Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

6:54 p.m., Monday the 28th

So someone offered like $50,000.00 more than the original asking price, without even looking at the place ... and not surprisingly, that's the offer the owners went with. Snowbunny is getting frustrated. She says she is going to lower her expectations; I can see that she wants to move soon. Which is a shame for me. I like this condo, and I dread moving. But I know we have a crappy neighbor downstairs, and the HOA is a bit of a problem. These are just problems that affect Snowbunny more than they affect me. The fact that we have to go up a flight of stairs to get into our (current) condo does affect me somewhat.

Eddie did not get the one Q (qualifying run) he needed to level up. He found three rats, but there were five for him to find. Brother-Husband was his attending human yesterday, and he did not eat hay like he does when Snowbunny is his attending human. So he did better. Just not good enough.

I was able to excuse myself out of a bot game yesterday, by drinking myself under the table. I don't remember the details, I just remember being in bed, and falling off the bed, hitting my computer desk and thus moving it. I also remember Snowbunny asking me if I wanted to eat dinner, and me vaguely declining. I drank the rest of the Jäger today; there was hardly any left.
 
4:38 p.m., Tuesday the 29th

SB says she is going to take Eddie out to walk in the mall (with the other dogs there who are training to be service dogs), and it sounds like she is planning to take me with. This is a good thing.

Not a lot to talk about today. SB had a doctor, or physical therapist, appointment earlier today. Yesterday, she had to work late into the night as the credit union was undergoing a huge software upgrade.
 
4:54 p.m., Wednesday the 30th

Earlier today, SB had an appointment to get her blood pressure checked, and I was able to come along for the ride. Meanwhile, we will leave with Eddie to go to the mall at about 5:20 p.m.

For dinner, we will probably get takeout at a Thai place.
 
1:35 p.m., Thursday the 31st

I forgot to mention that on, I think it was Tuesday, I won a bot game (versus the 1500-point bot named Antonio). It was messy, I only won because Antonio made some big mistakes, and as always with the bots, he played poorly in the endgame. My next bot game will be me as Black versus Antonio. I figure I'll have at least a 50% chance of losing.

Later today, Eddie has a vet appointment, with a different vet instead of our usual vet. SB wants to get a second opinion on issues related to his diet. This vet is an hour's drive away, I think in the east mountains, and SB hopes to leave at 4:30 p.m. but she said I could go with.

The walk at the mall (Cottonwood) went fine, although none of the other dogs were there (for various reasons). SB, Eddie, and I walked together. The only bad part is, Eddie went #2 on the mall floor. This was a little surprising since he had already gone #2 before we left. Luckily SB had a poop bag.

We did get takeout at a Thai place, Thai Borat or something like that. It was good. I had veggie massaman curry, spicy hot.
 
4:37 p.m., Saturday the 2nd

A few hours ago, BH and SB took Eddie on a walk and a car ride. I asked if I could come along, but SB still thinks I may have a bug. I don't feel sick, but I did throw up, for some unknown reason, last night after supper.

SB is nervous about BH catching something, but not so much about herself catching something, I suppose because she already did catch something, and is over it. So she said that later today, she and I would go shopping.

I figure I'm still about 1% sick.
The restaurant mentioned in the above post is, Thai Boran.
 
1:15 p.m., Sunday the 3rd

BH, SB, and Eddie got back a little bit late, and SB and I ended up going to Albertsons after 9:00 p.m. (and they closed at 10:00 p.m.). I requested some Jäger, but SB turned me down. She did pick out some wine for us instead.

There's a couple of houses we want to look at, one in Tijeras (east mountains) and one in Los Lunas (south of Albuquerque). SB is attempting to get all three of us to go see them, but the owners of the Los Lunas one are uber-paranoid about Covid. The three of us do have our vaccinations and boosters, and we could wear masks.
 
5:49 p.m., Monday the 4th

I played a bot game yesterday -- me as Black versus Antonio -- and won. It was a nail biter as usual, and I guess it was a mixed bag. I made some moves that were pretty smart, and other moves that weren't so smart. The computer judged me pretty harshly, it thought my performance sucked. But I am holding fast to the fact that I won. My next bot game will be (me playing White) versus Wendy, I think I have played two previous games versus her and lost both. I figure I have about a 10% chance of winning, I hope I'm wrong.

