Hi everyone!
I'm new here, I go by Alex. The reason I joined is because, at 39 years old, I have found myself in a unique situation and need some perspective, let me explain before I ask the question.
A few months ago I started my very first polyamorous relationship, I was fully single (not seeing anyone) and I met a married woman who is in an open marriage. I never thought I'd be in this position but as we met and got to know each other more and more we both fell in love. She still loves her husband, of course, but we also love each other and we have gotten to the point where there is no "rank," by that I mean her husband isn't her "main" and I am the "side," we have bonded and have a deep connection. I have also met the husband and he's a pretty cool guy.
Here's the kicker: 18 to 24 months from now she and her husband will be living in Europe 6 to 8 months out of the year, they'll be coming to visit for the rest of the year. I still want to have my "main" to use the term loosely, but she and I want to stay in each other's life. We thought about keeping her marriage and my potential new relationship open but only open between the 4 of us, no one else, meaning "my person" would also be his girlfriend and vice-versa. I hope this makes sense. We would like to have the 4th and treat this as a sort of family, we like the emotional component we have found.
The question, then, becomes: how does one go about finding that 4th? Online dating (before being in this relationship) wasn't a good experience for me so I would rather avoid the apps. Has anyone been in this position?
Any info is highly appreciated.
Regards,
Alex
I'm new here, I go by Alex. The reason I joined is because, at 39 years old, I have found myself in a unique situation and need some perspective, let me explain before I ask the question.
A few months ago I started my very first polyamorous relationship, I was fully single (not seeing anyone) and I met a married woman who is in an open marriage. I never thought I'd be in this position but as we met and got to know each other more and more we both fell in love. She still loves her husband, of course, but we also love each other and we have gotten to the point where there is no "rank," by that I mean her husband isn't her "main" and I am the "side," we have bonded and have a deep connection. I have also met the husband and he's a pretty cool guy.
Here's the kicker: 18 to 24 months from now she and her husband will be living in Europe 6 to 8 months out of the year, they'll be coming to visit for the rest of the year. I still want to have my "main" to use the term loosely, but she and I want to stay in each other's life. We thought about keeping her marriage and my potential new relationship open but only open between the 4 of us, no one else, meaning "my person" would also be his girlfriend and vice-versa. I hope this makes sense. We would like to have the 4th and treat this as a sort of family, we like the emotional component we have found.
The question, then, becomes: how does one go about finding that 4th? Online dating (before being in this relationship) wasn't a good experience for me so I would rather avoid the apps. Has anyone been in this position?
Any info is highly appreciated.
Regards,
Alex