My situation that I struggle with

You are strong not to read on.

I let her feel undesired for years. Sex became a struggle. I was certain my dead bedroom situation stemmed from the fact that I had a low libido partner. I was wrong.
Well... SHE also left YOU feeling undesired for years, didn't she? Pretending no libido? Or, not having it with you? Not making the effort to have both her partners satisfied?
I mean, it's ok not to want to make the effort, but it's one more thing she's lied about.
Isn't that just what YOU want now... feeling desired again?

I think you might be supressing anger. I have a lot of practice doing just that ;)
Anger is a healthier emotion then selfblame. Sometimes you need anger to get you out of depression. You do not need to ACT on anger with violence, but FEELING anger and EXPRESSING anger is healthy. Anger leads you towards action, towards wanting to change something, to protect your boundaries - so you can express anger in a constructive way "This and this has made me angry. So I will do _____ and ask you for _____. If this and this repeats, I'm gonna do _______ to protect myself." Actually, expressing anger and hurt as soon as possible is the best way to manage them, otherwise they tend to stick in the system and come out at the least convenient points of time, or turn into self-hate.
Please don't be afraid of anger.
 
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Thank you again for your comments.

As for using anger. I have some, but I'm afraid it will only makes things worse. I mean, there's a great fantasy of breaking out in anger and then she realizes how passionate I am for her, and she sparks and we fuck and live happily ever after. however, I feel it is more likely that if I approach her with anger that she will shut down and become more defensive and it may ruin everything. On the other side of the coin if I approach her like the mess of tears and sadness that I currently exist as, there is no way she will find me desirable (even if she does realize how much she is hurting me). I'm hoping that I can keep a cool collective when we talk, explaining that I've known for a couple of weeks and have had time to process both the anger and the tears. Of course these are all plans in my head, and it is very unlikely such a conversation will go as smoothly as I hope.
I can hardly think about it without crying, so how the hell will I actually do it without crying.
 
As for using anger. I have some, but I'm afraid it will only makes things worse. I mean, there's a great fantasy of breaking out in anger and then she realizes how passionate I am for her, and she sparks and we fuck and live happily ever after.
Yeah, not that likely :(
Still, the things you are most angry at? They can tell you what the main things are that you don't want.
I can hardly think about it without crying, so how the hell will I actually do it without crying.
I don't know, I always cry during difficult conversations, and I haven't been cheated at :eek: I don't think it's that much of a deal if you do cry, as long as you handle the crisis with personal integrity. By that I mean, do not give in to conditions you don't want to agree to and that will make you miserable longterm.

Maybe your best shot is to keep it short? Just tell her that you know about the cheating, ask her to think about a solution maybe, then leave her to process her shock and you your sadness. I think that revealing that you are willing to open the relationship can wait a few hours or days.

Have you decided yet what exactly you are going to say and ask? Have you decided on your deal breakers?
- how can she help you rebuilt trust? what behaviors do you expect her to improve?
- are you willing to stay in the relationship, even if she is willing to try but doesn't find the spark again? how much trial time will you give?
- are you willing to open? now, or later, after some repairing work has been done?
- are you willing to open with her current lover(s)? Will she have to give them up temporarily or permanently, because you can't handle to do poly with her cheating partners?
 
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The wife and I have spoken a bit. Still not about her affairs, but we have more open communication. We have bonded more, though not been intimate. Its hard, because I know that despite this struggle, she still has plans for an affair meet up Thursday night. My plan was to talk to her Friday, but we have a date night planned, so maybe I'll see where that goes. The weekend looks kinda full in general.

@CTF I get that cheating is deceit, but I do understand why she needed the variety after 20 years with only one person (one sexual partner for her whole life). It hurts, but I understand it. And not everyone is strong enough to present that to their husband first, so she cheats. I've read her texts (deceitful) and she justifies it as saving the marriage. I've read her more recent texts where she discusses our recent conversations about intimacy. She seems more conflicted. The problem is unless I can make her find me desirable, none of this will mean anything.

Look, I understand that some people feel the desire to have the variety. Not everyone does, but certainly some people do. Now, it's not my marriage, so it's not my place to tell you how you should conduct it. That's between her and you.

