Many years single, maybe I need a poly relationship

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Warmknights

Member
I have been single for a number of years. I hate the thought of hurting someone, and being involved in a relationship that isn't right. Maybe a poly relationship would remove the stress of commitment. I know very little about the subject, tbh. Either mfm or mff are appealing. Do greater numbers work, too?

I'm bored by being alone. I like the idea of the possibilities. Any thoughts? I'd love to chat.
 
Warmknights said:
I have been single for a number of years. I hate the thought of hurting someone, being involved in a relationship that wasn't right. Maybe a poly relationship would remove the stress of commitment. I know very little about the subject tbh. Either mfm or mff are appealing, do greater numbers work, too?
Bored with being alone, like the idea of the possibilities. Any thoughts?
Love to chat
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I'm pretty new at poly, but I say test the waters. It's worth trying. Casual dating could be a good option for you too.
 
SwirlyEyes said:
I'm pretty new at poly, but I say test the waters. It's worth trying. Casual dating could be a good option for you too.
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I like the idea of not having pressure. I got engaged with a really physical girl, then for a few relationships after I couldn't get past her, to the detriment of the other girls. Needless to say, they all got hurt,which was not my intention at all. The final straw was when, after splitting up with the last girl, we had a one nighter and the inevitable happened. Haven't really had a girlfriend since.
 
Get back to dating only if you feel comfortable doing it. Emotions are so heavy, and we allow ourselves to get too caught up in the moment. Just take things slow when you decide to start again.
 
I guess a relationship prevented by past emotions are long since past, I dunno. I have a few other issues on the sidelines, but just when one sorts itself out, another seems to crop up. I've been the adventuring uncle, but they're all grown up, so I can be me again.
 
Warmknights said:
I have been single for a number of years. I hate the thought of hurting someone, and being involved in a relationship that isn't right. Maybe a poly relationship would remove the stress of commitment.
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You can be very committed in polyamory. The term means "many loves." Why wouldn't you be committed to seeing someone if you were in love?

It's just that, for us, commitment does not equal sexual fidelity.
Warmknights said:
I know very little about the subject, tbh. Either mfm or mff are appealing. Do greater numbers work, too?
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You, as a poly person, can date as many people as you can handle. You could have, say, three girlfriends, or three boyfriends, or whatever combination of genders you desire. Polyamory does not mean your partners date or have sex with each other, or with you in group sex configurations.

Then, your partners may also have other people they date, individually, separately from you, as well. This is called a poly network. You may or may not meet or befriend your partners' other partners.
Warmknights said:
I'm bored by being alone. I like the idea of the possibilities. Any thoughts? I'd love to chat.
Click to expand...
Besides reading around here, and going on reddit and Fetlife to see what people are chatting about, you can read books such as Opening Up and Polysecure, and listen to the podcast Multiamory.
 
Magdlyn said:
You can be very committed in polyamory. The term means "many loves." Why wouldn't you be committed to seeing someone if you were in love?

It's just that, for us, commitment does not equal sexual fidelity.

You, as a poly person, can date as many people as you can handle. You could have, say, three girlfriends, or three boyfriends, or whatever combination of genders you desire. Polyamory does not mean your partners date or have sex with each other, or with you in group sex configurations.

Then, your partners may also have other people they date, individually, separately from you, as well. This is called a poly network. You may or may not meet or befriend your partners' other partners.

Besides reading around here, and going on reddit and Fetlife to see what people are chatting about, you can read books such as Opening Up and Polysecure, and listen to the podcast Multiamory.
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I must admit from reading some of the various threads, this does seem to be the most mature of all the sites I have come across.

It appears the intensity of emotion is shared across a number of individuals by each party.

Do issues arise with inequality within members of a group?
 
Hello Warmknights,

Polyamory is a very viable solution, it can involve just about any number of people although keep in mind the more moving parts, the more complicated the whole thing is. There are many possible pitfalls: jealousy, inequality, insecurity, etc.

Having said that, if you can get past the obstacles, polyamory can be very worth it. You do have the advantage of not being tied to one person. Really, the possibilities and configurations are endless.

Keep exploring this site, and keep asking questions.
Sincere regards,
Kevin T.
 
After about six weeks as a member of the site, there does seem an interesting mix of rationales for choosing poly. In more recent simpler times I guess mono became the prevailing perspective with considerations such as property and STDs as considerations. Is this a natural human state, or societally enforced? I am stating poly with the consideration of humans using sexual relationships to enrich relationships over and above swinging, (essentially sex for enjoyment).

The question is: is poly a more natural way of being, as our ancestors practiced before, or would have practiced, were it not for the complications noted above?
 
My guess is that poly is natural for most people. However society is built around monogamy, and most people are conditioned to be monogamous.
 
Warmknights said:
After about six weeks as a member of the site, there does seem an interesting mix of rationales for choosing poly. In more recent simpler times I guess mono became the prevailing perspective with considerations such as property and STDs as considerations. Is this a natural human state, or societally enforced? I am stating poly with the consideration of humans using sexual relationships to enrich relationships over and above swinging, (essentially sex for enjoyment).

The question is: is poly a more natural way of being, as our ancestors practiced before, or would have practiced, were it not for the complications noted above?
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See this

 
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