Once in awhile a faulty spelling/grammar construct will give me a chuckle rather than a shudder. For example, "Nip it in the butt." Haha, pretty funny, though not correct. ("Nip it in the bud" would be the correct version.)
Even my cat wants to help. She's come up and sat right by me, which she rarely does, and started purring.
Alas that this is one of those times when I seem to be beyond help. My only hope is that the alcohol will kick in soon. I am seriously in need of a round of numbness.
It's the type of thing that doesn't have an end point; I could be carrying scars from this one many years from now. But, I am hoping/depending that most of the sickening feeling will be gone in a couple of weeks.
Big hugs, Kevin. I hate that reverse-Midas-touch feeling, and I know it can really settle into your bones. Hang in there and know that we're thinking of you.
Thanks guys. Moral support is in short supply these days and I am grateful to at least be experiencing it here.
I am currently in turtle mode; that is, hiding as much of myself as I can under my shell. Vulnerability has served me poorly in the past when the chips were down. I guess I'm like the housecat who hides itself in the basement rafters when it's injured/sick.
Having said that, the PM offer is appreciated. Sorry I can't tap into it at this time.
Here is another :hug: to help you get through the day.
I really appreciated all your help over the weekend, you kept me sane enough that people here could help me see reality again. I don't think I can express how much that means to me. You touched me... and *I* didn't turn to shit. So not *everything* you touch is turning to shit.
Please remember that the voices aren't always right. Sometimes what sounds like clarity is lies. My voices were pretty sure this weekend that my world was ending, and that I wasn't worth anyone (including myself) fighting to stop it from tumbling into hell... but as clear as they sounded, none of it was/is true. And you were a good part of me learning that. So thank you. Again.
Yes, I must get better at telling those inner voices where to stick it. Their only goal is to get me into deeper trouble so that they'll have even more to hold against me.
Glad to know at least one thing I touched didn't suffer the anti-Midas effect.
You helped me through a really hard time not that long ago when my husband first started dating. I don't know what I would have done without you, because I was spiraling to a very bad place. You offered support, advice, perspective, and my favorite of all - humor. You made me laugh when there were few things I felt like laughing about. I genuinely cannot thank you enough.
Brain weasels are definitely a great way to describe those voices. I very much can relate to you and your struggle with them. Just know that you have provided incredible compassion towards others - I hope you can offer the same compassion to yourself.
Thanks reflections. I am really struggling but I have to believe -- and can believe, judging by past experience -- that the angst I'm going through now is temporary. In the meantime, I still want to be as much of a help to others as I can. So thank you for letting me know I did help someone. I needed to hear that.
I also wanted to send you good wishes, Kev. I hope that things are smooth for you again soon and that your life becomes peaceful and happy once more. Hugs to you. IP