SB decided not to look at the Tijeras house, it had some problems, such as a previous termite infestation, and problems with a shared well, and the owner emphasized that the house (and property) was being sold as-is. So right now, BH and SB are looking at the Los Lunas house, and there may be a second house in Los Lunas that they'll be looking at. While they're gone, I've given Rainee (and Eddie) some shredded cheese.

SB made pierogies for us for dinner last night. Also we had some wine, a white wine, a Riesling.
 
2:37 p.m., Tuesday the 5th

For dinner last night SB got us takeout from our nearest Taco Cabana. They kind of screwed up our order, but the food was still good.

The Los Lunas house BH and SB looked at yesterday was in a 55-and-over community. I am over 55, while BH and SB are under 55, so we're not sure if we're allowed to get the house, but we want to try.

After 4:30 p.m. today, which is usually when SB gets off work, she and I will go to Target, to do a mild amount of shopping, and I think for her to pick up a prescription. I am feeling extra stressed-out today for some reason, so I'm hoping that getting out of the house will help serve as a distraction for me.
 
2:29 p.m., Wednesday the 6th

SB and I got takeout for dinner from a nearby Blake's Lotaburger. It was good, I hope we'll go there again soon.

We placed an offer yesterday on the Los Lunas house. I guess it's actually 45 and over. The owners are really dragging their feet about deciding whether to accept our offer.

I am still feeling extra stressed-out today, but not as bad as yesterday. At about 5:15 p.m. today, SB and I will leave with Eddie, for a walk with other dogs in the Cottonwood Mall. I will walk separately from the dogs, and will probably get me a pretzel early on. For dinner tonight, I think we're having tuna steaks.
 
1:27 p.m., Thursday the 7th

None of the other people showed up with their dogs at the mall, so I just walked around with SB and Eddie. Eddie went #2 on the mall floor again, he is developing a seriously bad habit in that area, not sure what the solution is. Before entering the mall, we walked around outside for a while, so he had ample opportunity to go then.

So I did not get my pretzel, however I realized that a certain place in the mall made baked potatoes. Next time we go to that mall, I might get a chance to have one.

The owners of the Los Lunas house wanted, if I heard right, $295,000.00 for the house. It's in good shape, it's only about two years old. What we offered was the 295, with the stipulation that if the bank appraised the place for less than that, that we would still pay $5,000.00 more than the appraised value. This would mean that we would get a mortgage for the bank's appraised value, and we would somehow come up with the extra $5,000.00 right away.

The owners declined that offer. They said we would have to pay the full 295 no matter what. This would mean, for example, that if the bank appraised the place for 275, we would only get a mortgage for 275, and we would have to come up with the extra 20 grand right away ourselves. Basically, for us this would mean making a hefty withdrawal from BH's/SB's retirement accounts (401k) and incurring a large penalty from the transaction.

From what I overheard of SB talking on the phone earlier today, it sounds like we're going to decline their counteroffer. That's a shame, it sounded like a really nice house, but for me it's kind of good, it means I can wait awhile longer before we have to move.
 
6:35 p.m., Friday the 8th

SB had a 5:00 p.m. appointment today for a massage. After the appointment, she was going to get some kind of takeout for us for dinner (which makes me very happy). I am so hungry but I am trying super hard to refrain from eating until dinner arrives.
 
3:43 p.m., Saturday the 9th

I did manage to fast until dinner; SB got us takeout from a place called Krung Thai. It was good, it was very hot, SB ordered for me massaman curry at four out of five hot. I would not want to get it any hotter than that.

Eddie had a test today in Cuba (a town/city about two hours away) to see if he would be suitable as a service dog. HB and SB went with him. I wanted to go too, but SB did not want to show up with two guys in tow, she did not want rumors to spread as a result, and she did not want to have to explain polyamory. In short, she is not ready to come out of the closet as poly, and she may not ever be ready. (BH, too, may never be ready.) This part of our setup is not the ideal situation for me -- but I can live with it.

