It's official...Here we go...with questions!

reuabffoh

New member
As of yesterday were now a closed Vee, whilst still being happily married to my husband of 9 years.

We are all very excited, yet know we have a hard road ahead of us. Many of our close friends think were crazy! Even though a lot of them said they already saw it coming from a mile away because we have been sleeping together and basically are always together in general for many years now.

We were doing just fine until a swinging opportunity arose for my husband and I...Secondary FREAKED! It forced us to sit and talk about feelings. I, too, was not comfortable with his single lifestyle and being with other women, stating the day he told us he found a girlfriend, I would be crushed. BF said, if I engage with another man, he's done as well. Loooooong story short, we are happiest together without any outsiders. Closing our relationship to just us 3, with a lot of love.

Now, we are trying to figure out how to make it work. Here are our questions for this online community:

What about the kids? Do we lay low for a while? BF has 3 (6, 12, 14), we have 4 (10, 12, 14, 16) We also have 3 exes involved between the 3 of us these children are seeing on a regular basis. Are kids and exes going to pick up on it? They haven't noticed already after 3 years, but now were adjusting more time spent for BF and I, so they could. To tell or not to tell...or to wait?

For women in uninhabited MFM Vees...How do you split up your time between them? Who goes where, when, and is it tiring? I felt suddenly overwhelmed thinking of caring for 2 men, how do I make sure they are okay, and that I am there for both of them when we don't live together? All I can picture is driving back and forth a lot. With my now BF being single for so long I feel a responsibility to cook, clean, and help him. Is that weird?

We are SO relieved to find this forum, and hope we can get good advice and guidance. We all are deeply in love and are ready to fight to keep it healthy. Any support is greatly appreciated. We really don't want to fuck this up.
 
Honesty is best

It's late in Hawaii but I will respond later if I feel compeeled. I am in a triad, introduction can be found under-so far so blessed. We have 2 teenaged daughters involved and they are smart & intuitive. Take the time to explain how your relationship started and continues to develop. NOTHING SUCKS MORE THAN having them call you out on dishonesty. The kids have just as much processing to do as the adults. They need reinforcement that they are loved. It can be VERY complex for them. Take your time and go in the direction you are led to. My oldest daughter, Mountain was jealous Glorious slept with us each night (even though she's slept in her own room since 4)! To help her feel 'loved' she can sleep in our room once a week. That lasted twice. It's SUPER challenging with kids. Once they see having more adults to share the load and the BENIFITS they may become more understanding!
 
Hi reuabffoh,

It sounds like you are ready to do this, I don't have much advice other than to go slow and keep it honest. As for kids, that is always a challenge. They are smart and will often pick up on it even if you don't tell them, yet if you do tell them they may out you to your exes. Think carefully about your decision, then, move ahead with what you decide. And keep us posted here on how things are going, so that we may give updated advice.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
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