New Arkansas Couple

yknot

yknot

New member
G'day,
We just wanted to introduce ourselves to the community.

We are a mid 40"s couple that has been married for 22 years and in the swinger lifestyle for 12 years. About 5 years ago we decided on opening up our marriage and that has been exciting and fun...along with some trials. We have been researching and speaking about exploring the poly world for about 2 years now and finally decided to put some action to the talk.

Mr. Yknot is Australian and Mrs. Yknot hails from Arkansas. We are looking for advice, guidance, and friends within this community that will help us wade our way into our new life and avoid some of the potholes along the way.

We are fairly sure that the community in Arkansas is probably small to non-existent and fairly secretive considering it is in the holy roller section of the country. However, we are open to finding those that do reside in the State to form friendships and obtain advice.

Thanks for reading
 
Greetings yknot,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Hopefully we can help with your poly journey; any questions you have feel free to ask. When you post, always indicate whether Mr. or Mrs. Yknot is speaking. Keep us updated too on your situation to help us know what advice to give.

It's nice to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thanks for the welcome and info! Have been wandering the forum for about 2 hours on and off...:)
 
Hi there yknot. Where in Arkansas. We are in south central and always looking for new poly people to talk with. We are trying to coordinate a meet up group in the ark la tex area right now. It is on fet life right now. idk if you have a presence there but love to chat.
 
Hi there,
Thanks for the welcome. We are in the NW area. This adventure is new to us as we stated but we would welcome chatting about things. We do not have a presence on the site you mentioned but have tried to join Arkansas polyamory group...have no response from there yet. If you get a meet and greet planned let us know we might make a weekend out of it to come down.

Thanks again:)
 
Hi yknot. Welcome to the board. Good luck transitioning from swinging to polyamory.

One huge difference between swinging and poly is that poly is not couples based. The majority of poly people date as individuals. Being a couple seeking a partner to share in a threesome kind of way rarely works in polyamory, as polyamory is love based, not sex based, and love between 2 people is always unique. You set yourself up for failure if you are seeking a "girl to share," or to "add to our relationship."

I am not saying you are doing that. It's a lead in to tell you, it is highly suggested that if you both, Mr and Mrs, are going to be posting here, you get separate accounts. If you refuse to do that, you must at least indicate who is speaking in every post as "yknot." "This is Mr," "This is Mrs." speaking. You aren't a borg and no matter how much in agreement you are, you will each have a unique take on things. If you want feedback, members need to know to whom they are speaking.
 
Thanks for the help

Magdlyn,

This is Mr. Yknot...thanks for the advice! We appreciate your input and definitely will talk it over regarding the separate accounts (great thought!). We have been dating separately for a few years now when either of us has had the opportunity; that was what we meant by open marriage (maybe I wasn't clear). Anyway we both talked and agreed that due to the fact we have dated separately and each has had girlfriends and boyfriends this seemed like the logical next step. I think the biggest transition for us will be exactly what you said "poly is about love". We have spoken about that a lot but I am not sure how we will respond until we get there. It is very easy to say "we will be ok" but until a situation happens and each figures out their mess (so to speak) does one really know? I don't believe they do.
Please keep the helpful advice coming as we truly desire to move into this lifestyle...I think people such as yourself can give us great advice and maybe steer us away from some of those potholes and pitfalls...
Appreciate you
Mr. YKnot
 
So far you seem to be doing pretty well.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Kevin T,

Thanks for the comment. We definitely are listening and talking a lot. We seem to have moved here organically and that always works best for us. The open marriage process we are in and moving through definitely helped solidify the poly lifestyle for us.

So let me pose a question... finding new partners? I have read the thread on dating mono's and also the discussion on dating only poly. Have you ever come across someone you are interested in and had to explain your lifestyle choice? How did that go? I understand most people who have been programmed by society into monogamy would find this a difficult pill to swallow.

Thoughts
Mr Yknot
 
Last edited:
yknot said:
Kevin T,

Thanks for the comment. We definitely are listening and talking a lot. We seem to have moved here organically and that always works best for us. The open marriage process we are in and moving through definitely helped solidify the poly lifestyle for us.

So let me pose a question... finding new partners? I have read the thread on dating mono's and also the discussion on dating only poly. Have you ever come across someone you are interested in and had to explain your lifestyle choice? How did that go? I understand most people who have been programmed by society into monogamy would find this a difficult pill to swallow.

Thoughts
Mr Yknot
Click to expand...

We have threads on dating here... Some people date monos, some date other poly people. There are misunderstandings galore. It's often found that a woman who wants to date guys find that the men often think they are just "loose women" who will fuck anyone. Occasionally they find a man who gets it, or who can be educated. Men who want to date women often find that young women want husbands, or at least bfs who will be mono with them, and want to ride all the way up the relationship escalator.

But non-monogamy is becoming a bit more popular now, and more people are becoming aware of what it really means.

OK Cupid is a good place to find poly people, as you can write it into your profile, and in the answers you give to the questions the site provides. Your compatibility shows up as a percentage match. I usually refused all seekers with less than a 90% match.
 
Magdlyn,
Thanks again for your input. Just so you know Mrs Yknot now has her own profile, MrsYknot, so we are beginning the separate stuff and are good with it...(that was a great idea). I totally get what you are saying about young women wanting husbands or mono relationships...

Keep the good stuff coming in and I will keep posting how things roll for me

Mr. yknot
 
Thank you for creating two separate accounts for each of you. It is something we ask couples to do in our User Guidelines, which can be found here:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1787

If you haven't read the Guidelines yet, please do so before posting again. Also, check out the Golden Nuggets forum which has a plethora of links to very useful info. Thanks and welcome to you both!
 
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