Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....

N

necrodefy

New member
[I joined a while ago, but haven't been active, and I never actually made an intro. Better late than never!]

Hello you beautiful wonderful people!!!

I'm Matt. I'm 25, straight, Caucasian male, INTP, hopeless romantic, somewhat demisexual, and until recently I identified as being polyflexible, but after a string of unsuccessful monogamous relationships I think I'm forgoing it all-together from now on! And I don't think I'll consider being with a monomour since I've had bad experiences with that too. I'm currently coming out of what will probably be my last monogamous relationship. So now I'm single again, and although I know I'm gonna say I want to stay single to focus on my personal projects... I could never stand being alone. I fall hard and fast, so I'll probably end up falling for someone before long :p

However, I've grown up knowing exactly zero polyamorous people, and trying to branch out lately there seem to be few where I live. Of course, I'd like to find a partner(s) eventually, but it'd be nice just to make some poly friends. I'll save that for the personals, but I thought it was worth mentioning my predicament. I'm also going to start doing more research on polyamory. I'm a slow reader because I analyze every word like 4 times, but I recently bought the book "More Than Two" because it looked promising on amazon, so I can contribute a more educated opinion on things in the future :D

I've slowly been coming out of the poly closet to folks I know. My parents and sister know. Some of my friends and co-workers know, others don't. I know my very best friend would give me a religious lecture that I won't much care for, not to mention I still haven't told them I'm not really Christian anymore :rolleyes: I'm working my way toward being fully open to everyone, not in a "in-your-face" way but just as a "now you are aware" way. To most people I reveal this to, their initial reaction is typically that I just wanna mess around with a lot of women and feel justified in it, so I have to take the time to reassure them that I'm sincere and doing this for the right reasons. It's tough to be a single polyamorous male and be taken seriously :(

I have yet to be in a polyamorous relationship (well, there was one fiasco that I don't count), so many will probably think I can't be poly until I've done it at least once, since I may discover that I'm not cut out for it once I'm in it. And I can appreciate that stance, however I can't see that happening. I came up with the concept of polyamory and compersion in grade school before I knew they were even a thing! Everything I read about polyamory seems so RIGHT! I long for the sensation of compersion seeing my significant other being made happy by someone else, and even seeing their compersion when someone else makes me happy! Just, AGH! My head and heart explode with joy when I think about it all!

I'm stopping now cause this is turning out much longer than I anticipated. I look forward to talking with yall more in the future :cool:
 
Greetings Matt,
Welcome to our forum; I see we've met before! :) Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'm assuming you've tried all these links, but ...

... are possible ways to locate nearby poly groups and nearby poly people. Googling "San Antonio polyamory" or "Texas polyamory" may help, but I'm assuming you've done that. I did notice San Antonio isn't too far away from Austin, and I believe Austin is a rather poly-friendly city. So google "Austin polyamory" too and see what comes up.

And finally,
"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations
Click to expand...

And even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.

Well, that's all I got, and like I said, this could all be ground you've already covered. But I thought I'd throw it out there just in case.

Polyamory is "the road less traveled" compared to monogamy, so I guess above all the secret is patience. I hope Polyamory.com can help!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :cool:

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thanks for the links! I've been to a few but I have yet to visit most of those. I did Google to find some local groups but so far have only found one that meets on Sundays when I'm at work :-/ I'll keep at it though!

Thank you so much for the guidance and resources :D
 
No prob; hope you have some luck in your searches.
 
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