That being said, I don't agree that something like that can "save" a marriage. I get that wanting additional partners is not something that can easily be said... In fact, I'm sure it's extremely difficult. And while I'm not trying to agitate things, I just want to offer this perspective. Take it as you will... The fact that someone would feel the need to hide something from the one person they should feel close enough to talk about anything with, should be a hint of how she trusts you & your reaction. I hear about couples who have this kind of talk all the time. The important thing is, to let the other partner know that you understand how difficult having the talk must have been, and even offer some praise for having the courage. BUT, unless you were very outspoken about monogamy, she was assuming that you'd say no, so she did it anyway because she still wanted it, and didn't want to even give you the chance to consent or not. For all she knew, you'd be completely understanding and might have even given the consent. Then fewer feelings are hurt.

I'll also ask you this... Regardless of how she justifies it to anyone else, do you think it's really an attempt to save the marriage? If the intimacy between you two has decreased, that doesn't sound like things are getting better. And were you aware that there were problems in the marriage to begin with? Did she ever state that she felt there was something to work on/save?

I've been in your shoes before. Although under slightly different circumstances, but I've twisted myself into pretzels trying to "understand" in an attempt to make me feel better, and help things get back to normal. The problem is (and I don't want to sound harsh), that things will never be the same. It doesn't mean that it can't work, but unless she is 100% honest with you, you are always going to have a nagging doubt in the back of your mind as to whether or not she is telling you the truth. Even if it's something minor, or seemingly unimportant.
 
Alright, so I originally posted as a reply to your reply to me. But then I kept reading.

I feel I have to say this. Wanting things to "get better" and "live happily ever after" are not necessarily the same as the two of you staying together. I'm obviously very monogamous. Ask anyone here, or read through some of my posts to see for yourself. Feel free to ask me anything in public or in private if you wish. If not, no biggie. But please, PLEASE open your eyes to begin to differentiate between happiness, and togetherness.

I've been married for almost 18 years. My wife had never slept with anyone else. She wanted to, and had made plans to on an upcoming out of town trip. She came out to me as poly, and once she saw how badly I was taking it, she shifted focus to make it appear as just "platonic love". THAT alone was enough dishonesty to force me to see her in a different light. Now there's virtually no sex between us, especially over the last 4-5 months. But in the beginning, while I was struggling to cope with this new found identity of hers, I too became desperate to keep her. I was willing to put up with living in misery every waking moment. Which was a lot because I couldn't sleep at night. And when I did sleep, I was constantly waking with with nightmares. I lost my appetite and a ton of weight, and most of all, my sanity. I took a while, but I eventually hit my breaking point, but also gained my stride. I was no longer so desperate to keep things going, that I was willing to be hurt daily over it. I worked on myself, I began to realize my self worth.

Now, I tell you that story so that I can tell you this one. Despite all of the efforts, and her giving up on hopes of a poly lifestyle in order to remain married to me, the end result is that I just don't see her in the same way. The spark is gone, but I had to realize that it didn't just go away, it left the moment she told me about jersey guy, and I was fighting to get it back. Even though she had no interest in keeping it at the time. And now, we have no intimacy at all. Not just sexual (my appetite for it just doesn't exist anymore) but also when it comes to divulging feelings. Sure, we're adults and can have some stimulating conversations, but I just don't trust opening up & pouring my heart out to her anymore. She stomped on my trust once before, and I don't hand it back that easily.

You are free to do as you please of course. Just please learn to acknowledge your self worth.
 
Thank you again for your comments.

As for using anger. I have some, but I'm afraid it will only makes things worse. I mean, there's a great fantasy of breaking out in anger and then she realizes how passionate I am for her, and she sparks and we fuck and live happily ever after. however, I feel it is more likely that if I approach her with anger that she will shut down and become more defensive and it may ruin everything.

Just my opinion? You can't really ruin what's already ruined. I mean, she's not communicating with you, not having sex with you, and is cheating on you with multiple partners, for multiple years. Yes, it's possible that your tears or your anger will shut her down more than she already is, but she's obviously already closed off. Unless there's real honesty, real remorse, and a real desire from both of you to work on your marriage, there's really nothing left to save. I understand how difficult the breakdown of a marriage is (btdt), but honestly, that feeling of being in limbo and holding onto something that's already slipped through your fingertips, is, IMHO, more painful than the actual dissolution of the marriage. I'd suggest being honest with her, sooner rather than later. If you can't say the words, maybe write a letter and have her read it in front of you.