SB said that after they got back (perhaps around 4:30 p.m.?), she and I would go out and maybe look at some houses, maybe do a little shopping. That seems like a good deal to me.

BH seems to have come down with some kind of bug. He and SB were planning to go on a road trip tomorrow with a local friend. However, I wonder if BH will end up feeling too crappy to go on the trip.
 
5:47 p.m., Sunday the 10th

So BH and SB did that road trip with the local friend, I guess BH managed. SB doesn't think it's a bug, she thinks his thyroid is out of whack. His only symptom seems to be that he is feeling very weak and tired. He might be feeling better now, I can't tell for sure.

SB is making salads for us for dinner. She is putting fake crab in it, which for me at least is a good thing. I don't know if we are having anything else besides salad.
 
2:07 p.m., Tuesday the 12th

Yesterday (after 5:00 p.m.), SB and I (BH had to work late) went to look at three houses for sale not too far away in Albuquerque. Each house had some positives, but overall they all had too many negatives. The first one was too small (and had some other negatives), the next two were overpriced (among other things). So the search for the right house for us (where the seller accepts our offer) continues. After looking at the houses, we got takeout at a nearby place (namely Schlotzky's).

I'm having less than a great day today. For various (or no) reasons, I emotionally feel like crap.
 
1:57 p.m., Wednesday the 13th

LOL, yes a bot game, that's what I need.

I appreciate the encouragement, I do feel somewhat better today.
 
2:33 p.m., Thursday the 14th

Yesterday, BH and SB went to look at a couple of houses in Belen. Well actually they only looked at one house. By the time they arrived at the second house, it had already been sold. As for the first house, it was overpriced (relatively to the amount of work it would need done on it). Later today, they will look at a couple of houses I think here in Albuquerque. BH likes both houses but SB is not so excited by them. Last night we had takeout from Taco Cabana for dinner, which pleased me (and maybe pleased all three of us). Tonight SB says we'll just have microwaved burritos, which doesn't please me so much. I seem to be finishing my internet stuff relatively early in the day, so I might end up with ample opportunity to play that next (sorely needed -- not) bot game. :(
 
2:22 p.m., Friday the 15th

Maybe someday. Like in a million years.

I gave it a try yesterday. I played as White against Wendy, the bot I played against twice before and lost both times. This time, the game was a draw. Technically, that's progress. But it sure doesn't feel like progress. I put a lot of work into that game, for a less-than-stellar ending ... it feels like I wasted my time.

For a while I was doing pretty well. I was two points ahead on material. Then I started making mistakes, and it cost me both of my bishops. At that point, all I had was a king and a few pawns. While Wendy had that plus a knight. I desperately tried to get a pawn (or two) promoted, but that knight repeatedly put me in check, and I just couldn't advance that pawn. The game was a draw by repetition.

When the game is a tie, my system response is to neither advance nor regress on the next game. So I guess I will get another shot at Wendy on my next game.

Another shot at losing ...
 
Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V (Part 2)

[continued from above]

We had never heard of polyamory before, but LH was a web researcher and a problem-solver, and she soon found out about polyamory, and about polyfidelity which particularly interested her. Soon the plan became to forge a polyfidelitous N -- LV, me, LH, and BH. But first we had to try to present the idea to LV and BH, and wait until they were okay with the idea -- if they'd ever be okay with it.

Well LV said "We'll see," then "Okay," then "No," then "What was the question" as her mind got snipped apart by the dementia. BH, LH, and I eventually saw and agreed that we were just tormenting LV by presenting her with this confusing concept. We had all transitioned into the roles of caregivers towards her anyway and she was really operating from the perspective of a child, so we kind of just dropped the subject, removed any poly scenes from her sight and mind, and let whatever she saw and experienced become her reality.

In the meantime, BH was troubled by the prospect of polyamory, and LH approached the subject with him carefully and not too often. All told, they had a conversation about it that lasted about a year. Finally he started warming up to the idea, even coming to think of polyamory as a high ideal that he wished to support. So he agreed to try.

