serialmonogamist
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Couldn't he respect be by just saying he disagrees and leaving it instead of attacking and ridiculing me? I don't care how he feels about me. I just don't appreciate his mean attitude.
life long commitment
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Couldn't he respect be by just saying he disagrees and leaving it instead of attacking and ridiculing me? I don't care how he feels about me. I just don't appreciate his mean attitude.
serialmonogamist
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you.
serialmonogamist
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Look at my sexism! I must have assumed you were a he because you were being so mean. Maybe I found your avatar or username masculine. Nothing personal - apologies. Long live gender ambiguity!
All you would have to do is look at my profile, where it says "female". But it doesn't surprise me that you missed the forest for the trees. If you'd guessed correctly as to my sex, I'm sure you'd have pulled out some absurd female stereotype and explained why I must have said what I'd said because of that.
Face it. You're not right. You're WRONG.
(I just saw someone else say this in another thread and it was AWESOME so I decided to use it here because it's AWESOME)
Face it. You're not right. You're WRONG.
(I just saw someone else say this in another thread and it was AWESOME so I decided to use it here because it's AWESOME)
serialmonogamist
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Why would you expect I'd use a female stereotype against you after I just posted "long live gender ambiguity?" I love that you defy stereotyping but your masculinity (if I may call it that) is harsh. I don't mind you having a solid opinion that I'm wrong, but arguing your point with CAPITALS? Come on! I'm actually glad I didn't look up your profile to gender you because it makes my impressions a little more objective. The unfortunate part is that our gender roles aren't reversed b/c I would love it if you'd go just a little softer on "poor little me."
I was so confused. You said serial was WRONG (but I didnt see it at first because I am kind of reading this thread backwards), and I said a husband's behavior was WRONG on another thread. And then I thought Neon was referring to your words, but then looked at the other thread where she congratulated me on my rhetoric! lol
Why aren't I asleep?
Why aren't I asleep?
I just liked the way you said it, with CAPS and everything.
I've been burnt enough to know where my boundaries lie. Recently a guy I met on okc, who wanted me to help him cheat on his gf, called me "surprisingly close-minded." "Well, I'm an ethical slut," I told him. Being poly is great, but you really need to have standards, or everyone loses.
That's one of my favorite pet-peeves of all time. One time, this guy decided I was "uptight" because I didn't recognize the jeenyis artwork he's created, which had something to do with aliens and vaginas. Later, it was really hot (after midnight) and I took off my shirt. Bohemian-arteest guy walks in and says to me "Oh neon! I guess you're not as uptight as I thought you were after all".
That's right. I'm here to prove to the world (especially random guys from the internet) how not-uptight I am. That's why I take off my shirt sometimes. A-yup.
serialmonogamist
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That book has been on top of my reading list for years yet I still haven't read it. You make a good point about boundaries, one I forget because so many people seem to use boundaries as part of their power to manipulate others. When you have experience that tells you how far you can take something without getting hurt, those boundaries are the ones that keep you safe and sane.
Did that guy want to cheat on his gf to hurt her or just for the kick? Do you think there's an ethical way to explore the allure of cheating? I once joked to a former partner that relationships are just a way of building up the allure of cheating. It's a race, actually, because whoever cheats first brings all the self-confidence of the relationship into the affair while the person whose heart gets broken loses the same self-confidence. It's almost like a roulette wheel where both partners put their money on the table and whoever's number comes up first gets all the money and the other one loses all theirs. This is awfully unethical, imo, but I wonder if there isn't some way to recognize cheating as just another part of human sexuality and figure out (relatively) ethical ways of exploring it.
Well, I've been trying to recognize stealing as just another part of human survival, and I've found some pretty ethical ways of exploring that. Like when someone else has something that I need, I wait until they're not looking, then I just you know, take it with me.
Once I was in a museum shop with my baby son and I gave him a quartz crystal keychain to hold while we were there, from a rack. After we left the shop and had walked a couple blocks, I saw the keychain on top of my diaper bag where he'd dropped it. I didnt go back and return it! Using your kids to steal things is quite ethical. 
No, in other words, serial, there is no ethical way to "explore the 'allure' of cheating." Get a grip, man.
No, in other words, serial, there is no ethical way to "explore the 'allure' of cheating." Get a grip, man.
serialmonogamist
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Once I was in a museum shop with my baby son and I gave him a quartz crystal keychain to hold while we were there, from a rack. After we left the shop and had walked a couple blocks, I saw the keychain on top of my diaper bag where he'd dropped it. I didnt go back and return it! Using your kids to steal things is quite ethical.
No, in other words, serial, there is no ethical way to "explore the 'allure' of cheating." Get a grip, man.
What if couples voluntarily enrolled in an anonymous cheating club and had some kind proof of membership (like a quartz crystal keychain)? To get into the club, couples would have to have a consultation meeting where both/all partners expressed consent for the prospective 'cheating.' Really, it would just be having open relationships without express knowledge/consent prior to engaging in affair activities. Yet you would know that everyone involved had consented to what was going on.
Magdlyn, what's with the mean tone? I wouldn't actually pursue these things. I just like speculating about them and considering the possibilities and consequences. For goodness sake, I feel like I'd be cheating if I went too far on a date even though I'm single!
That's an open relationship. It isn't "cheating" if both/all parties give express knowledge/consent.
You didn't invent any of this, SM. Nothing you are suggesting is new.
serialmonogamist
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Why does everything have to be said to me in a mean tone? Did someone put a "talk mean to me" sticker on my profile or something?
So does having an open relationship preclude the possibility of any activities being construed as "cheating?" I thought open relationships involved express prior consent to each affair?
So what is cheating, then? Identifying your partner's boundaries and crossing them? All I mean is if there's a way to experience "the greener grass" without hurting anyone's feelings. Since for some reason the phenomenon of the grass appearing greener seems to be a universal, you would think there would be some way to act on the desire for it without hurting someone else, no?
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