Mental Illness and Abuse (could be triggery)

[GalaGirl]

I need to remember all those things and make sure that I'm not letting her (or Jon) push responsibilities onto me that aren't mine.

Yup. That is not cool -- others trying to push stuff into your bag that does not belong there. Keeping strong personal boundaries matter. They might try to give it to you but you do not have to accept.

She's quite the smart person, but either has remarkable blind spots, or she might be is using "I don't understand" as a way to get more time and attention.

It might be (she has blind spots)
It might be (she plays the "I don't understand" game to gain attention supply.)
It could be both: (She has blind spots AND she plays the "I don't understand" game to gain attention supply.)

Read the resource pages, but I wouldn't spend too much time dwelling on which one exactly it is for her.

The goal for you is to get OUT of the FOG, not climb deeper in. YKWIM?

Not your job to dx. Your job is to obey your new limit of not over ruminating about Lora and her stuff. You have days for that, and then days to NOT do that.

In the end it is still HER job to follow through on seeking dx, treatment, and then complying with her treatment protocol set by her professionals.

If there is further misunderstanding, there has to be a point where, instead of keeping on trying, it's time to say "You know what? If you don't understand, then we must have such enormously different ways of communicating that this can't possibly work. So that's another reason to end this - our styles of communication are too difficult to work together"

Yup. You can decide to stop riding the merry-go-round and stop putting fuel in. Whether talking to Lora. Or talking to Jon.

Good for you!

Galagirl

 

[kdt26417]

Re (from LizziE):

"You know what? If you don't understand, then we must have such enormously different ways of communicating that this can't possibly work. So that's another reason to end this -- our styles of communication are too difficult to work together."

Good way to put it!