My names Cody, I go by Sgtspicy online. I am married of 14 years. We recently decided to start calling ourselves “poly” after long discussions of what we wanted our relationship to look like. We’re working with a professional sex counselor that’s helping us navigate this transition for us. We’ve been in a monogamous relationship for a long time- but both of us agree that that we were maintaining that, not because that’s what we wanted our relationship to be, but rather because that’s what society expected us to be.
For us, even though we don’t currently have other partners, “poly” feels right, and gives the opportunity to allow natural relationships to develop without the fear of cheating or having to hide our inner feelings from each other.
To me, polyamory (and rather defining yourself as such) doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re currently in a multiple arrangement, but rather, you’ve done the work to agree on a social contract between you and your partner. For example, my wife recently told me that she had romantic interests in a friend of hers. I told her that I’m comfortable with her exploring that and seeing where it goes, and I feel happy for her. Both because she doesn’t have to hide those feelings from me and because I do legitimately want her to live a complete life. I never thought I’d have the necessary Compersion to feel that way- but I’m okay with it. I think that’s what polyamory means to me.
About me: I’m a 30 YO male, I work full time as a paramedic and I enjoy playing video games in my free time and have recently taken up a lot more reading than I used to. Admittedly, a lot of that reading has been about mental health and relationships. Most recently, I’m working on “Designer Relationships” and have been also reading the Witcher novels.
It’s nice to meet you all!
For us, even though we don’t currently have other partners, “poly” feels right, and gives the opportunity to allow natural relationships to develop without the fear of cheating or having to hide our inner feelings from each other.
To me, polyamory (and rather defining yourself as such) doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re currently in a multiple arrangement, but rather, you’ve done the work to agree on a social contract between you and your partner. For example, my wife recently told me that she had romantic interests in a friend of hers. I told her that I’m comfortable with her exploring that and seeing where it goes, and I feel happy for her. Both because she doesn’t have to hide those feelings from me and because I do legitimately want her to live a complete life. I never thought I’d have the necessary Compersion to feel that way- but I’m okay with it. I think that’s what polyamory means to me.
About me: I’m a 30 YO male, I work full time as a paramedic and I enjoy playing video games in my free time and have recently taken up a lot more reading than I used to. Admittedly, a lot of that reading has been about mental health and relationships. Most recently, I’m working on “Designer Relationships” and have been also reading the Witcher novels.
It’s nice to meet you all!