I'm sorry you're struggling. ((Hugs))
 
Dr's offices do not test for everything you have to request tests for specific sti's.

Why are you defending someone who treats you as second class?
 
@CTF You are describing a lot of what I am going through with lack of appetite and sleep and weight loss. I feel sanity is on the list. But I'm not going to let it go that far. There will be a confrontation, and I do not expect to I will ask her to stop. I just want her to want me as well...

@PinkPig. Thank you for your words. I have actually been writing a long letter to help deal with this whole issue. I'm not sure it is meant for my wife or not. If I do show it to her, it will need some editing as it is all over the place right now.

@Dagferi I'm defending her because I love her and want her so much.
 
@CTF You are describing a lot of what I am going through with lack of appetite and sleep and weight loss. I feel sanity is on the list. But I'm not going to let it go that far. There will be a confrontation, and I do not expect to I will ask her to stop. I just want her to want me as well...

I understand what you're saying, I really do. The question you should be asking yourself, is whether or not that is a situation you will be happy with. Some people don't have a problem with their partners sleeping with others, and some do. But when agreements about that with partners are made, the ONLY way that the relationship will thrive, is if you are both entering it happily. Otherwise, you're sacrificing your happiness for her sake. And you have just as much of a right to be happy as she does. I hope it all works out for you, I really do.

Another thing I'm curious about... What's your relationship like with your friend that she hooked up with? I'm guessing he doesn't know that you know, but can you two still be friends, knowing he was deceiving you too?
 
He was one of my best friends. His wife would be my wife's best friends. The four of us hang out frequently. Often overnight as we live about 2 hours apart and most of our plans include alcohol. We have not hung out or even spoken since my discovery.

Storytime: The four of us are very close. So close that about 5 years ago under the influence of alcohol we all 'fooled around' with one another (boy/girl and girl/girl only. And it was just kissing and groping). It was after the other wife and myself fell asleep that my wife and friend hooked up for the first time. Then, at just about every group setting we were involved in (about once a month) they would hook up after the rest of use went to bed.

He is a really, really good guy. Everyone loves him. He is always there to lend a helping hand, and he puts everyone before himself. At a glance, you would suspect he is the best of people.
But he’s dead to me now. For years he’s lied to my face. Always told me how he’d always have my back, how he and I should hang out one on one more. How there’s no one he trusts more than me. All while screwing around with my wife.
Honestly, I loved him like a brother, so I don’t know if I’ll NEVER forgive him. But right now, I have no desire to ever see him face to face again. In this situation that I am allowing my wife to have outside partners, I am not ok with this relationship continuing.

Also, his wife does not know. I am going to have to give them the opportunity to tell her. But if they don’t I will. I am not going to lie to her (she is among my best friends as well). Selfishly, I look forward to having someone to talk to in person about this.
 
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I don't think I qualify as suicidal. Even if this all goes in the worst possible way, I still have kids to live for. Its just never in my life have I even thought about suicide. And now it drifts into my mind just about every night when I am at my worst.

Please mention this to your therapist. You don't need to be standing on a bridge ready to jump before your start letting therapist know this stuff is going on in your mind. Please mention having dark thoughts nightly to your therapist.

If these are side effects to your meds, you don't need to be ADDING to your load. Mention it so they can be changed and you get some relief from these dark thoughts.

If you need a hospital stay because you are on the verge or already having a nervous breakdown -- please take the time out to recuperate some.

Please take better care of yourself. Especially since you do have kids to live for.

I'm afraid it will only makes things worse. I mean, there's a great fantasy of breaking out in anger and then she realizes how passionate I am for her, and she sparks and we fuck and live happily ever after. however, I feel it is more likely that if I approach her with anger that she will shut down and become more defensive and it may ruin everything.

I don't think you have anything left to lose. The problem happened already. She and your former friend ruined trust with the cheating.

I could be wrong... but all you seem to be doing is dragging it out by not talking about the problem. If you are not talking about it, how can you solve it and rebuild trust? You cannot get to the next healing stage if the intent is to work on the marriage. Like if this is the timeline?

https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.affa...logs/Recovery-Timeline-AffairRecovery.com.png

It's like you want to leap right to 6 mos milestone so you don't have anything yucky to process.

