purpleboots
New member
Hi again,
I posted a couple months ago about a meeting with my partner Garth's FWB, Helen, with whom I had also had a sexual relationship at one time. Since then, the relationship has progressed into a full-blown triad. She is basically living with us. I know, I know, it was probably not a good idea to move so fast.
When Helen first started staying over every night, all three of us were having sex often. She and Garth were having individual sex, and she and I were, as well. Since then, things have progressed to the point where threesomes are no longer happening. She and I haven't had sex in two weeks. Garth and I have had sex a couple times. I feel inadequate and boring compared to her, and like he'd rather be having sex with her, which he has acknowledged he would!
They are caught up in crazy NRE right now, and I feel left behind and rejected. I know my envy/jealousy isn't rational, I'm trying to work through it, but it's HARD. Harder still that Helen is still quite seductive with me, but clearly would rather be with Garth, and becomes frustrated when I am present, making it difficult for her to have sex with Garth without hurting my feelings.
Half the week there is only one safe bedroom to have sex in, as we live with 3 children (the 2 older ones are here only half the week), so there is no space. But I am often already asleep in it. My son, the youngest, is nearly 2, and demands a lot of my time. I am also pregnant and feeling pretty hormonal.
I want to feel ok when they have sex, when I am out of the room, taking care of the toddler, the house etc. I want to be able to spend the night in my son's bed and give them some time alone in the bedroom. But when I do, I have a difficult time sleeping. I can hear them and it's very painful.
I just want it to stop hurting. I know it's complicated.
FWIW, Helen and I have been spending lots of time together during the day while Garth is at work. We get along great. She is very warm and loving towards me, sometimes seductive. We are compatible friends. When Garth gets home, she can often be very moody. I feel as though she is frustrated that she can't have him all to herself, plus all the complicated unicorny stuff, of course.
I know it's in my hands to own and deal with how I'm feeling. I just want them to be able to have as much sex as they want without feeling bad about hurting me.
I've read all the jealousy literature, but nothing is helping. Insight, anyone?
I posted a couple months ago about a meeting with my partner Garth's FWB, Helen, with whom I had also had a sexual relationship at one time. Since then, the relationship has progressed into a full-blown triad. She is basically living with us. I know, I know, it was probably not a good idea to move so fast.
When Helen first started staying over every night, all three of us were having sex often. She and Garth were having individual sex, and she and I were, as well. Since then, things have progressed to the point where threesomes are no longer happening. She and I haven't had sex in two weeks. Garth and I have had sex a couple times. I feel inadequate and boring compared to her, and like he'd rather be having sex with her, which he has acknowledged he would!
They are caught up in crazy NRE right now, and I feel left behind and rejected. I know my envy/jealousy isn't rational, I'm trying to work through it, but it's HARD. Harder still that Helen is still quite seductive with me, but clearly would rather be with Garth, and becomes frustrated when I am present, making it difficult for her to have sex with Garth without hurting my feelings.
Half the week there is only one safe bedroom to have sex in, as we live with 3 children (the 2 older ones are here only half the week), so there is no space. But I am often already asleep in it. My son, the youngest, is nearly 2, and demands a lot of my time. I am also pregnant and feeling pretty hormonal.
I want to feel ok when they have sex, when I am out of the room, taking care of the toddler, the house etc. I want to be able to spend the night in my son's bed and give them some time alone in the bedroom. But when I do, I have a difficult time sleeping. I can hear them and it's very painful.
I just want it to stop hurting. I know it's complicated.
FWIW, Helen and I have been spending lots of time together during the day while Garth is at work. We get along great. She is very warm and loving towards me, sometimes seductive. We are compatible friends. When Garth gets home, she can often be very moody. I feel as though she is frustrated that she can't have him all to herself, plus all the complicated unicorny stuff, of course.
I know it's in my hands to own and deal with how I'm feeling. I just want them to be able to have as much sex as they want without feeling bad about hurting me.
I've read all the jealousy literature, but nothing is helping. Insight, anyone?
