Meta Question

ZuzusPetals

ZuzusPetals

New member
We have always had a KTP dynamic and it seems to work. My meta and I have worked on a relationship now for about a year. I have invited her to different events, lunch, activities etc. she always has shown up and seemed interested and engaging. I have started to notice that i am always the one thinking of her and extending invitations and she never has. I gave her a birthday gift recently she never said anything to me about it my husband told me she loved it but i find it strange she didn't even acknowledge it to me. Often mid conversation she will look at her phone or get distracted as if we weren't just talking this really frustrates me she seems like she only wants to talk about things relating to my husband and i am becoming the information source. I like her a lot she has some really great qualities however I am starting to feel maybe she really isn't interested in having any relationship with me besides when she wants to get advice. At this point Im not sure if i should just back away and stop reaching out or maybe im misinterpreting her actions. Do I ask my husband to talk to her? or do i reach out I dont want to create something if its nothing What would you guys do ? Looking forward to the replies
 
From your only other thread, it sounded like you and your husband were having trouble with him being distant, avoiding sex and being emotionally present for you. Now your meta is also withdrawing? What is going on? Is everyone pulling away from you? What is the deeper issue here?
 
Not exactly sure what is happening. As far as my husband that is a work in progress, he and I have a lot of love but also a lot of communication we need to work on. As for my meta I don't know if she's pulling away, I think it's always been this way with her, and I am just seeing it as a pattern.
 
You could just ask, "Hey meta, I'm hoping to develop a ____ relationship with you. It's been a while now and I'm just not sure you are interested in that. Could you share your thoughts on that?"
 
Hi ZuzusPetals,

It seems to me that your meta is less invested than you in building a relationship between you and her. This is not to say that she doesn't want to be friends, it's just that for her, she could take it or leave it. What you have to decide is, is building that friendship worth you always being the one who reaches out? Are you perhaps even trying harder than you really want to, and thus you feel like she owes you some reciprocation? Maybe you just need to ease off the gas, and give the brake a tap. Doesn't mean you have to stop being friendly towards her.

Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.
 
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