I get being in deep grief, going numb, maybe even going into paralysis in an overwhelming situation. I hope you are talking to your therapist about those things if that's where you are in your grief process. It's ok to be there for now. But I hope you keep trying to move it forward and actually process your grief, anger, and so on. So you can eventually be done and feel better in time. So you can become able to problem solve and show up to the table to talk whatever out with your wife.

I suggest you start talking honestly with her so you can feel better. Even if you get angry or cry -- express what needs expressing. Or write it in a letter or email. It doesn't have to be "deep talk everything now in a marathon" session. Just a short "where's the wind blowing here?" check in thing.

You are not a mind reader. You are spending a lot of time "what if this and what if that" rather than simply ASKING. Go ahead and ask her what Wife wants /does not want so you know where she stands. And state what you want and what you do not want. Then she knows where YOU stand. Maybe something like...

"Dear Wife,

I want to make you aware of something. I know about the cheating affair with Friend. I am currently in therapy.

I would like for all cheating to stop. I would like to work on the relationship. If a Closed Marriage model is a problem, I am willing to consider Open marriage models. I still love you but I want to be with you in a healthy and honest relationship model. I do not want to be in an unhealthy dishonest cheating model.

Please let me know what it is you want and do not want. Then we can see what lines up and what does not.

If we both want to work on the relationship, then we can talk more about how to make that happen and what shape that might take. If you do not want to work on the relationship, and we are no longer compatible, then we need to have a different conversation and talk about how to best break up peacefully and still be coparents afterward.

Thank you.
Love,
Roose."​


It might be a different kind of UGH, but at least it is UGH with you TRYING to get well instead of giving up UGH and sitting there in hell.

That's the quote right? "If you are going through hell, keep going!" One keeps going so there's a chance at getting OUT of hell. You don't set up camp to live there.

How can forum people best support you at this time? Remember...

You have dignity, worth, and value. You deserve to be treated well by others. You deserve to treat yourself well too.

Galagirl
 
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Roose, have you ever heard the term "shit or get off the pot"? You need to just MAKE time to have a serious conversation with your wife and let her know that you know everything. The fact that you have dinner plans, family plans, whatever... all those things can wait. They are trivial compared to this conversation, and it's obviously gnawing at you and causing you serious health issues.

The way in which you tell her isn't going to make or break whether she still wants you. She's going to feel how she's going to feel, and she either wants you, or she doesn't. Sadly, I would think that if she still wanted you sexually, even while cheating, she would have still been intimate with you. But you can't know what the deal is until you finally have the talk with her. Time to just bite the bullet and come out with it.

Regardless, I wish you the best. I know you're hurting, and what you're going through must be terrible.
 
@GalaGirl I will mention my thoughts to the therapist tomorrow. It was in my plan.
I was not familiar with that timeline, but yes, I am clearly stuck at Ground Zero. I need to move on, and have been wallowing. I am not a fan of those timelines. 18 months is a lonnng time.
Forum people are the best support at this point because I have no one else to talk to. I guess once it all comes out I will have the wife of my former friend to be miserable with together. If she even wants to talk to me.

@breathemusic
Yes, I need to make a move. And clearly I am coming up with excuses not to. It is because I am terrified of her just walking away. My therapist is clear she wants me to 'have the talk with my wife when I am ready' but is also clear to point out that I am focused on all the potential outcomes of the conversation without my wife's input. So they're all just theories and really meaningless until I can face the music and talk to her.
I need to do it. I get that. I'm working up to it...
 
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Those are not set in stone timelines. Every person will process at their own rate -- some faster, some slower. It's just a visual aid. You could probably ask your therapist for other ones if others might help you get a handle on all this better. Like stepping stones out of the mess.

The time is gonna pass whether you start talking to Wife or not.

Does it help to tell your story? You could do that here and start a blog thread. Or you could find support groups for the cheated on spouse. Talk to another friend, relative, therapist, -- however you feel best.

I hope things get better for you as you work up to talking to Wife.

Galagirl
 
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He was one of my best friends. His wife would be my wife's best friends. The four of us hang out frequently. Often overnight as we live about 2 hours apart and most of our plans include alcohol. We have not hung out or even spoken since my discovery.

