Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

11:48 a.m., Sunday the 10th

Brother-Husband, Snowbunny, and Eddie went on a road trip today with our road-trip-friend. While they were gone, I walked to the Kelly Liquor Store a little ways to the south. They weren't going to be open today until noon, which is when BH and SB might be back, so then I walked a ways the other way to the Albertsons mentioned in earlier posts, and bought a bottle of Fireball. Also, SB and I went shopping there yesterday, and she let me pick up a bottle of port. I'm just now getting done drinking half of it. I had the money for the Fireball because SB gave me $20.00 on Friday.
 
3:58 p.m., Monday the 11th

It was actually somewhere around 4:30 p.m. when BH and SB (and Eddie) got back. Technically I could have shopped at Kelly's for my drinky-drink, however what I was hoping for was Rumple Minze or Yukon Permafrost, and I might not have had enough money for that. That's okay, Fireball is still one of my favorites.
 
11:58 a.m., Tuesday the 12th

I snuck some Fireball today, I am in the process of drinking it right now. Good times.

SB got home late from Barn Hunt last night (she didn't take Eddie), we just had TV dinners for dinner. BH had some leftover pasta and turkey meatballs.
 
11:36 a.m., Wednesday the 13th

I'm finishing off the last of the Fireball ... good times ...

For dinner last night we had salmon loaf. With a couple of sides, but I can't remember what they were. Oh, mac and cheese was one of them. I can't believe I'm having such a hard time remembering this stuff. The other side was probably a vegetable.
 
4:54 p.m., Thursday the 14th

I finally remembered what that other side was: we each had a sweet potato. Then last night we had leftover salmon loaf, leftover mac and cheese, plus salad and yet another side I can't remember.

A couple of guys are here putting a new bed into BH's and SB's bedroom. After they get done, I think SB and I will go out shopping for tools. We will also get takeout for dinner. Tomorrow SB will cook something for us; on Saturday we will meet a new friend at a Chinese restaurant.
 
10:59 a.m., Friday the 15th

The forum is super quiet today, plus I got up earlier than usual (about 10:00 a.m.). I wish SB had a big bunch of errands to run with me. We do reportedly have a guy coming over to work on our sprinkler system. If he shows up, we may have brief intervals where the water is shut off.

Yesterday, after some shopping, we got hamburgers from a place called Grassburger. It was pretty good, although I didn't care much for the fries.

Rainee is sitting on my lap. And, as always, she slept with me last night. She's an awesome friend.
 
4:10 p.m., Saturday the 16th

BH and SB did lots of work in our backyard today, a friend of ours (formerly BH's coworker) came over to help. I've been occupied with email, and with a little bit of the forum. It seems that my father has come down with cancer of the esophagus. The prognosis doesn't look good. My siblings are pretty broken up about it, I feel bad but maybe not as bad as I should. I haven't had much of a relationship with my father for like, twenty years.
 
12:49 p.m., Sunday the 17th

My oldest brother sent out an email today to me and the rest of the siblings, and I should have expected this but his response (to our father's illness) was to get preachy. I mean I took it as a challenge to find the overlap between his perspective and mine, and that was fine, but wow! He went full-blown evangelist. He practically dismissed our father's illness in favor of the opportunity to pontificate. Then I realized, that's exactly what my father would want, as he, too, is super religious. And the brother in question is the only sibling that can share that kind of perspective. I doubt my father can go to church right now -- he's doing pretty badly -- so my brother's sermon serves an important purpose. I kind of went with that perspective in my reply to him. I guess there's a kind of helplessness that goes with a situation like this. The church (and prayer) seems like the only place we can turn to for comfort -- as long as we're not an atheist like me.
 
Sorry to hear about your father's illness. As an atheist, I can't relate to turning to the church and prayer for comfort, but can sort of understand it as long as it's not extreme (i.e. not ignoring or rejecting medical advice / the science side of things).
 
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2:18 p.m., Monday the 18th

Yeah, and when I say "comfort," I mean, "reclaiming some sense of control over the situation." Almost like saying, "Not to worry if you are like me, I play on Jesus' team. Jesus will fix this for me." I don't suppose my oldest brother has quite that snooty of an attitude, but I do think he is turning to extreme piety to hold the chaos at bay. The chaos of death. I guess that's what religion does, it assigns order to death. For me, the reality is, that death creeps up on us in a way that is never anticipated or convenient. I would rather admit that death sucks, rather than pretend that Jesus is going to somehow fix it. I hope I'm not offending anyone by saying that. It's how I feel.

Ah, a fellow atheist! It has been a pleasure getting to know you better Eponine, I forgot to mention that we (my V) met with you and your partner this last Saturday for dinner at Nio Szechuan. Cool stuff, and hopefully the first of many get-togethers.
 
Likewise, it was a pleasure to meet you guys! At the end of dinner, we already had several ideas lined up for future meetups haha.
 
That we did. Plans for the future.
 