Our four-person family decided that we needed to move. I was down and depressed and the so-often overcast skies of Michigan (with its hot humid Summers and harsh icy Winters) were getting to me. BH's Catholic family was overbearing and BH and LH both needed to get away from that. So LH plunged into a new research project: deciding what State would suit us best. We picked a place near -- but not too near -- Utah. A place with a good economy and a low cost of living. A place that's flooded with Sunshine under a cloudless sky for most of the year. The place was New Mexico.

We lived in New Mexico for almost eight years, early 2006 thru late 2013. LV went downhill rapidly and soon overwhelmed our ability to keep up with her, so, in August of 2006, we took her to a nursing home, and started visiting her there as often as we could. This actually improved my relationship with her. She and I began to enjoy the warmth we once had, though sadly the import of that was of course lost on LV.

Meantime BH and LH -- you may call them Brother-Husband and Lady Hinge -- had joined me in a three-person V configuration. Brother-Husband and I remained platonic friends but shared the most profound thing two men can share: the woman we loved. The arrangement meant much to all three of us, but I won't pretend that it was a bed of roses. We had terrible dramatic upsets in our first few years together. I was undersexed and paranoid as well that Brother-Husband would get fed up with me and essentially veto me out of the operation. He in turn I think was concerned that the "new and shiny" (me) would replace him in Lady Hinge's eyes. And Lady Hinge, of course, felt torn between the two men that she loved among other things.

Well the short-term solution turned out to be getting me a domicile of my own for a few years. A cave if you will. A place I could retreat to when the going got tough. It took some time to make that happen, but once I had a little place of my own, things slowly started to improve. Mind you there were many more storms and upsets at first, but after a year or two, I began to realize that I was starting to feel a peace about things, and that Brother-Husband and I were growing increasingly comfortable in each other's presence. In time, I moved back in with my two V companions, and this time we found that we knew how to live together gladly and serenely.

In June of last year, LV passed away. It was a blessing. She had lost all ability to talk, hear, see, and recognize those who loved her. She was lonely and lost in a state of forever waiting, for what she could not know. She was probably waiting for me to "pick her up" and sweep her away, back into the paradisaical life she had once remembered with me. I could still visit her, but no longer could she see me, and if she could hear me I couldn't tell. It broke my heart. Losing her to the hand of Death broke my heart as well, but now I was just being selfish. I needed to let her go. She needed to be free of her sufferings.

A few months later Hinge Lady and I traveled to the sleepy little mountain town in Eastern Oregon where LV had been born and spent her early childhood years. We couldn't inter her ashes next to her Mom's grave (near San Francisco) as we'd hoped, but we got special permission from two of her old relatives to place her next to her very favorite (my favorite as well) aunt (in Oregon). She got a lovely little marker, with two small cats embracing. Appropriate since LV had kept at least one cat near her for most of her life. Her relatives place flowers on her aunt's grave every Memorial Day, and promised they'd now do so for LV too. Someday we'll return, one Memorial Day, and see that in person. But thus closes that chapter of our lives.

We then made the arrangements to move to the Seattle, Washington area, within easy reach of my favorite older brother, his wife, her daughter, and her daughter's boyfriend. By the time 2013 came to a close, we'd found a lovely little place to live in, and here we'll stay. Filled with New Mexican Sunshine, I now love the rainy days and believe it or not, Seattle does get a fair helping of Sunshine too. Temperatures are mild, and we're really happy to be here.

We've been handfasted as a V since August of 2009. We're open to the idea of growing into an N or an M or what have you, but we're not looking and we feel just fine with what we have. We limit sex to our three-person circle and won't date without keeping one another in the loop about what's up. We spend most of our evenings happily watching stuff like Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, the Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Weeds, and the Following together. Our cat and dog share this charming life with us. I've been essentially retired for quite a few years. My companions take good care of me.

This tells you the bulk of my story, but I'll gladly field any further thoughts and/or questions. I suppose my main point in posting here is to let you know that yes, polyamorous relationships can and do have happy endings. Not every time, but in this case and time for sure.
Thank you for sharing. 8 years later and this is still giving newbies some hope for a worthwhile future.
 
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