New poly relationship, questioning whether I'm actually poly

[laurel-bonfire]

Hi Laurel,

It's probably worth mentioning that mono/poly relationships do exist; they are a thing. A challenging thing, to be sure -- but one that many people manage to do. It's a question of whether Paul can stand to share you with John -- Paul himself doesn't have to have multiple partners. If Paul says, "No, I can't share you with John," then you have to choose between Paul and John, and if you choose Paul, then the obvious outcome would be for both you and Paul to remain monogamous. But that doesn't mean mono/poly relationships don't exist.

Just a thought,
Kevin T.

Totally. I know they do! I wish they could here.

Paul realizes that if we give monogamy a shot, it might not work. He's still interested in giving it a go. It's only a matter of my ending things with my partner, who I love, but who I don't necessarily want to be with into old age. The heartbreak, the loss, all of the sadness. That said we have become REALLY good communicators and when we've discussed this possibility, he's been very open-minded. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky and stay... but I might not be able to resist Paul.

 

[kdt26417]

Yeah, it sounds like choosing between John and Paul is a really tough call.