11:54 a.m., Tuesday the 19th

The forum is super quiet today. And I don't have much to tell you. Two of my younger siblings visited my father on Sunday; their reports were pretty grim. He is weak and in a lot of pain, it hurts him to talk or swallow. He's barely eating anything, and what little he does eat he throws up. My youngest brother said he looks like he has aged 15 years. My youngest sister's exact words were, "His days are numbered." I talked to him over the phone and he sounded pretty rough, though I know he was glad to hear from me. SB arranged for me to fly out there (to Utah) on August 4. If he makes it that long. The plane tickets were extra expensive because they are refundable.
 
3:12 p.m., Wednesday the 20th

Yesterday my father went to see the oncologist, and I guess it's possible that my father will live as much as another year. I don't know how I feel about that; I would not want him to suffer like this for that long. I guess I'm hoping if he is going to live that long, that some of the symptoms of the cancer will recede for a while. Pure wishful thinking on my part, but it's what I'm hoping for nonetheless. He's got to get some nourishment. Maybe he could live on protein shakes?

There are a couple of silver linings to this dark cloud. One of them is that my mother (my parents divorced over twenty years ago) came over to my father's house, and apologized to him for how she had treated him while she was married to him. And he expressed forgiveness to her. That's an awesome kind of closure to the many years of heartache the family had while us kids were growing up. The family is kind of coming together right now. Even his wife, who is normally kind of a pain, is acting relatively gracious to me right now, and my youngest brother says she is being extra loving to my father. That's a good thing.

I had ample to time, yesterday, to play a bot game, so I bit the bullet. I played as White against the Chess engine set at 1300, and thank gods I won. It was even a smooth/clean game for me. The only fly in the ointment was that I overlooked an easy/clever checkmate at the end. I still won, but it took me a few more turns. That's okay, I still felt pretty good about the game as a whole. However, I am still dreading my next bot game.
 
5:45 p.m., Friday the 22nd

SB and I did quite a few errands together yesterday. Also we got takeout for dinner at Chipotle. Good stuff.
 
1:08 p.m., Saturday the 23rd

There's a rumor that SB and I might go out shopping today. I hope it's true. Tomorrow, SB will fly to Kentucky to pick up our second dog (a puppy). She is a Brittany (often called a Brittany Spaniel but she isn't actually a spaniel), we will probably call her Ginger. Eddie is a rough-coated Jack Russell Terrier. (Rainee is a Russian Blue, possibly with some Siamese.)

I think I might have an ear infection in my right ear. On Thursday, I had my first appointment with a new doctor, and he dug around in my ears to get the wax out. He got it all in one pass on my left ear, but he was unable to get it all in my right ear. I think all that digging exposed me to an infection. I don't think I've had an ear infection since I was a kid.

The doctor said I should get more exercise, so I suggested taking Eddie on a walk last night. It's been really hot lately (around 100°), so we (SB and I) waited until about 9:00 p.m. to take him out. We have a park not too far away, so we went there. We had pizza (and Greek salad) from Mario's (close by) for dinner.
 
4:10 p.m., Sunday the 24th

SB went shopping without me, wahhhh. Things still worked out fairly well, BH's former coworker came over and we just spent time visiting with said coworker. SB put some kind of ear cleaner (peroxide?) in my ear, don't know if it helped, that ear is still completely plugged up.

So I guess my father's wife's behavior turned south, not surprising but disappointing, and she managed to torpedo a day trip to the Uintas that my siblings and I were planning with my father. The only alternative would be that his wife would come with us, and my youngest brother, who was planning the trip, isn't willing to do it under those circumstances. Bleah. What can I say, he married her. You make your bed, you get to sleep in it. I do feel bad for him though, he is very sick, and he really wanted to go on this trip with us. This isn't the first time his wife has screwed things up, both for him and for others. She is a pill.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I haven't had much of a relationship with my father for the past twenty years ... well he is not exactly a relationship person, so I guess it would be fair to say that I've never had much of a relationship with him. Normally I would put more limits on how much contact I had with him, but he is suffering and I feel sorry for him. The latest news on his health is that he has a feeding tube and is on oxygen. It is not generally thought that he will live more than a few months, but I guess we'll see. I guess I'll have another Utah trip soon when I fly out for his funeral. Gods, what a mess.
 
3:33 p.m., Monday the 25th

Yeah we make fun of her behind her back, it is a guilty pleasure that we (the siblings/kids) enjoy. I would like to do the Uinta trip even if she is there (controlling everything), but that part is out of my hands. Thanks for the well wishes.

So we now have the puppy, SB got home (BH and I met her at the sunport) late last night, with the puppy in tow. I am not a dog person, but I have to confess this dog has stole my heart. When she's full grown she's supposed to be a size bigger than Eddie, but right now she is really small. She has a sweet face, and is very friendly. She hasn't barked yet, but she whines sometimes and can really project. I can't hold it against her, I just can't.

My ear is still plugged up, but it doesn't hurt as long as I fuck with it very carefully.
 
3:17 p.m., Tuesday the 26th

SB and Eddie had a training session today at the airport (1:00 to 2:00 p.m. I think), Eddie is learning to be a helper dog. Ginger (or Maize, we haven't decided yet) has still been whining sometimes, but not as much I don't think. Meanwhile, Rainee has been extra affectionate, as if needing some reassurance that she is still loved. She seems to know this puppy is also loved. At least that's my perception of the situation. Don't worry Rainee, there's enough love to go around!
 
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