badgergirl10
New member
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. He told me on the second date that he is non monogamous/poly. I have only ever been monogamous, but I ended up deciding I wanted to continue with this relationship and explore this new world. However, I did not want to have any other partners. I knew he had a D/s relationship of about 6 months at the time, but he was looking for me to be his nesting partner long term if things got there far. His kids know her as a friend and me has his girlfriend, when I do end up meeting them.
His D/s relationship has grown significantly in the last few months, and she is a pillar partner. She has met his kids and is now very involved in his everyday life. She identifies as solo poly and has several other partners. My boyfriend had a couple other play partners and is looking for more long term play partners for him and his other pillar partner to enjoy group sex.
Being new to this world, we've had a lot of conversations on what it all looks like, what he's looking for, what I'm looking for, etc. The communication had been the healthiest I've ever experienced. I met his other pillar partner twice now. I want to be comfortable hanging out with her and spending time together. However, her and I don't really get along. I've felt threatened because her feelings for him have grown a lot and she is wanting to be more part of his day to day life, which was not the case when him and I agreed to continue this relationship. I understand relationships evolve, but it feels like she thought this would be a fling since I don't live a poly life and she'd go back to not having to share him with someone serious. We get along fine. She doesn't seem interested in getting to know me. She does minimal work to please him. I don't open up to people easily and until I get to know you, so it's been a struggle getting there.
She has stated she doesn't have the patience to deal with a newbie since the two times we've hung out, they have held back in their interactions, which I never asked for. She keeps telling him I'm not ready for this life.
I'm really looking for advice or guidance on how to navigate this relationship with her. I want to be able to be in the same room and not feel like everything I do or say is being judged. She told him if she can't fully be herself with him around me, she doesn't want to be in the same space as me. I feel like it's a lot of pressure put on me to make sure she is happy. I feel like I'll never live up to her standard on what his partner should be like. Any advice is much appreciated as a newbie willing to learn, be uncomfortable and grow.
His D/s relationship has grown significantly in the last few months, and she is a pillar partner. She has met his kids and is now very involved in his everyday life. She identifies as solo poly and has several other partners. My boyfriend had a couple other play partners and is looking for more long term play partners for him and his other pillar partner to enjoy group sex.
Being new to this world, we've had a lot of conversations on what it all looks like, what he's looking for, what I'm looking for, etc. The communication had been the healthiest I've ever experienced. I met his other pillar partner twice now. I want to be comfortable hanging out with her and spending time together. However, her and I don't really get along. I've felt threatened because her feelings for him have grown a lot and she is wanting to be more part of his day to day life, which was not the case when him and I agreed to continue this relationship. I understand relationships evolve, but it feels like she thought this would be a fling since I don't live a poly life and she'd go back to not having to share him with someone serious. We get along fine. She doesn't seem interested in getting to know me. She does minimal work to please him. I don't open up to people easily and until I get to know you, so it's been a struggle getting there.
She has stated she doesn't have the patience to deal with a newbie since the two times we've hung out, they have held back in their interactions, which I never asked for. She keeps telling him I'm not ready for this life.
I'm really looking for advice or guidance on how to navigate this relationship with her. I want to be able to be in the same room and not feel like everything I do or say is being judged. She told him if she can't fully be herself with him around me, she doesn't want to be in the same space as me. I feel like it's a lot of pressure put on me to make sure she is happy. I feel like I'll never live up to her standard on what his partner should be like. Any advice is much appreciated as a newbie willing to learn, be uncomfortable and grow.