New beginnings with wife

OrangePants333

New member
Hi, my wife and I are new to poly.

We wanted something new and different in our lives. As we were each other’s firsts for almost everything, we always had an open option to see others people if we desired. Until recently and my many kidney issues my wife after 10 years ask if she could invoke the option in seeing others.

Was shocked at first but we talked about it and ultimately decided it was the best option. We have always been really great at communication and open thinking.

Until I get my kidney issues fix up and get the operation I am just really just looking in gaining more information and talking to like minded people, which I hope to achieve from the site.
Thank you for reading.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Greetings OrangePants333,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are pretty much new at the lovestyle we call polyamory; I am glad you are here; you will meet many like-minded individuals on this forum. I hope your kidney operation goes okay, that sounds pretty serious. Hopefully you and your wife will negotiate an open relationship, there is a book you might want to read, it is called, "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," by Tristan Taormino. It gives much food for thought, and many things to consider as you walk along the open trail. You and your wife might want to read it together. Also, if you have any questions, just let us know. We are here to help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
 

OrangePants333

New member
Hi thanks for the welcome. Kidney should be okay see how the operation goes, then I really can start in this lifestyle. Wife’s got a few months head start but that’s fine she seems to be loving it. She’s found a couple of regulars. I’ll definitely take a look at the book. We really are new to this. Thanks again.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
Hi, thanks for the welcome. The kidney should be okay. We'll see how the operation goes, then I really can start in this lifestyle. My wife’s got a few months head start, but that’s fine. She seems to be loving it. She’s found a couple of regulars. I’ll definitely take a look at the book. We really are new to this. Thanks again.

Hi, my wife and I are new to poly.

We wanted something new and different in our lives. As we were each other’s firsts for almost everything, we always had an open option to see other people, if we desired. Recently, after 10 years, and with my many kidney issues, my wife asked if she could invoke the option to see others.

I was shocked at first, but we talked about it, and ultimately decided it was the best option. We have always been really great at communication and open thinking.

Until I get my kidney issues fixed up and get an operation, I'm just looking to get more information and talk to like minded people.

You need to decide if you want a polysexual relationship, or a polyamorous relationship. In other words, what if one or both of you falls in love with another person? How do you plan to incorporate a whole new person or two or more into your lives? The book Opening Up will help you address these practicalities.

Polyamory isn't a lifestyle, it's a love style. Poly people have all sorts of different lifestyles. Some of us might live alone, some might live with a spouse or nesting/anchor partner. Occasionally, someone might live with their 2 partners in a V configuration.

Dating is hard, and most people you date won't be long term runners. This can be tiring, disappointing and you have to deal with rejection.

You will have days and nights, weeks and months, where your wife has dates and you don't. Or vice versa. You need to find ways to keep busy when your spouse is on their dates.

Your wife has already jumped in to the dating scene, but you don't seem ready to do it. There are many things to learn.
 
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