WitchDragon
New member
Hello!
I am a genderqueer (bio-female) human who identifies as pansexual/biseuxal whichever you prefer with a "primary" partner of two years who is also genderqueer and pansexual. I have always felt that monogamy seemed wrong and confusing, I remember even as a young teenager I found it weird that I'd have to choose only one person forever, it really intimidated me. I had a couple of open relationship situations as a teen but settled into monogamy when I was nineteen years old because it felt expected of me and I was lonely, and the guy was not only definitely not into poly but also didn't even like me being bisexual! He actually got offended. Do not ask me why I was stupid enough not to walk away there and then, but we only lasted six months anyway. Then I had a boyfriend I was with for eighteen months, we discussed being open but it never happened.
I moved to a new city and sofa surfed at this guys house and me and him and this woman he was seeing started having threesomes. Eventually me and her realised we liked each other more then him and kind of left the situation together. We went to a party together and I met her ex-partner who I pretty much had love at first sight with and ended up getting very strong feelings for, we tried to be poly for a couple of weeks but the energy between myself and him was too overwhelming for her and we had to break it off and form a couple. They'd had a lot of shit in their relationship and too much baggage to really reform it again at that point. I guess I should have learnt my lesson about NRE at this point but it's so hard to see it when you're in it. After a year-ish of being together I end up having a very powerful crush/falling in love with a mutual friend of ours, my partner feels very strongly for her too, but she reciprocates more with me then my partner. Months of build-up (fleeting kisses, cuddles, massage, etc.) then eventually we share an intimate night with the three of us, but she then slowly breaks away from us (although me and her occasionally do kiss still) however I was not conscious enough of my partner to realize I was obsessing over her too much and favouring her over him all the time. When I finally did clock what was going on I felt very guilty as my partner was devoted and patient. In our conversations of polyamory we have mostly said "only situations that involve both of us" and "we are each others primaries" but I then did ask if me and this girl could ever possibly share intimacy without him as I was aware she was more comfortable with me then him.
Our current situation however has made me realise how stressful and difficult polyamory can be and feel. My partner ended up fancying a woman we met recently quite a lot, more then anyone since myself, and she reciprocated, and he began sharing sexual energy with her (touching her suggestively, being very flirtatious, etc.) at first without me knowing, although he did tell me afterwards, then she began coming on to me too, and we have had a week of threesome fun. At first I felt a lot of compersion and found the situation really sexy, but I am now starting to become frightened of the NRE building between them. I know she finds me attractive and is drawn to me too but it really feels like what they have is just a different thing. Anyway, I'll post more details somewhere else. This is basically me and my situation!
I am a genderqueer (bio-female) human who identifies as pansexual/biseuxal whichever you prefer with a "primary" partner of two years who is also genderqueer and pansexual. I have always felt that monogamy seemed wrong and confusing, I remember even as a young teenager I found it weird that I'd have to choose only one person forever, it really intimidated me. I had a couple of open relationship situations as a teen but settled into monogamy when I was nineteen years old because it felt expected of me and I was lonely, and the guy was not only definitely not into poly but also didn't even like me being bisexual! He actually got offended. Do not ask me why I was stupid enough not to walk away there and then, but we only lasted six months anyway. Then I had a boyfriend I was with for eighteen months, we discussed being open but it never happened.
I moved to a new city and sofa surfed at this guys house and me and him and this woman he was seeing started having threesomes. Eventually me and her realised we liked each other more then him and kind of left the situation together. We went to a party together and I met her ex-partner who I pretty much had love at first sight with and ended up getting very strong feelings for, we tried to be poly for a couple of weeks but the energy between myself and him was too overwhelming for her and we had to break it off and form a couple. They'd had a lot of shit in their relationship and too much baggage to really reform it again at that point. I guess I should have learnt my lesson about NRE at this point but it's so hard to see it when you're in it. After a year-ish of being together I end up having a very powerful crush/falling in love with a mutual friend of ours, my partner feels very strongly for her too, but she reciprocates more with me then my partner. Months of build-up (fleeting kisses, cuddles, massage, etc.) then eventually we share an intimate night with the three of us, but she then slowly breaks away from us (although me and her occasionally do kiss still) however I was not conscious enough of my partner to realize I was obsessing over her too much and favouring her over him all the time. When I finally did clock what was going on I felt very guilty as my partner was devoted and patient. In our conversations of polyamory we have mostly said "only situations that involve both of us" and "we are each others primaries" but I then did ask if me and this girl could ever possibly share intimacy without him as I was aware she was more comfortable with me then him.
Our current situation however has made me realise how stressful and difficult polyamory can be and feel. My partner ended up fancying a woman we met recently quite a lot, more then anyone since myself, and she reciprocated, and he began sharing sexual energy with her (touching her suggestively, being very flirtatious, etc.) at first without me knowing, although he did tell me afterwards, then she began coming on to me too, and we have had a week of threesome fun. At first I felt a lot of compersion and found the situation really sexy, but I am now starting to become frightened of the NRE building between them. I know she finds me attractive and is drawn to me too but it really feels like what they have is just a different thing. Anyway, I'll post more details somewhere else. This is basically me and my situation!
