My situation

[Fireworks82]

I met a person going on 5 years we would talk of so many things and became close with each other I am 57 years old and he’s 42 half of his life he’s been incarcerated and is close to getting out he hasn’t had a lot of relationship’s and he’s been in prison for 12 years so he’s coming out to a new world.

I have had a difficult life and have struggled with being pushed away and not having a close bond with family members and so we would like to find that hole and fill it with another woman to bond with. i understand that there would be issues but I feel if we find the right person it would make us whole. is that possible?

 

[kdt26417]

Hello Fireworks82,

I am not a woman, so I did not vote. I see from your profile that you are a woman, I couldn't tell whether by inc you meant incel or incarcerated. You seem to be looking for an MFF triad, that is difficult but some people do make it work. Just be ready for the other woman to have kids, a boyfriend of her own, etc.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[Magdlyn]

I met a person going on 5 years. We would talk of so many things and became close with each other. I am 57 years old and he’s 42. Half of his life he’s been incarcerated and is close to getting out. He hasn’t had a lot of relationships. He’s been in prison for 12 years, so he’s coming out to a new world.

I have had a difficult life and have struggled with being pushed away and not having a close bond with family members. So we would like to find that hole and fill it with another woman to bond with. i understand that there would be issues, but I feel if we find the right person it would make us whole. Is that possible?

Kevin, Fireworks clearly said her bf is incarcerated and is getting out soon, coming into a new world.

Finding a woman to "fill a hole" sounds kind of problematic, especially since you and your bf haven't actually properly dated. I'd say give your relationship a chance once he gets out, finds a job, a place to live, etc. Trying to form a "triad" on purpose is extremely difficult.

A triad is a poly relationship form where all three people are romantically involved together.

A V is a three person model where, in your case, the bf would be romantically/sexually involved with both women, but the women would just be acquaintances or friends. The thing is, you can't count on liking your bf's choice of his other dating person. What if he dates someone you don't like, or you don't like her, but bf is determined to date her?

I'd recommend reading these articles from our Golden Nuggets section:

Triad or V - What's More Complicated?

I get a lot of people new to polyamory insisting that they must date together, or meet people together, because it "will be less complicated." I see this in comments on social media, on dating app profiles, on couple's profiles on social media (that black and red one that starts with an F...

www.readyforpolyamory.com

So, someone called you a Unicorn Hunter?

This article is a long, technical discussion of what being a "Unicorn Hunter" means, what's wrong with it, and how people in such a situation can try to avoid the negative stereotypes associated with such behavior and get the things that they are ultimately looking for. It is written in a…

davidlnoble.livejournal.com

 

[Tinwen]

You're getting very much ahead of yourself. I second Magdlyn. Learn and talk together about non-monogamy and it's various forms and pitfalls if you're interested. (Opening Up is one of the books often recommended.) But get your relationship stable first. Him coming out of prison? Big change. You'll both be relating under new circumstances and reassessing. It's highly discouraged to start poly in a time of transition because of all the extra turmoil.

Is there pressure? He wants to come out of prison and finally fuck all the young chicks he didn't get? Was sharing one woman a counter you proposed?

As for your need for more close bonds, wouldn't it make more sense better to have close platonic friendships? Befriend a neighbor, go out for coffee, help each other with the practicalities of life?

 

[ref2018]

12 years. What is he in prison for?