New and confused


Well-known member
I have to agree that insinuating yourself into the dyad of Apple and Berry ("wife," "lesbian friend") is unwise. Honestly, it's a very common rookie mistake. I did it myself when I was married to a straight guy. I am a bi woman. After 2 decades together, he decided he wanted to let me explore my sexuality in fantasy, as we had sex. Verbal fantasies. That went so well and aroused us both so much, he strongly requested we open to actually finding a real life woman to have sex with together.

It was a disaster. The woman we found (in a group of hobby acquaintances) said she was into me and him both. But actually, not only was she straight, she also kind of hated women because of her mother having abused her as a child. We were friends, but when it came to "sharing" my h, even were we to focus on him and not do anything to each other (as you might be imaginging with Apply and Berry), she refused.

So, this was a similar scenario...

Do you imagine that you're just in the room watching Apple and Berry get it on? Or that you're all in the bed, but you and Berry aren't intentionally sexually touching each other, just touching Apple? Or do you imagine that somehow, on these women's first sex date (which can be awkward enough), a lesbian is also having her (perhaps?) very first sexual encounter with a man, at the same time as she is having her first sex with a new female partner? Doesn't this sound incredibly complicated and with potential for disaster?

I'd suggest you do your reading, and IF you want to consent to Apple exploring her bi side, allow the women space to get to know each other sexually. Meet Berry platonically. Get to know her. Give it time, many months. Don't pressure a lesbian to have her first sex with a man be tainted by this pressure, that she can't get with Apple unless she opens her legs to you, just because you're there, in the way, the gatekeeper of Apple's sexuality.

You say you respect Berry. I assume you respect your wife. She may think she HAS to let her owner... I mean her husband, insinuate himself into her dyad with Berry. But she really doesn't. It most probably would do more harm than good, to everyone, and in many ways.

Triads that are prescribed as triads pretty much never work out for more than a few months, if that. Sexual and emotional closeness is always built one-on-one. Casual sexual threeway sessions can and do happen. Long term FFM triads only succeed if each person is attracted to every other person as an individual, and not as part of a unit.