I’m poly in a very strange way...

M

MrBrightside

New member
Or, am I really poly? Don’t know, maybe you can judge about this? My wife and myself are in a mono relationship, but for one or another reason I would really appreciate she’d had a lover, while I stay mono. Ok this man/lady could become friends of mine, without any romantic or sexual connection. Is this normal? We talked about it but she’s not really interested.
 
It's not strange, no, it's normal enough that we have quite common language for it. You would be the leg of a V and your wife would be the hinge. Her other partner would be your metamour. It's a really common and workable relationship configuration.
 
I mean there are a lot of reasons people want to be the “end” of a V. Some of them fall more under polyamory than others - is it that you want your wife to have another romantic and sexual partner, or just sexual? And is it thinking she’d be happier, or that you like the idea of her with someone else (ie hotwife fantasies)?

I mean, it’s all sort of an academic question if she’s not interested, but on the other hand it’s always nice to know yourself and your motivations.
 
Well, at first I thought it was something sexual, but we have some swing experiences and I discovered that it was more like a romantic thing. My wife is pretty normal and needs a connection before she has sex with someone else. Don’t know why but I really adored this phase where feelings were rising without any sexual contact. Like I love her more during this phase. We don’t swing anymore and she’s not open for the moment for other relations, but I think she won’t say no to the right person who crosses her path. She also agrees that unconsciously I was a more caring husband when she saw other people.
 
Hello MrBrightside,

It sounds like you want exactly what I already have. I am in an MFM poly-fi V relationship, I am one of the (M) legs of the V, Snowbunny is the (F) hinge, and Brother-Husband is the other (M) leg. Let me know if you have any questions for me, such as about what this lifestyle is like. Honestly it's a lot like a regular marriage, just that there are "two husbands" instead of one. Good luck and I hope your wife finds the right person to add to her life!

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
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