Looking for amk

Both me and my wife have been reading that exact book recommended by our therapist. Chapter by chapter for the last 6 days, discussing what points that hit home with each other. It is good but find myself scouring the internet for more identicle surcumstances and find people here who have been through it way more interesting. I guess its the questions and situation specific information i had not even thought about that i am consumed by
 
Tryinghard said:
Both me and my wife have been reading that exact book recommended by our therapist. Chapter by chapter for the last 6 days, discussing what points that hit home with each other. It is good but find myself scouring the internet for more identicle surcumstances and find people here who have been through it way more interesting. I guess its the questions and situation specific information i had not even thought about that i am consumed by
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OK, I'm glad you got that book. I agree, it's great to get your info from several sources, including this board. Take your time figuring out how you feel. There is no rush, really. Many formerly mono couples take a year or two to research polyamory before they even try it. It's not to be entered into as a lark. It's a very different mindset for most people, since we live in a monogamist culture.

Of course, you feel a sense of urgency since your wife has admitted she's been cheating on your monogamous relationship for a year now! Is she willing to take a break from seeing other people until you two can get comfortable with ETHICAL non-monogamy?
 
I had to google that term.

Her last relationship is over. To much at stake for both parties. Guessing it wasnt as fun for him when i found out either.

She has since told me she is not looking for or interested in meeting anyone until im ready.


But i cant help but feel as though shes a racecar at a red light.
 
Shes known this about herself for a long time.

Never though i would ever entertain the thought and felt ashamed about it all her life.

I really cant think of a worse place to live, judgemental wise on doing anything outside the "norm"

Think coming out of the closet in mayberry
 
Its only been 5 days of intense research and all consuming thoughts but I am already feeling much better. Rollercoaster highs and lows are starting to level out somewhat. I'm able to begin seeing a future with us again.

We are communicating way deeper and better now than in the last decade. I am much more optimistic of our future and what this really means for me as an individual. I am now seeing the positives for not only us as a couple but myself as well going forward.

I am at the point now where I know i have very little answers, a lot of communication to work on but am ok with not knowing what to do. Were working on better communication and heading together to find our new future and thats all I could hope for. At least now what ever happens it will happen together good or bad
 
Sounds like your intense research and all-consuming thoughts are starting to pay off, that is good to hear. Continue to keep us posted here as your situation evolves if you're willing.
 
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