In a triad but questioning my sexuality.

Kitten0907

New member
Well is it because it's not equal, or is it because his father cheated... or is it because he'll say whatever it takes to keep getting threesome sex for as long as it lasts?

So not only is he emotionally blackmailing you into group sex, he is also pressuring *her* into *having* sex, otherwise *no one* gets any.

This guy's penis must be made of crack.
It wasn’t an ultimatum, it’s more along the lines of when we started this she was feeling like she was being replaced and neither of us want her to feel rejected. And yeah me and him have had sex without her several times, usually she has a very low sex drive and really isn’t interested in doing stuff either of us. It was only recently she’s been insatiable and our schedules and living situation has made it nearly impossible to have any private time.
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
She’s almost asexual aside from the occasional spell so usually me and him have our fun and she is kept in the loop. His reasoning was “it’s no equal”

So it's already "not equal."

Triangle shapes don't have to be "equal" to be "stable." Can easily see that in geometry -- It doesn't have to be an equilateral triangle. Right triangles and isosceles triangles have stable bases/foundations.

Sounds like she's become more confident and secure knowing that even if you and BF shared sex without her, she's not being replaced or rejected.

So, why not just drop the group sex? You don't esp enjoy it, and GF is already asexual and only sharing sex periodically. It doesn't have to be group sex.

I could be wrong but it sounds like he just doesn't want to give up the novelty of group sex and saying whatever just to hang on to it.

I am concerned about you "low key living" in a home with a toxic person. What's that even mean?

Can you live elsewhere? If so, be in the healthier space! If you are so scared for him to live there alone? The solution is to encourage him get out, not go stick you in the mess with him.

GF seems to know her personal boundaries are best served keeping away from the toxic mom. I suggest you think about doing same.

Galagirl
 

Kitten0907

New member
Kitten, do you mean that you'll continue having threesomes, but you'll just tell them right away -- during the threesome -- when something is making you uncomfortable?
Yeah, she wants me to speak up if I feel uncomfortable with anything she’s doing. Looking back a lot of the times we were doing stuff to each other and it didn’t feel awkward I was more performing for him then really focusing on her. And I think that’s why the threesome sex with her didn’t make me tense up.
 

Kitten0907

New member
We have been looking for a place but have been having trouble finding something we can afford. I can handle his mom without too much added stress to myself and I can be there to comfort him when his mom is stressing him out needlessly. It gives me peace of mind more knowing that I can be there to support him however I can.
It’s not really the group sex that set me off recently it was specifically her trying to seduce me on her own. That’s why I had been questioning weather I’m sexually attracted to her at all.
So it's already "not equal."

Triangle shapes don't have to be "equal" to be "stable." Can easily see that in geometry -- It doesn't have to be an equilateral triangle. Right triangles and isosceles triangles have stable bases/foundations.

Sounds like she's become more confident and secure knowing that even if you and BF shared sex without her, she's not being replaced or rejected.

So, why not just drop the group sex? You don't esp enjoy it, and GF is already asexual and only sharing sex periodically. It doesn't have to be group sex.

I could be wrong but it sounds like he just doesn't want to give up the novelty of group sex and saying whatever just to hang on to it.

I am concerned about you living in a home with a toxic person. Can you live elsewhere? I get driving roomies around sometimes and doing household stuff beyond fair roomie chores if that's part of how you pay your room and board. Taking on extra jobs.

But do you HAVE to be THERE? If you are so scared for him to live there alone? The solution is to encourage him get out, not go stick you in the mess with him.

GF seems to know her personal boundaries are best served keeping away from the toxic mom. I suggest you think about doing same.

Galagirl
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
It’s not really the group sex that set me off recently it was specifically her trying to seduce me on her own. That’s why I had been questioning weather I’m sexually attracted to her at all.

Thank you for clarifying that.

I'm still not clear on the new plan so I'll be frank.

So the new plan is...

  • Him and her share dating, romance, and sex as a couple on their own but not often since she's asexual. Only once in a while. She has her own place. She does not do "low key" living together with him at his mother's home. She keeps away from the toxic mother.

  • You and him share "low key" living together at his mother's home, dating, romance, and sex as a couple on your own. You do/do not have your own home as well.

  • You and her share, dating, romance, but no sex on your own. She has her own place. You do not do "low key" living together with her.

  • If there is group sex as a trio, it is with him as the central focus person. She is asexual, so this happens only once in a while.
    • You and her both enjoying doing "performance sex" for him during this group sex. Like it's a role play thing with kissing and touching and "comforting affection things."
    • But not girl-girl oral sex or penetrative sex with fingers, toys, or other things. That is too heavy and makes you uncomfortable.
    • From now on, she will not doing anything "sex heavy" in your direction. Just "comforting affection" things.
    • From now on, you are supposed to speak up if you feel weird during the "performance sex" you do with her

Is that what you mean?

Galagirl
 
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annajamey

New member
I had been bi for many years. Once in a chatroom called "Find your threesome," I saw a feminine user name. I asked what's a "NAME" doing in a bi married men's forum? She replied, "Looking for a man for my husband." That was exciting. We met and I moved in with them in 1998. We stayed together 4 years until her husband, "our" husband, cheated on us with gay guys. We stayed together as a couple. He's now half of an M/M couple.

Since the swinging days, I've always loved the bi threesome. I've had one-on-ones with men (even our husband when we were home alone and horny) but my greatest pleasure is in the MMF threesome. I love sloppy seconds, sharing a cock with her, licking her clit as she's being fucked, guiding a well endowed man into her pussy and sucking a cock while I'm balls deep in her. I don't seek a guy for single sex. We've been together since 1998 - 22 years now.

So, we're not always in a threesome. I like the extra excitement I feel when we share past experiences as we have couples sex. We had a well endowed black friend for many years. To help me get off, I ask her to tell me how it felt taking his much larger cock.

I think my story just illustrates how different we all can be. My "bi" is different from the next guy.

Hope all goes well with you and thank you to all the other bi guys who commented.
 
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