Is this NRE or do I need to do better processing?

We3Loves

New member
New here, looking for some advice/help processing. My male partner and I recently added a wonderful lady to our relationship. The relationship is fresh but has been so great. I am having some feelings of being left out sexually (best way to describe it) or that he desires her more sexually than me. I understand that there is excitement for this new person… I have it as well. But I have had a few moments that felt like as soon as I left the room/bed he would initiate sex with her…. Which made me feel like he didnt want me at the time. How do i process through this. I’m not bothered by them having sex without me involved but just that it feels like im not desired equally. Is this NRE and will it die down? Do I just wait it out? Advise please????
 
Yes, it's NRE. It's the novelty.

Also, you don't have to have group sex to be polyamorous. Most successful couples new to poly date separately. You get your dates, he gets his. You don't "add a third to your relationship." There are three dyads in a triad.

You and your partner
You and new person
Your partner and new person

Then there's your threeway dynamic.

Each of these units need to be nurtured and grow at their own pace.

You might think sharing one partner will "protect your existing relationship," but as you've already seen, your male partner desiring to have one-on-one sex with new person the moment you leave the room is leaving you feeling unwanted anyway.

Please read this:

 
Hello We3Loves,

It's probably NRE. Your male partner doesn't mean to neglect you, he is just intoxicated. I think it is okay to remind him that you're still here, that you need his love and affection too, as he doesn't even realize he is neglecting you. The NRE will fade eventually.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
It sounds like you're feeling a bit left out sexually, which is normal when navigating polyamory, especially with NRE (New Relationship Energy) in play. It’s common for someone to feel this way when a new partner is involved, as the excitement can sometimes overshadow the established connection.

The best way to process this is to communicate openly with your partner. Let him know how you're feeling, focusing on your emotions rather than accusations. Reassure him that you’re not bothered by them being intimate without you but that you'd like to feel equally desired. It's important to check in on boundaries and make sure you’re both on the same page.

NRE can calm down over time, but if it’s affecting your emotional or sexual connection, it’s worth discussing. Be patient and don’t hesitate to share your needs as they arise.
 
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