I'm new here, I was looking for somewhere to post about my situation with people who would look past the poly and at the situation. Only a few of my friends know that my husband and I have a semi-open relationship. Here is the background on that.
H and I have been married for coming up on 14 years, we got together when I was a teenager and he was 15 years older than me. Throughout our relationship he's always said he likes the thrill of new women, and that I agreed that I rather know about it than he lie to me so he could sleep with others but only one time and I had to know about it beforehand. That never really resulted in much, he made out with a couple of women a couple of times but nothing much. Each time I was crazy jealous and generally became and insane bitch and it resulted in difficulty in our marriage. So we thought maybe a threesome would solve that, so we tried it with a friend and it went badly, I feel into a depression and our relationship hit one of it's lowest lows. We recovered and about 3 years ago we tried again, with another friend. This went really well and it last a few months, and naturally petered out. During the first 10 years of our relationship I wasn't allowed to play with anyone but him. But after the second threesome he agreed that it wasn't fair and allowed me to start seeing people. Since then I've met with two lovers and he was perfectly fine after each and our relationship, although has gone through ups and downs they haven't been because of any additional relationships.
Now to the current situation. I met a girl, S, and she was really nice we were quickly becoming friends. She is in the process of a sexual re-awakening. Although I wasn't sure I wanted to my husband convinced me to link them up as a potential new partner. I was really struggling with it, as after I linked them up she basically stopped talking to me. She was still saying she wanted to have both of us, but she wasn't engaging with me. And the truth was, I wasn't really interested in her sexually, but I know how much my husband wanted it so I was trying. The thing is, as we've got to know her more and more, I'm completely and utterly without desire to have a relationship with her. I hate to use the word repulsed, but sexually I am repulsed like the thought of having a threesome just makes me panic that I'm going to hate it and be stuck in it.
I don't want H to be with her either, but I've already agreed I can. H is made because I've been really bitchy about it and basically killing his buzz. Now I've told him just go have sex with her, but our original "rules" apply. No sleeping together, one time only and call me when you're done. H says I'm being unreasonable, because he didn't make me only have one time only or lots of rules (I really don't think my three rules are a lot). He's making me feel like my feelings are crazy, that I'm being unreasonable and that my sense of regret for even starting this is mean spirited and selfish. I don't know I guess I was just hoping for some perspective and since all of my friends would be so stuck on "you have sex with other people!" that they'd never get to actual point...am I being a unreasonable?
H and I have been married for coming up on 14 years, we got together when I was a teenager and he was 15 years older than me. Throughout our relationship he's always said he likes the thrill of new women, and that I agreed that I rather know about it than he lie to me so he could sleep with others but only one time and I had to know about it beforehand. That never really resulted in much, he made out with a couple of women a couple of times but nothing much. Each time I was crazy jealous and generally became and insane bitch and it resulted in difficulty in our marriage. So we thought maybe a threesome would solve that, so we tried it with a friend and it went badly, I feel into a depression and our relationship hit one of it's lowest lows. We recovered and about 3 years ago we tried again, with another friend. This went really well and it last a few months, and naturally petered out. During the first 10 years of our relationship I wasn't allowed to play with anyone but him. But after the second threesome he agreed that it wasn't fair and allowed me to start seeing people. Since then I've met with two lovers and he was perfectly fine after each and our relationship, although has gone through ups and downs they haven't been because of any additional relationships.
Now to the current situation. I met a girl, S, and she was really nice we were quickly becoming friends. She is in the process of a sexual re-awakening. Although I wasn't sure I wanted to my husband convinced me to link them up as a potential new partner. I was really struggling with it, as after I linked them up she basically stopped talking to me. She was still saying she wanted to have both of us, but she wasn't engaging with me. And the truth was, I wasn't really interested in her sexually, but I know how much my husband wanted it so I was trying. The thing is, as we've got to know her more and more, I'm completely and utterly without desire to have a relationship with her. I hate to use the word repulsed, but sexually I am repulsed like the thought of having a threesome just makes me panic that I'm going to hate it and be stuck in it.
I don't want H to be with her either, but I've already agreed I can. H is made because I've been really bitchy about it and basically killing his buzz. Now I've told him just go have sex with her, but our original "rules" apply. No sleeping together, one time only and call me when you're done. H says I'm being unreasonable, because he didn't make me only have one time only or lots of rules (I really don't think my three rules are a lot). He's making me feel like my feelings are crazy, that I'm being unreasonable and that my sense of regret for even starting this is mean spirited and selfish. I don't know I guess I was just hoping for some perspective and since all of my friends would be so stuck on "you have sex with other people!" that they'd never get to actual point...am I being a unreasonable?
