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jsassy123

jsassy123

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Hello, my husband and I have been thinking about becoming a polyamorous relationship, with another woman and we are not sure how or where to start. I am 54 he is 38 and we have been together for 8 years, married for 4. Its new to me but I am curious. Any suggestions or feedback would be great?
 
Hello jsassy123,

You might want to start with some poly-friendly dating sites/apps, OKCupid and Feeld are two that I know of. Also check and see if there are any local poly groups in your area, google "polyamory" (and/or "ENM") with the name of your state and/or nearest major city. Finally, you can just get out there and meet people. Fringe events such as indie concerts, Ren Faires, sci-fi cons, BDSM munches and the like, will have more people who know of poly or at least will be open-minded about it. Even taking a class or joining a club, something that interests you, can result in a friendship that evolves into something more. You do have to be patient. Anyway, those are some ideas.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
kdt26417 said:
Hello jsassy123,

You might want to start with some poly-friendly dating sites/apps, OKCupid and Feeld are two that I know of. Also check and see if there are any local poly groups in your area, google "polyamory" (and/or "ENM") with the name of your state and/or nearest major city. Finally, you can just get out there and meet people. Fringe events such as indie concerts, Ren Faires, sci-fi cons, BDSM munches and the like, will have more people who know of poly or at least will be open-minded about it. Even taking a class or joining a club, something that interests you, can result in a friendship that evolves into something more. You do have to be patient. Anyway, those are some ideas.

Regards,
Kevin T.
Click to expand...
Thank you
 
No problem. I should also mention that while you are searching for that special someone, you should also invest some time on this forum learning all you can about poly (and how it works). Explore the various threads and boards here, and post whenever you have a thought, news, or question for us. We are here to help and can be a valuable resource.
 
Welcome to the community. I would recommend that you both read a book like The Ethical Slut or Opening Up. It gives good examples of different configurations, talks about hierarchies, level of commitments and how to deal with different problems that might occur, among other things.
 
jsassy123 said:
Hello, my husband and I have been thinking about becoming a polyamorous relationship, with another woman and we are not sure how or where to start... It's new to me, but I am curious. Any suggestions or feedback would be great.
Click to expand...
My main piece of advice right up front is not to attempt to form a triad with a woman you "share." This is the most common newbie couple mistake.

These women you seek are so rare as to be called "unicorns." The idea that you will find a "hot bi babe" who will be in lust and love for you both forever, equally, while you both equally love and desire her, for a long-term relationship, is incredibly rare. Most triads only last a few weeks or months until the balance is thrown off.

Having two women in bed is the most common male fantasy. Porn shows this. But polyamory consists of so much more than a few intense rolls in the hay. Please check out our Golden Nuggets section, especially these two articles:

www.readyforpolyamory.com

Triad or V - What's More Complicated?

I get a lot of people new to polyamory insisting that they must date together, or meet people together, because it "will be less complicated." I see this in comments on social media, on dating app profiles, on couple's profiles on social media (that black and red one that starts with an F...
www.readyforpolyamory.com www.readyforpolyamory.com

davidlnoble.livejournal.com

So, someone called you a Unicorn Hunter?

This article is a long, technical discussion of what being a "Unicorn Hunter" means, what's wrong with it, and how people in such a situation can try to avoid the negative stereotypes associated with such behavior and get the things that they are ultimately looking for. It is written in a…
davidlnoble.livejournal.com davidlnoble.livejournal.com

Detangling is also extremely important:

medium.com

The Most Skipped Step When Opening a Relationship

You’ve had hundreds of hours of discussions on what your open relationship will look like? Check!
medium.com medium.com

More on opening up a couple, in general, here:

 
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