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pfs6336

New member
Hi! I am new here and new to exploring polyamory. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and we (I) have been interested in the poly lifestyle for many of those. We have not had any poly experiences, but are open to seeing where that goes in the future. We are in Tennessee and love to camp, hike, kayak, and travel.

I believe that our lives are only enhanced by adding people we care about. I'm looking forward to learning more and getting to know you all better.
 
Welcome!

I am glad you corrected yourself and said, I, instead of "we."

So your husband is NOT interested in poly, but you are? But he is maybe poly friendly, planning to stay mono while you start dating?
 
Greetings pfs6336,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You have just started on your poly journey; safe travels! Polyamory.com is a great place to learn more about poly, and you can get to know people here and forge new friendships as well. Any questions you have let us know! It sounds like your husband is truly supportive of you, and you have been patient waiting many years for your chance to explore poly. So, kudos to both of you, you are a wonderful couple. I'm glad you could join us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

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Welcome aboard!
 
Welcome!

I am glad you corrected yourself and said, I, instead of "we."

So your husband is NOT interested in poly, but you are? But he is maybe poly friendly, planning to stay mono while you start dating?

Yes, I am definitely interested in beginning dating and at this time, my hubby will remain mono for now, but he has started to talk like he would be open to pursuing new relationships in the future. I guess we are starting with me, but I believe he will eventually begin to date other women.
 
Yes, I am definitely interested in beginning dating and at this time, my hubby will remain mono for now, but he has started to talk like he would be open to pursuing new relationships in the future. I guess we are starting with me, but I believe he will eventually begin to date other women.

Cool! In a way, it's easier for one person to go first, instead of piling on the emotions around both of you starting to date at once.

It's more "fun" to date than to experience your partner dating. You get the excitement, the attention, the NRE, the joy of learning about a new person, the romance, the sex. Your husband watching from the sidelines, may experience arousal, jealousy, compersion, insecurity. He may be on a rollercoaster of emotions. You may be as well, if your first couple of dating prospects don't work out.

Stay close and reassure each other, while still respecting the humanity of the new people coming into your life/lives. Check out the stories on this board, and the More Than Two website, for common speedbumps and how to mitigate them.

One more note, you're in TN, which is very conservative. Unless you're in a city, in which case you might not experience criticism and hatred. I know in more rural areas, Tennesseeans are very hard on people who step outside the white Christian mono hetero cisgendered box.
 
Hi PFS - and welcome to the Forum! We will look forward to hearing more of your story as it evolves. Please do not hesitate to post specific thoughts and questions that you may have - we have a number of experienced poly folks here who are generally helpful and friendly.

I guess we are starting with me, but I believe he will eventually begin to date other women.

I am also in a marriage that "opened up" a couple of years ago - and my wife "went first" as well (it is a well established truism in the poly world the women generally have a much easier time finding poly partners than men do). In our case, she asked me to open our marriage so she could ethically explore her resurgent feelings for an old college boy friend - so she had someone "in the wings" so to speak, but would not act on it without my consent as a matter of personal moral philosophy. Is there someone specific for you that led you and your husband to proceed with poly?

For us, it was obviously understood that I was also welcome to find another partner, although because of logistic concerns, I wasn't sure that was likely to happen anytime soon. But eventually it did, and based on our experience, I would concur with Magdlyn - it is probably easier in most cases to start with one spouse before the other joins in - less stuff to deal with all at once. My wife found that, in spite of her having a boyfriend, it was really hard for her to come to terms with me having another partner as well, although she acknowledged that was completely illogical - and she did eventually come to terms with it.

Best of luck on your journey! Al
 
Is there someone specific for you that led you and your husband to proceed with poly?
Al

Nope. Nobody in particular in mind. However, since you mentioned it, I wouldn't be opposed to exploring the options with a college ex. However, I'm not sure I want to open up that box. I think I might need someone new. I don't know.
 
Hi! I am new here and new to exploring polyamory. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and we (I) have been interested in the poly lifestyle for many of those. We have not had any poly experiences, but are open to seeing where that goes in the future. We are in Tennessee and love to camp, hike, kayak, and travel.

I believe that our lives are only enhanced by adding people we care about. I'm looking forward to learning more and getting to know you all better.
Saying hi! Pam and I are in Northwest Tennessee, Gleason/Pillowville area, above Jackson and Mckinleyville @ 45 minutes from Paris, TN... Seeking friends...
 
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