We have been looking for a wife on 20 years. The ones we come in contact with either want her and don't want me or want me and don't want her or is he wants to find somebody that want to take care of them. It's been hard out here on earth you want to find somebody that still believe in love and we can take care of each other. Everybody grown for you should be working making it your own money but bring to the household. That's the problem with the day nobody believes in love. Everybody just want to get over on people and all about who got the bigger bag. Me and my wife have been together since 10th grader high school. We both are 46 years old. I'm just tired.
Me and my wife
- Thread starter torrie35
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Did you have a question?
SEASONEDpolyAgain
Well-known member
Why would a single person work to support you and your wife? What can you two offer them that would make it worthwhile?
Ok. Several assumptions you are making that do need to be clarified.
It is highly unlikely you would find a unicorn to love you both equally.
Love equitability is .. the unicorn of unicorn triads. There is almost always an imbalance. Either sexually, romantically, or emotionally. Sometimes those don't all align. Meaning person A may be more sexual with B, but person B is more connected to C.
Each relationship needs to stand on its own.
A+b
B+c
A+c
A+b+c
Trying to lock a 3rd into a closed triad also adds a monster layer of unicorness.
You are effectively creating a scenario where, unless you are kinky m&s type world, you are trying to find the unicorn god amongst unicorns.
Don't expect equitability between all 3 people
Date separately to find your 3rd. But don't make the finding of the 3rd the priority. Things need to flow naturally.
Treat each relationship as its own relationship.
I hope you feel better for the vent.
After 20 years, maybe it's time to adjust your expectations, like dating separately, rather than expecting the person to date BOTH of you?
How about using the term "long-term relationship" rather than "another spouse?" A new partner might already have a spouse, and not want another partner to that degree of entanglement, with finances, cohabitation, blended family, and whatever else your idea of "marriage" means. But they still might be up for a long-term commitment.
Otherwise, maybe it's time to let it all go and not seek another poly partner. If a "shared wife" is the only kind of poly partner you want, and it's been 20 years and nothing, maybe it's okay to let it go.
Galagirl
After 20 years, maybe it's time to adjust your expectations, like dating separately, rather than expecting the person to date BOTH of you?
How about using the term "long-term relationship" rather than "another spouse?" A new partner might already have a spouse, and not want another partner to that degree of entanglement, with finances, cohabitation, blended family, and whatever else your idea of "marriage" means. But they still might be up for a long-term commitment.
Otherwise, maybe it's time to let it all go and not seek another poly partner. If a "shared wife" is the only kind of poly partner you want, and it's been 20 years and nothing, maybe it's okay to let it go.
Galagirl