Storytime: The four of us are very close. So close that about 5 years ago under the influence of alcohol we all 'fooled around' with one another (boy/girl and girl/girl only. And it was just kissing and groping). It was after the other wife and myself fell asleep that my wife and friend hooked up for the first time. Then, at just about every group setting we were involved in (about once a month) they would hook up after the rest of use went to bed.

He is a really, really good guy. Everyone loves him. He is always there to lend a helping hand, and he puts everyone before himself. At a glance, you would suspect he is the best of people.
But he’s dead to me now. For years he’s lied to my face. Always told me how he’d always have my back, how he and I should hang out one on one more. How there’s no one he trusts more than me. All while screwing around with my wife.
Honestly, I loved him like a brother, so I don’t know if I’ll NEVER forgive him. But right now, I have no desire to ever see him face to face again. In this situation that I am allowing my wife to have outside partners, I am not ok with this relationship continuing.

Also, his wife does not know. I am going to have to give them the opportunity to tell her. But if they don’t I will. I am not going to lie to her (she is among my best friends as well). Selfishly, I look forward to having someone to talk to in person about this.

I see. So does this former friend know that you know? If not, how do you explain to him why you no longer wish to associate with him? If he does know, is there a chance he will say something to your wife before you have a chance to confront him?

You're in a shitty situation, and I have to say that I give you a tremendous amount of credit for keeping your wits about you this well. You are stronger than you probably feel. Most people, myself included, would be confronting immediately. And losing someone who was a good friend on top of it all has to be extra hard. At least in my situation, I never knew the other guy. That made him much easier to write off.

Also, think about losing this friend. Notice how you were able to want to cut off ties with him. As hard as it is, you did it. He betrayed you. Now, with your wife, I understand it's different. You guys have kids so you're always going to be in each other's lives to a point. Just be sure to keep them in mind when deciding your next move. There are a lot of people who try to keep things together for the sake of the kids. In my opinion, that only works in very short term circumstances... ie; Waiting until after the holidays, or someone's birthday/graduation if it's fast approaching. I don't know how old your kids are, but they will get through this as long as they know that whatever happens with mom & dad, the kids still know & feel loved.The only thing worse than coming from a broken home, is living in one.
 
@GalaGirl I may start up a blog. I'll see how I feel after tomorrows therapy. Also, if I confront her, the time for blogging may be over. Also, I don't want to write it all down and have her look like some sort of villain, which she is not.

@CTF This friend does not know I know. I suspect he will only find out after I confront my wife and she texts him. I don't expect to hear from him in the next few days, but if I do, it would be via text or FB message, both of which I would ignore.
He is easy to cut tie with (in theory), but even I acknowledge I can't be sure I won't ever forgive him.
Also, its nice to pretend I want to save my marriage for the kids. But I'm more selfish than that. I hate to think what the divorce would do to them, but kids are resilient. I am not. I need to save it for me.
 
. . . if I approach her with anger that she will shut down and become more defensive and it may ruin everything.
Ruin everything ... ruin what, exactly? What do you have between you that is worth preserving? Deception? Infidelity? Spying? Hoping for some crumbs thrown your way? Sir, what you have is not something that can be ruined any further. It's not a mutually respectful and satisfying relationship in which you can be yourself and feel safe enough to be heard. Nope, you're married to a liar and a cheater who is abusing and taking advantage of your good nature. Don't think that my saying that means I think she's a terrible person - it doesn't. Of course, she has some nice qualities or you wouldn't be with her in the first place, but most of us have had the experience of loving someone who isn't good for us. Even serial killers can be charming, but you wouldn't want a relationship with one.

You know what I think she means when she says that cheating on you is helping save her marriage? It doesn't mean that she's actually hoping or trying to salvage her relationship with you. It means that fucking other guys on the sly helps her tolerate her relationship with you, which she's essentially no longer investing in. People are drawn to cheating not just for the sex, but also for the thrill they experience when they get away with something they shouldn't be doing. Sneaking around and getting away with it creates a rush and excitement. Do you really think being out in the open and poly will satisfy the need for that kind of rush? Roose, she's about as done with the marriage as she could possibly be. What are you thinking you'll save or ruin? There's not much there if you have to strategize how to express yourself so you won't lose her. That's not a good partnership if you're walking on eggshells.

I think, for the sake of your sanity and well-being, you would be better off without her. Divorce and therapy would be a good course of action to take at this point. I truly hope you can find the energy and courage to let go of her and advocate for yourself because polyamory won't save this train wreck, I am sorry to say.
 
