time

I made the stupid mistake of offering a drink. I was doing homework late, focused on billing and orders, it was totally off the cuff and I acknowledged it. I told her I knew that was a total simp move soon as I sent it unintentionally and the rest would be in her court.

I’m pretty sure I blew it with her. Dating apps are known for being a cesspool for meeting people, but I thought I got lucky this time.
Why was it a mistake?
She was playing . Looking for attention. Chatted the next (this) morning. All LOL’s and oh I’m just finding myself , no apologies, no talk of hey I still would enjoy your company. I told her the offer stands and you know where to find me “lol ok” .

I really don’t think women respect men anymore on these dating apps
Then don't use dating apps. Your analysis of the whole thing is honestly more of a red flag than anything else.
Dating apps can work just fine, but for your own wellbeing you've got to approach them with a lack of attachment. In this case, instead of browbeating yourself for being a "simp" (whatever that means, I assume it's a Gen Z thing 😜), consider: you've literally never met this person, you don't like the way they communicate, fine. Move on to the next one.

Judging yourself for how they behaved, and making this generalization
I really don’t think women respect men anymore on these dating apps
based on what I assume are a small number of negative experiences, isn't going to help you enjoy yourself. G'luck. ☮️
Hi MtnPolyLovers,

Me personally, I don't think it's a terrible (or foolish) thing to offer someone a drink. Yes, she said nothing about let's plan another time. But she just got home from an emergency, she probably isn't thinking things through very much.

Why, how did she respond when you offered her a drink? Did she suddenly go silent? If she did, that could happen for a number of reasons, including as I said just getting home from an emergency.

If she's a person worth saving it with, it should be a simple matter of contacting her and saying, "I'd like to plan another get-together if you're interested." I don't think you blew anything, at worst you met someone who wasn't very reliable.

Sympathies and regards,
Kevin T.
I really don’t think women respect men anymore on these dating apps
people* dont respect other people* on dating apps. or anymore in general.
I could start an entire thread on how shit men are on dating apps. but i know that's got more to do with my sample size (i have a lot of straight female friends) than the fact that MeN dOnT rEsPeCT wOmEN aNyMOrE On THeSe dAtinG ApPs.

dating apps are weird. a lot of people use them like social media.. because they are? I'm with Evie on this one, if you don't like them don't use them. Maybe try meetup to find other polys/people who are actually serious about going on dates irl and not just on it for the attention
Yeah, dating apps are a mixed bag. There are good people on them but you have to be a master at learning how to spot fake accounts, scammers and other red flags quickly so you can ditch the bad ones to find the diamond in the ruff. In my experience, stay away from the most attractive. They are all fake, scams or just horrible people. Stay away from professional photos, lack of photos and profiles with nothing in them. look For profiles that are real, in that way I mean they have actual hobbies that “everyone else” doesn’t have. Everyone loves music, dancing, movies, long walks on the beach and sunsets. Not everyone loves quilting, skateboarding, role playing games, comics, anime, ice skating, camping, or salsa dancing. Look for something unique in the profile that captures your interest then ask about that thing. If someone loves it they will talk happily about it.

it’s all in the details. It takes skill but can be learned. My partners both went through it. They also learned things to ask to weed through the fakes and players. Fakes and players will not answer any deep questions (nor will mindless people). It’s amazing how just asking what they are looking for can weed out people. Most say “I don’t know”. NEXT!!

you can skip dating apps or learn to use them to your advantage. There’s always meetup groups for just about any activity or entertainment in your area. A great place to meet real people.

good luck.
So you asked her out for a drink, and then backpedaled and told her the invitation was unintentional? And then you degraded yourself by calling yourself a simp? You said all this to the women you are interested in poly-dating. Yes?