I was fairly new to Poly when I met *Lucas (name change for privacy).
We’re both married. My husband is not Poly but is open to my lifestyle choice, whereas Lucas’ wife is Poly, as well.
What I’m wanting to know is this normal-
We met at a local event, and hit it off right away. The chemistry was instant and we contacted each other via social media and began talking and that’s how we discovered we were in the same lifestyle.
Part of me believed he was only saying he was in the lifestyle to “be that type of guy”. Part of me wanted to believe in his truth.
However, we live 1000s of miles apart, so truth be told it was and has been incredibly hard gauging his true personality.
That being said we’ve both gone through some intensely personal issues along the way; he went through a divorce, me some familial issues - and again I felt like part of why he was getting a divorce was because his wife found out about him being Poly, even though he’s said otherwise. I never met her, I knew her name and knew what she looked like. Due to the nature of his career - his private life had to maintain very private, which I understood 100% why, as did mine.
But when I tell you for a man old enough to know better, I had a hard time following his line of reaction. He won’t explicitly label what we are other than friends. Idk if it’s because he doesn’t want it to have any serious connotations, which with us living so far away from each other, obviously it’s more of a friends with benefits situation. But, I’m the type of person that if involved with someone I need you to check in. He knows that, I’ve said and asked many times. Part of it is because I’m naturally an anxious person, another part is probably because it not necessarily means I’m important, but that he cares about my well-being and understands I care about his. However, I believe he may be a true narcissist. I’ve experienced ghosting, short tantrums, no apologies (until 2 years into this), and whole myriad of other red flags.
I understand with distance our relationship is for lack of better word inconclusive. With the pandemic going on I’ve heard from him probably 4 short texts in the last 2 months, only one phone call in there.
We don’t FaceTime, again due to the nature of his career. I will say he’s gotten better in the last year with communication, but it all seems extremely odd to me. Idk of its because it’s my first long-distance, Poly relationship or what.
Any incite would help. Maybe it’s my lack of trusting that’s causing issues, we’ve talked about that briefly. But again, we don’t communicate as much with the distance, and I’m curious if other long-distance people go through the same issues.
We’re both married. My husband is not Poly but is open to my lifestyle choice, whereas Lucas’ wife is Poly, as well.
What I’m wanting to know is this normal-
We met at a local event, and hit it off right away. The chemistry was instant and we contacted each other via social media and began talking and that’s how we discovered we were in the same lifestyle.
Part of me believed he was only saying he was in the lifestyle to “be that type of guy”. Part of me wanted to believe in his truth.
However, we live 1000s of miles apart, so truth be told it was and has been incredibly hard gauging his true personality.
That being said we’ve both gone through some intensely personal issues along the way; he went through a divorce, me some familial issues - and again I felt like part of why he was getting a divorce was because his wife found out about him being Poly, even though he’s said otherwise. I never met her, I knew her name and knew what she looked like. Due to the nature of his career - his private life had to maintain very private, which I understood 100% why, as did mine.
But when I tell you for a man old enough to know better, I had a hard time following his line of reaction. He won’t explicitly label what we are other than friends. Idk if it’s because he doesn’t want it to have any serious connotations, which with us living so far away from each other, obviously it’s more of a friends with benefits situation. But, I’m the type of person that if involved with someone I need you to check in. He knows that, I’ve said and asked many times. Part of it is because I’m naturally an anxious person, another part is probably because it not necessarily means I’m important, but that he cares about my well-being and understands I care about his. However, I believe he may be a true narcissist. I’ve experienced ghosting, short tantrums, no apologies (until 2 years into this), and whole myriad of other red flags.
I understand with distance our relationship is for lack of better word inconclusive. With the pandemic going on I’ve heard from him probably 4 short texts in the last 2 months, only one phone call in there.
We don’t FaceTime, again due to the nature of his career. I will say he’s gotten better in the last year with communication, but it all seems extremely odd to me. Idk of its because it’s my first long-distance, Poly relationship or what.
Any incite would help. Maybe it’s my lack of trusting that’s causing issues, we’ve talked about that briefly. But again, we don’t communicate as much with the distance, and I’m curious if other long-distance people go through the same issues.