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You know what I think she means when she says that cheating on you is helping save her marriage? It doesn't mean that she's actually hoping or trying to salvage her relationship with you. It means that fucking other guys on the sly helps her tolerate her relationship with you, which she's essentially no longer investing in. People are drawn to cheating not just for the sex, but also for the thrill they experience when they get away with something they shouldn't be doing.

People also cheat when they genuinely love another partner and have no framework around which to embrace that. When the consequence of being honest is that both spouses would lose everything, having a secret lover is sometimes the most viable option. Many people do this who don't fit the "just for thrills" stereotype.

All that said, I agree that it's difficult to see what actually would be saved here, Roose. The affair partners/lovers in this situation are "saving" the marriage only in so far as they are providing the kinds of relationships that the marriage does not. Your wife doesn't want to have sex with you, Roose, and hasn't for a very long time. In my view, this is not about all of the other people that she cares for, but about whether you want to continue in a relationship in which your affections are not returned. You can contort yourself in all kinds of ways to try and win her back, but do you really want to live with someone who doesn't love you all the way, just because you're you?

I was in your wife's position, although I was open with my husband about my lovers. He rolled with it for about two years, but ultimately, he moved out and now is happily monogamous with a wonderful woman who loves him all the way. I love him emotionally, but the physical aspect was never there for me and I am much happier with poly options in my life. Prior to the 1970s we would have kept going - and there are many people today who continue on in sexless marriages for the sake of "keeping the family together." I know a lot of them. A surprising number of good people that you'd never suspect of "cheating" have secret lovers because there is so very much prejudice against and fear of relationships outside the marriage. But even when I was open about this, I still had to give up my family as I knew it. We don't live in 1950 anymore and we have viable options to living in a marriage that is unfulfilling for whatever reason. But a lot of people aren't cool with multiple lovers and until most are, "cheating" is here to stay.

I urge you to think more about what you would actually be saving here. Do you want to live your life in longing for what never was or do you want to put your energy into finding someone who will become part of your family and who will love you, all of you, just because you're you? You can't stand on your head in enough ways to make your wife love you in a way that she does not.
 
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... Your wife doesn't want to have sex with you, Roose, and hasn't for a very long time. ...
While this is unfortunatelly true, I just want to say, that there are ways how to rekindle intimacy to a level at least somewhat satisfying to both, should she decide to. Especially if the spark has been there at the beginning. I was not all that turned on by my ex, but if I knew about my own sexuality as much as I know today, I think we could have improved our intimacy vastly.

Being more independent, confident and growing as partner, so that there is always something to admire, may be a prerequisite.
Understanding each others turn-ons and fantasies, and finding enjoyment in fulfilling them, is another way to improve.
Visiting sex (intimacy/tantra/kink) workshops may bring you closer a be a lot of fun.
Generally bringing consciousness to your sexuality makes a world of difference.

So many ways to go...
 
Once again thank you to everyone's words. You all seem genuinely supportive even though some of you are harsher/more realistic than others.
I am feeling quite good this morning. I had a very fulfilling therapy session this morning, and its left me feeling more positive.

Last night, the wife I an shared a lot of time in bed without electronics (tv, tablets, phones) just chatting for an hour or so, and embracing slightly. This ended with us having a (somewhat brief) make out session. It was kissing and caressing, I didn't push for more than that. I initiated by asking if she would mind if I kissed her. Afterwords she stated "You know you don't have to ask me to kiss you. You can just go for it". We've had a lack of intimacy for years, and I felt I had lost the ability to initiate it. Anyway, this all felt positive.
Positive is the theme here for me today. (Of course I am medicated as well, but I have been for weeks).

Anyway, I'll still be checking comments here, but I don't think I'll be updating too much. It was therapeutic for me to be able to write this out, and bounce ideas off of some of you, but in the end, it was keeping me in negative space. No one: not me, not any of you, can really predict how this will all go down when I have the talk with my wife. I need to face that, and will do so this weekend. I'm hoping for the best. I'll be crushed if its the worst, but, at least I will no longer be in limbo.

Regardless, I will update after the talk for those of you that are actually interested in my outcome. And definitely again a few months after that, to let you know if we've achieved any semblance of success.

Thanks again to each and every one of you that responded.
 
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