Oops. One more thing that stands out: her conflict with her parents! She lived with them til age 26, and after getting kicked out, spent a month living with you, and a short time in her own apartment (which you helped pay for). But soon she again chose to live with her ("evil")parents. 
And she is now 28.
When she came out to her parents as dating a married man, they tried to get her arrested. Threatened to get you and your wife fired from your jobs. Tried to repossess her car (they were paying her car payments?). Kicked her out.
But somehow, after some time had passed, they begged her to come home. Which she did (!) while hiding from them she was still in relationship with that terrible married man.
She is 28 and depends on the money from you and/or her parents, for lodging and a car. (Like many "millenials.") She is willing to lie to her parents about her relationship status to have her comfortable spot in their home. She is willing to lie to you about her relationship status to keep her comfortable place in your heart (and your lovely monetary support).
And you knew she was living a double life with her parents, and you kept seeing her. It doesn't surprise me she also started leading a double life with you, to keep being supported until she found a mono guy to support her and marry her and give her kids.
I am not saying she is a gold-digger, but, she acted immaturely. And you went along with it. Didn't you wonder how she could stand to live with her parents again after all the threatened police action?
And she is now 28. When she came out to her parents as dating a married man, they tried to get her arrested. Threatened to get you and your wife fired from your jobs. Tried to repossess her car (they were paying her car payments?). Kicked her out.
But somehow, after some time had passed, they begged her to come home. Which she did (!) while hiding from them she was still in relationship with that terrible married man.
She is 28 and depends on the money from you and/or her parents, for lodging and a car. (Like many "millenials.") She is willing to lie to her parents about her relationship status to have her comfortable spot in their home. She is willing to lie to you about her relationship status to keep her comfortable place in your heart (and your lovely monetary support).
And you knew she was living a double life with her parents, and you kept seeing her. It doesn't surprise me she also started leading a double life with you, to keep being supported until she found a mono guy to support her and marry her and give her kids.
I am not saying she is a gold-digger, but, she acted immaturely. And you went along with it. Didn't you wonder how she could stand to live with her parents again after all the threatened police action?
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I see it all so clearly now that it's over. Well, I have learned a valuable lesson. Unfortunately some feelings for her do remain but with time I'm sure will dissolve. Thanks for the input Magdlyn.